I wanted to shake off the shame that clung to me every time I nipped out for a fag and left my kids or friends.
I didn't want to see the disappointment in my sons' eyes after another failed quit attempt
I wanted to wake up and not cough
I don't like failing and my smoking addiction was my biggest failure
I wanted to enjoy things without always constantly thinking when can I shoot off for a cigarette.
Basically, I wanted to take back control of my life. I can't do anything about the 20 odd years that nicotine has been ever present in my life but I am determined that it has no part in my present or my future.
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there some great reasons ellie - the best thing is that they are all about you, which is really important as you probably well know. Its gotta be for yourself first. But really everyone benefits in the long run. Good on you, I wish you all the good fortune in the world with it
Those reasons are pretty much exactly like my own, except I have a few extra.
Smoking made me lie to people I loved - I'm not a liar, and I'll never lie about smoking again. I've done this quit openly, honestly and successfully - with hard times included. It was also threatening to take me away from my kids before I should be, and they need me as I'm a single mum. One of them also has a bone disorder and will always need me not only around, but healthy and fit. I turned this into a reason for myself by realising that I don't want to be a selfish mother, I want to know that I'm totally devoted to my kids and I couldn't do that til I quit smoking.
I had to trawl back to find my reasons. A bit sad that I have since seen the disappointment in my sons' eyes after another failed quit. I don't want to let them or myself down again.
I can't pin point a specific reason why i've decided to give up smoking.
I know the well advertised health and finance benefits of doing so and my (non-smoking) wifes pleas over the past 20 years have not persuaded me to try so hard as i am trying now.
I've tried (feebly) to quit before without success using Nicorette gum and patches and even the prescription tablets Zyban combined with electronic cigarettes only cut my smoking down to 3 cigarettes a day.
The longest period i've gone without a cigarette in the past 30 years is 18 hours (and i was asleep for 7 of those hours!).
At 53 and been a smoker for 38 years then I think i am now just fed up of smoking, tired of the same old habit (much of which i didn't actually enjoy), tired of my life revolving around cigarettes ie "When i've finished eating this i'll have a ciggie", "I'll have a cuppa so as i can have a ciggie with it", "Must have a ciggie now as not allowed to smoke in the cinema" etc etc.
I also began to realise that i didn't like the smell of other smokers, not just their clothes and breath as they past me by but also the actual fumes from the cigarette.
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It's now 7 days, the longest i've ever not had a ciggie since me teenage years and even though it's a tough ride i'm determined to never smoke again........... i just hope the ride doesn't stay rough for too long
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