Needing help!

Perhaps things will seem better when I've written it down...

Been quit 10 weeks and done brilliantly: coped well with craves, situations etc, started exercise, even cut out caffeine as well! Particularly proud of how I've dealt with stressful times.

Anyway. Today have found out that my husband is likely going to be made redundant and all our security has been whipped away from us in one go. I gave up work to look after our three small children, so we will shortly have no income.

Panic! At first I really, desperately needed a smoke - even got myself and my little boy ready to go to the shop. I stopped myself, though, and have since been at my computer reading, reading, reading. Been trying to talk myself out of it, with success so far.

But am still feeling wobbly :(

Off to pick up my children from school, so that will keep me occupied for a little longer, but not sure how long before I cave. 10 weeks! I can't throw that away! I know it will make me feel 100 times worse than I do now, but there's that stupid little voice in my head telling me that a smoke will make it all better - even though I know it won't.

I can do this, can't I? I can get over this.

15 Replies

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  • Perhaps things will seem better when I've written it down...

    And hopefully you'll have a more objective view on things having listed them.

    Been quit 10 weeks and done brilliantly: coped well with craves, situations etc, started exercise, even cut out caffeine as well! Particularly proud of how I've dealt with stressful times.

    You have done brilliantly and after all these positives it would be a crying shame to throw it all away.

    and have since been at my computer reading, reading, reading. Been trying to talk myself out of it, with success so far.

    That's what we keep reminding folk to do...that and post before caving.

    10 weeks! I can't throw that away! I know it will make me feel 100 times worse than I do now, but there's that stupid little voice in my head telling me that a smoke will make it all better - even though I know it won't.

    Yes it will make you feel tons worse and so for that very reason don't throw it away. That stupid little voice is nicodemon and we all have dealt with it in our own ways and practiced and practiced ignoring it until it eventually receded from our consciousness...it's possibly still there, but only a very quiet voice now.

    I can do this, can't I? I can get over this.

    Yes you can do this...I managed to do it and around the 10 week time I also got hit by a regressive major work related change. The main target is becoming a non-smoker again.

    Oh, and thinking about you Skippy...be strong and get passed this glitch :)

  • Thank you, Cavalier.

    So far, so good :o

    Believe me, smoking is the last thing I want or need, but I'm feeling pretty weak and vulnerable at the moment.

    A bit calmer, though, so hopefully I'll ride through this.

  • You're going through some tough times Skippy. But have some hope, you were right when you said things will feel better when you have written them down.

    During the first few weeks of my quit I wrote pretty much daily here on the forum. Not only did i get the support from people who have gone through what i have to quit - i also got to vent my feelings and write them down. Releasing your emotions is a good thing as i'm sure you already know.

    Focus on your time on your kids (my 2yr old daughter was a real inspiration for me to quit) and have faith that your husband will find another job shortly. For what it's worth, i've been made redundant from two jobs and the job i have now is better than either of those.

    Try to stay calm and have faith, but please please do NOT even think that cigarettes are the answer to your problems. You know they are not. 10 weeks is a brilliant quit - don't throw that away for anything.

  • tao, thanks.

    Lots of reading stuff and deep breathing here and still no fags.

    Feeling particularly crappy, but my lungs are still clean and my quit is still going, so that's something, right?

    My husband is a wonderful person and very good at his job and I just know he'll get something very soon. I've lots of faith in him. Not much faith in the current jobs market and economic climate, though...

    My children are the biggest reason for my quit and so looking into their faces this evening has helped me to not step off that precipice.

    I think I might get through this xx

  • Skippy, when things go wrong we all want to reach for a cig but I am sure your husband would still be made redundant all the same if that is going to happen, then you would be smoking again and there would be the added cost on top of everything else,so now you know you cant smoke for more reasons than the fact you have chosen not too for health family etc.

    So is that adding more pressure on you to stay quit, I think maybe it is choice is one thing force is another.

    You are doing OK and I'm sure you know that and I truly hope you want succumb and go and buy cigs, stay strong and I hope that something comes along that will ease you burden, every time you consider smoking look at the face in the mirror, Im sure it looks healthier than it has for a long time, take good care of yourself and those lovely children and of course your OH who is probably feeling really down and demoralised, give him a hug from all on NSD and tell him we are behind you if not in body but in thought xx

  • Jamangie, thank you for your wise words and support.

    I'm not struggling as much at the moment, but I'll be a lot happier when I go to bed and close my eyes and my mind on this day xx

  • Ah Im sorry that you feel the need to go to bed to escape the craves and the problems you are facing at the mo, when you look back at when you smoked how long did it take you to smoke a cig, 3 mins or there abouts, well shut your eyes for 3 mins and imagine you have smoked the ciggie, then carry on as you would have then, you didnt smoke all day long but only for about an hour per day in total so think in them terms and you will find its not so bad, that was one of the ways I kept my quit going when I felt weak, dont need to do it now as I just say to myself dont be silly you dont smoke, works and with the water as well keeps me possitive and a none smoker, just going to get some water LOL xx

  • Well, I made it. I didn't smoke today.

    Off to bed now after having some chocolate and a couple of glasses of wine. Still feeling awful, and there's that little git of a demon still whispering in my brain that a ciggy will make the bad stuff go away, but I'm sticking my fingers in my ears and singing "la la la la" to drown the little bugger out.

    I didn't smoke today. I'll hang on to that thought.

    Thanks to all who offered their support xx

  • Well, I made it. I didn't smoke today.

    Off to bed now after having some chocolate and a couple of glasses of wine. Still feeling awful, and there's that little git of a demon still whispering in my brain that a ciggy will make the bad stuff go away, but I'm sticking my fingers in my ears and singing "la la la la" to drown the little bugger out.

    I didn't smoke today. I'll hang on to that thought.

    Thanks to all who offered their support xx

    Hi skippy,

    I am sorry to hear your news. I know how scary it is, happened to me once (hubby I mean) & it is such a worrying time. I think we all know that a ciggie does not ultimately change anything in our lives. We think it helps us cope but in truth it doesn't. Thats the druggy addiction side telling us it will get us through anything. It doesn't, our strength & determination is what gets us through such things. Redundancy is horrible, is hanging over my head right now when I am already having money problems & am on yet another quit.

    Please, please, try not to throw your quit away over this. It will take even more determination & gritting of teeth I know but redundancy does not physically give you awful diseases or kill you unlike smoking.

    I send you all my strength (easier to give to others than use sometimes so you have full strength if you get what I mean) & determination to get through this time in your life.

    Hugz, gaynor x

  • Thanks, Gaynor, for taking the time to respond. I'm sorry too that you have this awful thing hanging over you. It's so unfair, isn't it?

    I still haven't smoked, but I'm still struggling. It's been another difficult day and the way I feel at the moment, it's not going to improve any :(

  • I think it's passed ;)

    Thanks all xx

  • I think it's passed ;)

    Thanks all xx

    Great News! :D

    Stay Strong. :)

  • Just thought I'd update you all.

    Husband was finally made redundant at 4pm yesterday.

    11am today he was offered a job :)

    The new job is much better, more senior and higher paid, so a total win situation!

    Oh, and I've been quit almost 12 weeks, NO blips :D

  • Hi Skippy

    Great news about you OH's job - I'm a great believer that things happen for a reason! My OH was made redundant from a job that he hated and was making him ill - found another job and is as happy as larry :)

    Well done you on your almost 12 weeks too :D

  • whoop whoop skippy, your quit & oh's new job, get you 2 LOl

    Seriously happy for you & here's to a new phase in your lifes :D

    G xx

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