Messed my quit up again

Hi folks,

I might as well come right out with it. Had 'blip' no 2 last night. Yes was drunk again and had 2/3 fags. Not full ones but still.

I am worried cos if I am totally honest it was too easy to just do it last night.

I now have very sore sinuses and am coughing a lot which is a shock after so little.

I really don't know what to say but as much as I don't want to smoke today I really feel like I am losing the momentum or focus and am really struggling to get it back.

I feel like i have let everyone on here down but didn't want to pretend it hadn't happened.

I really deserve a kick up the backside so feel free. Any recommendations of something to read/watch would be much appreciated too.

Why have I started feeling like i am missing something once I have a couple of vino's?

I know the best thing is not to drink and I wish I had listened to Jamangie two weeks ago.

Debx

13 Replies

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  • Alcohol has alot to answer for. I find i'm not only nicer :eek:but alot more in control and happier not drinking. :) How manhy drinks did it take to get you to spark up?

  • I think most of us on here have had blips and slips. That doesn't mean it's ok. It's like putting your hand in the lions den really but it's part of most peoples quit.

    Drinking was my main trigger as i actually only ever enjoyed fags with booze. I still miss the combo a bit now. I finally properly quit =six months ago and had to literally teach myself to drink alcohol without them. TRigger one has now bit the bullet i'm glad to say.....

    Even though i consider vmyself six months quit , i've still had three ciggies.....stupid, but i am human and i was an addict for years. It happens, but don't let it be more than a slip....;)

  • Thanks very much for your replies.

    Fallen angel It was a fair few, two cocktails and a large quantity of wine. I had planned to go home much earlier as I could feel myself starting to fancy a cig but I let my friend convince me to stay out longer then go back to hers for more booze. Stupid erse that I am. I was however much nicer and a much better singer too lol.

    I kinda don't want to make it be ok cos then I could slip into smoking whenever I drink and we all know where that ends up. smoking at least 5 more a day than you did before. Been there, done that and really don't want to go there again.

    Jude I think I will have to stop drinking altogether. Which is rubbish cos its party season with my friends but until I can be sure I won't do it again I kinda have to. Its not worth the risk.

    Took my niece to Build a Bear Workshop today to treat her and to remind myself that two days before payday I have some cash in the bank which I would not have if I smoked!! She picked a dog which she has name after my Mums next door neighbour. Poor woman lol.

    Debsx

  • Are you ready Debs cause here is a mamouth kick up the Jacksie, one you so so deserve and the next time you will be kicked so hard you will be orbitting the moon.

    No more booze till you can control your urges, oh Debs come on girl you can do this and you know by the reaction it is giving you that you have to stop and stay stopped, where do you get the cigs from, if you say friends I will say they are not real friends as I wouldnt give a cig to a freind who I knew to be inebriated and quit, look deeper at your friendships and maybe its time to either take control of your life or find some new friends, dont do this again else I will be round to tie your hands behind your back next time you go out :rolleyes:

  • Listen to J,she talks a lot of sense.She also talks a lot of crap but don't tell her i said that;)

    Hi J,how are you today hun,luv ya really.:D

    Seriously,whats the point of beating yourself up ?It's not going to turn back the clock is it?and make those blips go away.Just accept them for what they are and go on with the quit.You have got this far and got a hell of a lot further than many people on here.So give yourself a huge pat on the back and a big hug and forget it.It may be wise to give the booze a wide berth for the time being though.

    Good luck

    debbiexxx

  • Hey Debmcfly

    We seem in pretty similar situatons at the moment, i was doing great until i had a drink. I should have listened to Jamangie too! she is going to find me a quit buddy for more motivation. I really really want to be a non-smoker for life, i am just going to have to cut out the drink like you. I wouldnt mind but I dont even drink alot! But i like a couple of glasses of wine maybe 1 day a week and thats all it takes to start me off thinking I am missing out!! I hate fags!!

    Keep it up and fingers crossed for us both x

  • Hello folks,

    Jamangie. My bum is red from the kicking but much deserved so thank you for that. Needed to hear it. I now know my triggers so shall be avoiding them at all costs. Re my friends they have been smokers and just as innebriated but I should have listened to my instincts and gone home when I felt the trigger kicking in rather than allowing myself to be talked into staying out.

