Terrible Threes or a Miserable Quitter?........

[nsd_user663_9067]

OK I've took a deep breath in and am slowly exhaling as I type this........

Not a happy quitter at the moment, 3 months passed last Sunday, nowt to celebrate.......thats how I felt.........the last week or two have been rough, feel very cold turkey all over again, had quite a few substantial craves and extended thoughts about smoking!

Gosh I know it's stupid, I dont want to do it again but a part of me DOES WANT TO SMOKE AGAIN! Is this the final throes of the Nicodemon? I see people who look good smoking and think 'I wish it were me'! OK the other end of the scale I see so much cigarette litter on my country walks that smokers now disgust me, I've even brand specified the biggest culprits.........also another bus ride with my little un and some lads sparked up, I was fuming, my son said 'mummy where is that smoke coming from its hurting my eyes'.........and it really was, he's had conjunctivitus all week!

Yet even with all the negatives I would still give my right arm for a blinkin fag right now, worst thing is OH is coping fine with no real drama! Am I a born drama queen?? School holidays means Ive not made it to gym or done much exercised and a 4 year old with a developing attitude and tantrums not helped much!

I am a desperate woman at the moment, I even tried to rationalise tonight what could give me a good reason to start again.........you know a good excuse! How lame is that? Smoking..........I will never underestimate it again, never before have I had such randomly good, bad, brilliant and awful days!

I want to go into hiding........feeling very vulnerable........is it terrible 3's? Never believed this at first but think there could be something in it! I gotta dig deep to pull off this 4th month I think..........wish me luck :mad:

Shelly xx

[nsd_user663_5028]

Hi Shelly

hang in there it will pass and you will soon be in happy 4 land ...........

Shelly ignore these craves trust me you dont want to smoke again you have done brilliant so far why go down that route again .... and no your not being a drama queen at all, all quitters have good months and bad months take heart from your OH and draw from it ...two months down the line he may be struggling and you will be having a good time of it ...hang in there Shelly freedom is just around the corner

[nsd_user663_10813]

HI Shelly,

missed you.

you are no miserable quitter -no -no. I suspect it is the dreaded terrible threes.

so many people talk about it on here and I do believe it.

you have done brilliantly and I am following up the cliff face behind you -so you got to keep going to throw me the rope you hear?

having a young energetic young un is enough to send any mum insane on half term-feeling vulnerable and lousy on top well?

I think it is the nicodemon worming his way in while you are low. just whispering to you -go on have one.

you wont my friend - because it stinks and read your post a week or so ago where you and family had a lovely time in the garden.

hang on Shelly-I will throw you a rope when I reach you [and we aint plunging together :eek::eek:] xxx

[nsd_user663_1658]

Hi shelly

I can get u with school holidays ..luckily this week i got help OH is off work ..But next week im :eek: ing at the thought of it ......xxx

U wont have to dig too deep ,,,,,your doing everything you know & let me say i think your doing very well ........Get all ure power back ...read all the no smoking info again online or in books...to keep reminding you how every hour you are doing not smoking .. is healing you ........although you mite not think it at the moment but each crave you get is too making you stronger for the next ones ...you will come out of this laughing coz i think your stronger then u know

good luck xxx

[nsd_user663_9175]

Shelley you and I are at exactly the same stage, and feeling exactly the same as well - it's rubbish isn;t it?

However, a friend of mine called me a couple of weeks ago - a month ago she was at 16 weeks or so and going through the most awful time, depressed, tearful, irritable, really strong craves etc and she was really struggling. I talked to her for ages trying to bring her down and felt so awful for her.

She called me again last Sunday and she was like a completely different person! She said she couldn't believe it but she just feels so much better in herself, more positive, happier and has gone from being a reluctant non-smoker to accepting and embracing it. She doesn't know what happened but she told me to hang on in there as there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel.

Trouble is even as I'm writing this - knowing that it's true - I am still having an internal struggle with myself. Really thought that the worst would be over by now and not sure how much longer I can go on feeling this way either - I'm just hoping good times are around the corner

No-one can underestimate how difficult this journey is for some people, and we should feel so proud of ourselves for coming this far x

[nsd_user663_4990]

I had a bit of a bad time during my 4th month, felt really down, and couldnt' quite snap out of it either.

