Grrr.... I am hoping this monster addiction loses it's grip sometime soon. It's amazing, just when I start thinking wow, this is easier than I thought, the urges come and when they come, they sure know what buttons to push to get their fix.
I haven't given in.... so far. I am finding my determination starting to fade though... Having thoughts that right now really isn't the best time (even though I can't think of any reason that it isn't the right time!).. I am looking for something but dam, I can't seem to find anything that is reason enough to do it.
I am finding myself envisioning myself going to the store in my buidling, getting a pack and just smoking the whole bloody thing in a matter of an hour. Yeah, that'd make me feel really good. Really good indeed. I just read a post by Sylvie that helped. She said that she found the fourth week to be the hardest. I was relieved to read that because I was really starting to question myself... "will this ever get better?, will I ever get my motivation back?" The thoughts seem to be there more now then they have been in a while, the urges aren't as often, but ((((****seem****)))) to be stronger.
Help me with some movation, please!