I started smoking when I was just 15. By the time I was 23 I was on 20 a day, and hated it. One day, I decided to quit. I remember turning on my pc for a mooch about on the internet, armed with an empty ashtray and my cigs. An hour or so later, I logged off the net and noticed that there were 4 fag butts in the ashtray - I didn't remember lighting them, smoking them or putting them out. What the hell? I felt utter disgust with myself, and decided right them and there that enough was enough. I threw the almost full packet of cigarettes in the bin and never smoked a single cigarette for 7 years!!
Then last year I stupidly started again. It crept up on me gradually.....I'd have the occaisional one when I was out in the pub with friends.....before I knew it I was back on 10 a day, and it's been like that for the past year. I now have two gorgeous boys aged 7 and 4, and they don't even know I was smoking. I'd hide in the back garden, hoping they wouldn't come out looking for me, and trying to waft the smell away afterwards. I was so gutted when one of them gave me a hug one day and asked me what that awful smell was
Yesterday, again hiding in the back garden and puffing away, I just had a moment of realisation - enough was enough. Why was I doing it? Didn't make sense. We don't have much money, and here's me burning any spare cash we have away. I'd die of shame if my kids caught me, and I certainly don't want them to pick up the 'habbit' when they're older. So I stubbed it out, and here I am a day later......determined. Wish me luck guys xx