It passed as quickly as it descended on me though, but it was like i just had to go through it... to reach the truly greener pastures over the other side of the river... and this 4th month was my troll bridge

Persevere, don't lose faith in yourself, yes this is one of the last dirty tricks that nico has got left for you .. he's spat his dummy out big time now so he's trying to make you miss him.

won't work though, not this time.. you hang in there!!

j

[nsd_user663_9067]

Phew.......thanks everyone of you who took the time to reply, a problem shared and all that, but it has made me feel better.........I watched the news after posting last night and felt thoroughly silly for moaning.

I can probably pinpoint a few reasons for my wobbly week, lack of sleep is one of them........since quitting I dont have the ability to nod back off after being woke up, and been woken up a lot recently! Also I'm feeling a bit complacent........all the good things that have happened since I quit I now take for granted........my biggest worry is forgetting all the benefits down the line and being tempted to start again!

I guess if I summed up how I felt it would be a bit 'void', like I'm in a daze, I know it is just the next hurdle in the big scheme of things but it's a mental state I cant shake off right now, very annoying.

There are a few situations I have avoided to protect myself, one of them is meeting an old friend who was a smoking buddy, I just cant face seeing them at the moment, terrible isnt it but I know I will be tempted and I am not always strong! OH is quite casual about it, I suppose we are along different lines at the moment and he doesn't really help me, he rarely even talks about it anymore..........yes maybe he is yet to hit his hurdle and I will be over mine, sometimes its like being trapped in a bad movie! :cool:

Well back to taking each hour and day at at time..........

Cheers everyone xx

[nsd_user663_2484]

Phew, am relieved to see it is not just me. I've been smoke free for just over 15 weeks now but oh goodness have I had some major struggles lately.

I can relate to lots you have all said. Wish I could stop eating as well. I did so well the first 6 weeks in not putting any weight on but oh heavens I think I have put about a stone on this last 8 or 9 weeks.

Shall keep persevering. Good luck everyone.

[nsd_user663_7469]

Hi Shelly I am now 5 months and still get the odd crave, but around the last week of month 2 and far into month three I wanted to rip my own head off let alone someone else’s, I couldn’t cope at all and really thought that I would go back to smoking again just to feel "normal" whatever that means.

I truly believe there is a 3 Demon out there and it is when we are at our most vulnerable for no reason that we can understand just that we are he comes a calling just to see how weak we are and if he can tempt us to have a little puff, you like me didn’t give in and want so he will go in a puff of no smoke :D.

I think that we will for a while have the whisper craves as I call them but nothing you can’t deal with, we still remember that we think we enjoyed smoking, and therefore we think we miss it, but you only have to read the threads from those that have slipped to know just how much they regret doing it, cruel as this may sound if there had been no slippers I think I would have started again,as there slip has made me think god that could have been me, so hang in there and you will I promise come out the other end and feel so good about it.

[nsd_user663_7469]

Knew I should have gone to spec savers

4654

[nsd_user663_9067]

Yes I now truly believe there is truth behind the terrible 3's...........I mean I was desperate to get to month 3...........was starting to feel real proud.............then BANG my bubble was burst and instead feelings of disapointment, anger and bad tempered (my poor family), cravings and feeling so so low!

Seems theres a few of us hangin on by the skin of our teeth, I'm happy to report that my eating has levelled out, no longer eating for 3 but still partial to the odd pork pie yummy! One of my targets is to get my weight lower than it was as a smoker (11 pounds to go) then I can say to the newbies or wannabee quitters that you CAN have it all!! Right now i am struggling to put one foot in front of the other but I'll get there.............it seems some are hit by fatigue more than others!

I am basically doing everything in my power to get through this horrible time..........playing music LOUD, reading, housework, gardening blah blah anything but smoke!

Shelly xx

[nsd_user663_11124]

Thank you, Shelley, for this thread.

I have just done 4 months (had my last cigarette on 2nd. February) and am feeling everything you are feeling.

I'm so down I can't believe.... I find myself crying quietly several times a day; wanting a cigarette more and more.

I'm thinking this so isn't worth it and I might as well smoke again.

But, so far, I haven't given in and have completed 17 weeks and 2 days fag-free.

Thank goodness for this thread - I can see that it's probably part of the process and I'll stick with it a while longer and hope that I reach the sunlit uplands soon....

[nsd_user663_8325]

I'm coming up to 4 months next week and just thought I'd check in.

It's been pretty plain sailing lately. I had a few moments while on holiday a couple of weeks ago whilst sat on the balcony having a beer, but apart from that it's all good and feeling much better for it.