    I do need to do this properly. It will be worth it. I guess I thought that as 3 months on patches and i hadn't smoked I thought I was over it and immune somehow. I got complaceant. I will find it hard as was just getting my social life back on track after getting over a bad relationship but this is more important.

    I am going to buy a car in the next few weeks so that will be something really good to be spending my money on and I will want to drive everywhere.

    Debbie thanks for your post. I think I need to beat myself up a tad or I will start to think its ok if that makes sense but I know I do need to start being upbeat and positive about my quit to keep going.

    Trying my best, sorry to hear you are also finding drinking hard. Its rubbish isn't it! I find its only after a fair amount of booze that I start thinking that way. I can do a few glasses no problem but its later on thats the issue.

    I am going to cut it out for a good while then see how I feel. I did a month alcohol free at the start of my quit and that did help then so maybe the same thing again. At least a month this time. We can do this, we just need to try really hard. Be worth it.

    Thanks everyone, I really appreciate being able to come on and be honest about my second slip and not being told to go back to day one even if some people thing I should.

    Debsxx

  • Hey deb

    so sorry i missed all this i thought id posted..........No ure not on day 1 ...Your right were u should be in ure quit ..a couple of smokes along the way but so what .......This quit is for the rest of ur life ..whos counting the mistakes ..........Keep posting & ure right I agree it is good to come on here without being judged.....Your life dosnt sound straight forward at the moment ..so for that an extra big Well done to you xxxx

    Just from previous quits ..i get what u mean with the momentum going once you make have a smoke or 2 ...or 3 or a whole 40 ....it sort of stops it ..like you know its easy to break a quit ..therefore its so flipping hard to get all that positive feeling back even wen uve not smoking again...but you will & wen you get back into ure quit it will be as if this never happened:) xxx

  • Hi Deb,

    My advice may be a little controversional but, having read the laswt post of yours on this thread, have you considered just going cold turkey from this point on and carrying on the rest of your life as normal???

    The reason I say this is I lost my last serious quit at 3 months on nicotine lozenges and because I started going out again. I personally feel that having some intake of nicotine, albeit through the lozenges, for all that time and then stopping made me crave worse after thinking I had beaten it. I had also stopped going out etc so when i came of the lozenges and started going out again etc it was all too tempting.

    I decided this time to do it with nothing and to keep my habits as normal as possible so I didn't think I had beaten it again only to fall at the first hurdle. This time I went cold turkey and prepared myself for a struggle but that the nicotine would be out a lot quicker. I also carried on going out for a social drink as I had done when smoking. It was bloody bloody hard to begin with but hey no-one said quitting was easy. I was prepared to go with the pain to get to somewhere where it becomes normal not to smoke with a drink - the first month or so I was desperate for a ciggie with a drink. At times I didn't think I would do it but I can say that I am at just over 4 months now and i can go out for a drink and spend quite a large proportion of the evening not even remembering I smoked!!! I even managed to get through a funeral wake ... absolutely drunk out of my head and moaning how I really thought I was going to smoke and couldn't cope with not having one, worrying all my friends (who have been truly amazing I have to say) ... however I didn't smoke and still haven't.

    As they say it is all about habitual behaviour and changing it. It is documented that the reason you forget about a smoke after food so early on is becasue of the number of times you eat in a day/week/month etc etc so it becomes "normal" fairly quickly to not associate eating with smoking as you get further and further away from when you did... this one was a real pleasant suprise as I always thought I would miss the food ones the most!! The same seems to have applied for me with the social drink ... I won't lie, when I remember when I am out I still fancy one but the thought is often fleeting. I am hoping in a few months I can have a great night out like I used to but as an ex-smoker.

    This could be totally the wrong way for you to go as everyone copes differently in their quit but I found the extremely difficult way has worked for me so far this time!! It does make you all the more determined though as you have put so much energy and bloody-mindedness into it!!!

    However you decide to proceed in the next stage of your quit journey I wish you all the best. Here's hoping we all manage to spend the rest of our lives smokefree.

    xxx :D

    Anyway, I detract from what I was waffling about!

  • Hey Kitkat,

    Thanks hon. I am working on getting back to a positive frame of mind re the quit. Thanks for letting me know it comes back, that cheered me up big time!

