Well yesterday i only smoked 9 cigs all day when this time last week i smoked about 18 perday so when i got up this morning i resisted the temptation to go straight out for my first ciggy and waited nearly half an hour before i finally went and had my first puff of the day. Cant say i enjoyed it much but then again i cant say i have ever enjoyed smoking, as we all know its a habit, one which im going to break. I did have 11 cigs left in a pack but have decided to destroy 4 of them so i only smoke the last 7 today and then THATS IT! and when they are gone, yes thats it N.O.P.E. as i was informed yesterday and Tomorrow, a week early i am aiming to be Smoke Free
I have removed anything associated with smoking, but because i dont smoke indoors that was only minimal, a few lighters and thats about it. I emptied the outside ashtrays ready for the last butt ends to go into today then that can be placed in the bin. I have to keep the outside ashtrays as i still have friends who come round occasionally and smoke so they need those but for me, nah after today i wont need them.
I dont actually feel the strong URGE anymore to go out, yet i am trying to finish that last pack and then thats it, i really dont want to do this anymore and so thats why i decided that tomorrow will be the START of my new life. Im going to be busy tomorrow so thats the best time to start it.
Keeping busy is a plus i have found, hence all the knitting which i have just taught myself to cast on an cast off, all i need now is support from you guys and gals and to be there occasionally if you can. I have another Nurse appt on Tuesday so that she can see how im doing, but fingers crossed when i go up i can say that i have "Stopped now" and for Good.
Im actually a little petrified at doing this, i mean what do i do when i get that bliming urge to smoke, how on earth am i going to get through the first day without holding that little buddy of mine, we have been close friends for many years and im not convinced that my buddy will go quietly and that buddy of mine is gonna give me a fight, i know it will but im gonna have to take control and say a very BIG NO to that old friend of mine and say its not welcome anymore. I have just been out for cig number 2 and considering by now i would have had at least 5 i think thats pretty good going. I dont want the family to make a song and dance about me stopping as i feel that for me it would not help. I have tried to tell me OH just to leave me alone for a few days and not aggreivate me like he does as i just want to do this at my own pace, of course he gave up the last time i tried and he managed to stay off so in one sense thats a good thing because he knows what its like to try and give up but also he is worse because he notices it more and in a way is more patronising about it. Now i know its bad for you, we all do but come on how can you just switch of the switch of something that has taken over your life. Its not easy and i know that, yet this time i feel different, more in control, less pressure if you like. Smoking outside makes it easier because im not reminded of the nasty smoke smell that most would associate in doors and for me that will help a bit.
Im dreading in one sense tomorrow morning, when normally i would need that cig to start to the day, but being a 5 minute after i wake needing cig smoker for so many years today i managed to wait so hopefully tomorrow i can just wait and wait and i wont have any so im not going out to buy some, i mean why should i. I feel ready to give them up now i have to let my willpower kick in and stop me from going out to have one.
I dont actually know what i get from those things, i dont inhale and so i think its just as many of us know a really nasty habit. I will write most days on here, like a diary because i feel that it will help me. I know i dont want to smoke and for so many reasons its not financial yet we are all seeing the cost rise, its not just for my health but that helps its all sorts of reasons and ones that i know and no one else does.
I get bored easily, hence the starting again of knitting, i cant knit patterns but i can knit scarves so everyone in the family will get one while i aim to give up this nasty legal addiction.
Thank you for this great site, hopefully here i can get all the extra help and support im gonna need.
Wish Me Luck as i know its gonna be hard but this is only the beginning and from when i go tobed tonight i will wake up tomorrow a Non Smoker!