Festival season kicks off for me next weekend, which will be the next hurdle.

[nsd_user663_10279]

Just flicking through the responses on here and could see that we all have our ups and downs, and usually at different times...but we all get the highs just as we all get the lows....strange how one day one person is on a high and someone else is as rock bottom.

Not one person is sailing through this, which in a way is comforting to me. Just a bit surprised that even people who are on their 9 months to a year quit are still getting the cravings sometimes.

I have never got this far before and keep myself motivated by talking to friends on here and by reading the posts as it helps me enormously.

[nsd_user663_9067]

Just popped by tonight to post really, been reading all my responses and they help tremendously, especially as today has been as up and down as any day so far............in fact came so close today to saying 'to hell with it'!

Had a lovely day and enjoyed the sunshine, but 3 or 4 times really had that feeling something was missing, especially sat outside watching the sunset with a glass of wine, god I could have easily succummed!

At least I know Im not alone and like you nana Ive had a few tears this week and im not a crying type of person. I have not smoked, that must be a good sign but hand on heart if I think of the future I dont see me getting there, I know that sounds so defeatest, but thats my honest feelings right now!

Hope to god I look back on this soon and thank god I rode it out!

I think this may be a seasonal afflication too, lots of people in beer gardens smoking, not that I go to many but with me its all illusion, and the illusion looks bloody good right now!

Thanks everyone xx

[nsd_user663_10813]

Shelly -you will get there -honestly you will.

I think it is something to do with the weather and the feeling rightly that we should be grateful and happy for the sunshine. and we are remember wistfully of times with a beer and a relaxing cig in the sunshine. but it was an illusion -you are spot on . lots of posts at the moment with our friends relapsing and having a blip. So tempting. I would have walked two miles last night to late garage if hubby hadnt seen through my ruse for needing a loaf of bread for breakfast today[its a spar as well].

you have shown such determination so far personally I know we are not supposed to look too far ahead and just make small milestones. I cannot do that and I think you struggle with that too.

but I guess it makes sense . get through the weekend Shelly and I will too.

promise . xxx

[nsd_user663_10013]

Skylark - you just made me laugh. I've lost count of the stupid reasons I've come up with to walk to the local co-op - luckily OH isn't daft.

Shelly I so feel for you at the moment. I think the good weather isn't helping anyone especially those of us relatively new to our quits. All I can hear and smell these days is people laughing with a beer and a ciggie and it's taking all my strength to think that it's not the ciggie that's making them laugh! Take each day as it comes - every morning I remind myself that I don't smoke and it works - most of the time

[nsd_user663_9789]

I think I've been hit by the terrible three's as well. Last night, for the first time since I quit, I dreamed of smoking. It was a bit scary as it was really really good. I mean it was utterly unrealistic - it tasted of lazy summer afternoons and vanilla and stuff like that. It did'nt taste of self hatred, addicition, grease and death like they actually taste and smell like. It was very strange and a little scary - when I woke up for the first few seconds I had thought I'd smoked but simply because I was'nt wheezing and coughting and I could breath, so I clearly had'nt. Its by far the closest I've come to really wanting to smoke since I quit - was'nt good.

[nsd_user663_9067]

Think we could be onto something here..............yes vivid dreams have been rampant the last week.............havent dreamt of smoking but dreamt OH had started again and I was given a gorgeous white and tan jack russell which even after waking this morning I thought had really happened, disappointed to realise it was just a dream!

Sky, you are a case, Im gonna have a word with your hubby get him to sort you out........you have had tremendous benefits which would be too good to throw away...........I have total faith in you Mrs!

Yes Pookie everyone is having a good time lately outside at their BBQS etc with their cigarettes, it sounds awful but I cant wait for winter to see these blinkin' smokers shivering..........although I have developed a quite superior attitude over smokers now, I feel a more upper class citizen he he!

One good thing happened today, 3 people asked me if I had been using something special for my skin, hey girls its gone plump! I'm not a vain person and dont take compliments well, but must admit it felt good coz I have noticed that my skin is younger looking and has developed a peachy colour.......YIPPPEEEEEEE!!!

Will get through this, Scribble great post! Lazy summer afternoons now to me are actually smelling the gorgeous flowers we have and freshly cut grass, things are so much more beautiful with your senses, except today cows poo from next door field not agreeing with me!

Love Shelly xx