Thank to everyone who posted advice and encouragement.
On my 9th week now and I feel so much better, St Johns Wort and a bit of exercise obviously kicking in. I can now see clearly the benefits, smell, money, health and many more.
I now know I have to dig those heels in. God what a waste it would be to fail now. Imagine day one again oh NO!!!
So to anyone who is struggling do what I did and read posts, take advice and try to find a way that works for you, the benefits are amazing.
Good luck to everyone and hope you are all well