    Jodi, thanks so much. Not controversial at all! I have been NRT free since 27th March so been cold turkey since then and carrying on with life as normal as I can as I agree with your view on carrying on normal life.

    I took four weeks at the start where I kinda hid away but since Feb have been carrying on as normal. Just wish I could understand what happened a few weeks ago to trigger this behaviour when really drunk. I won't start staying in I promise, will just hold off on the booze or stick to one or two only. I hope I haven't misread what you were trying to say, am doing this in work and having to switch windows lots to hide this.......

    Thanks everyone, I promise you guys and myself that I will make it to that blinkin 6 month mark which looks so good right now with no more blips/slips/relapsing. Had a slight cough since the weekend so think you are right Jamamgie and my body is telling me all I need to know.

    Have a great day everyone!

    Debsxxx

  • Hi folks,

    I might as well come right out with it. Had 'blip' no 2 last night. Yes was drunk again and had 2/3 fags. Not full ones but still.

    I am worried cos if I am totally honest it was too easy to just do it last night.

    I now have very sore sinuses and am coughing a lot which is a shock after so little.

    I really don't know what to say but as much as I don't want to smoke today I really feel like I am losing the momentum or focus and am really struggling to get it back.

    I feel like i have let everyone on here down but didn't want to pretend it hadn't happened.

    I really deserve a kick up the backside so feel free. Any recommendations of something to read/watch would be much appreciated too.

    Why have I started feeling like i am missing something once I have a couple of vino's?

    I know the best thing is not to drink and I wish I had listened to Jamangie two weeks ago.

    Debx

    hi Deb

    sorry about your blip but hey ho no matter pick yourself up and dust yourself down and on you go ........... here is my advise for what it is worth ...if you keep running away from your triggers you will fail everytime... go out enjoy yourself have a drink because if you dont a year down the line you have a drink and wham you will slip .... do it now the sooner the better just try stay focused and tell yourself you dont need a cig with a drink ok you may fail again but better now in the early days than running away from it it for months being miserable because you cant have a beer ....meet your fears head on and kick them in the arse ....... you want to stop smoking dont you? not stop having a drink and so******ing .... you know what they say Debs

    It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed :)

  • Hey Bradders,

    Thanks very much for your post. I do get what you are saying but I know deep down that I need to not drink so much right now. I have been quit for almost 5 months and been having a normal social life for four of those but something has changed in the last three weeks and until I sort that out I don't want to risk my quit. I have relapsed before in similar circumstances so I want to knock it on the head now.

    I am determined and I know I can do this I just need to not get so blotto I make bad decisions.

    Its a tough old gig this quitting lark sometimes but I tell you I still think its worth it. Crikey I am feeling all positive today :) Result!

    Debsxx

  • Hi DebMcFly,

    You may remember I posted soon after your first blip as I had one myself too.

    And, unfortunately, like yourself, I have had another relapse. I had another blip pretty much on the same day as you did. I think there may be something to take from this. A week, or two, or three later another blip is bound to happen....? I dunno.

    A couple when having a BBQ last weekend, and a couple on Friday night at a friends birthday party. Our quit dates are pretty much the same - the middle of January 2010. Do I feel bad that I have failed? Yes.

    And no.

    This quit is a long long process.

    I now understand its a tougher thing to do than I first thought. This kind of gives an excuse to what has happened, but I think this is the truth. Only by way of hard work, and a few mistakes along the way can we really get to where we want to be.

    Alcohol was deffo a trigger for me. I feel bad about it. I really really do.

    However, I'm determined that this is a wake up call that I so badly need. Although, I've gotta be honest; there have been no physical cravings or symptoms so to speak, it is alot easier to "have one" and not need another ---- which kind of goes against everything that is said / proved / expected / will happen. But I'm sure that would change if I didn't stop again right now.

    I think its still under control..I can still stop this in its tracks...but it feels a bit different this time. I had that last cig, and it was fine, I woke up that next day, no problem. NO cravings. NO desire. NO problem (maybe....). BUT a subtle knowing that one COULD be around the corner if I WANTED it. WEIRD.

    Good luck. Keep us posted.

    I wouldn't be here if i didn't want to kick this habit into touch.

    Cheers,

    Paul

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