Who am I now???!!

Morning everyone,

I thought I would start a thread off as I am finding a particular withdrawal very difficult and I haven't really seen anyone else reporting on it on here and it is driving me CRAZYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

I am at day 33 of my quit ... it will be 5 weeks on Tuesday (yes, it will, as I will make it to Tuesday without a doubt!). I don't want a ciggarette per say, most cravings seem to have gone for good, I don't really think about one after food ... which is truly amazing seems as all I do at the moment is eat lol!! I have had some pretty stressful events in the past week and the huge cravings that come with them soon disappear ... all this sounds wonderful and should mean I am sailing through and on my way to a successful, smoke free life ... yeah right ... how about the constant feeling of displacement? Do you know what I mean???

It started pretty much when all the physical withdrawals left and is with me constantly. I feel like I don't belong in my life properly now ... ok, I know I sound like a nutter!! I just don't seem to look forward to things with the same "joie de vive". I am 33 and smoked for 18 years so practically my whole adult life has revolved around smoking ... now there is all this empty space and, after lots of thought ... yes constant bloody thought, I thin kthe problem is the life 'reward' system is gone .... we rewarded ourselves pretty much 20+ times a day ... what now!!!! The weekends are particularly difficult and the evenings and now when I look forward to a night out there suddenly seems no point. I know that if I didn't have this ill-at-ease feeling all the time the quit would be a doddle ... is it normal, does it pass ... I just don't want to feel like this for too long ... I can't concentrate at work and it keeps bringing back bouts of my anxiety/low mood.

I live alone ... do you think it is easier when you have a partner? Giving up smoking has also made me re-evaluate my life and suddenly with all this extra time it is suprising how much you are actually lacking!!

I wish so much that this would just pass and I could get my life back ... however, it won't be life as I know it Jim!!

Thanks for the ear.

Jodi :p

19 Replies

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  • Morning everyone,

    I thought I would start a thread off as I am finding a particular withdrawal very difficult and I haven't really seen anyone else reporting on it on here and it is driving me CRAZYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

    I am at day 33 of my quit ... it will be 5 weeks on Tuesday (yes, it will, as I will make it to Tuesday without a doubt!). I don't want a ciggarette per say, most cravings seem to have gone for good, I don't really think about one after food ... which is truly amazing seems as all I do at the moment is eat lol!! I have had some pretty stressful events in the past week and the huge cravings that come with them soon disappear ... all this sounds wonderful and should mean I am sailing through and on my way to a successful, smoke free life ... yeah right ... how about the constant feeling of displacement? Do you know what I mean???

    It started pretty much when all the physical withdrawals left and is with me constantly. I feel like I don't belong in my life properly now ... ok, I know I sound like a nutter!! I just don't seem to look forward to things with the same "joie de vive". I am 33 and smoked for 18 years so practically my whole adult life has revolved around smoking ... now there is all this empty space and, after lots of thought ... yes constant bloody thought, I thin kthe problem is the life 'reward' system is gone .... we rewarded ourselves pretty much 20+ times a day ... what now!!!! The weekends are particularly difficult and the evenings and now when I look forward to a night out there suddenly seems no point. I know that if I didn't have this ill-at-ease feeling all the time the quit would be a doddle ... is it normal, does it pass ... I just don't want to feel like this for too long ... I can't concentrate at work and it keeps bringing back bouts of my anxiety/low mood.

    I live alone ... do you think it is easier when you have a partner? Giving up smoking has also made me re-evaluate my life and suddenly with all this extra time it is suprising how much you are actually lacking!!

    I wish so much that this would just pass and I could get my life back ... however, it won't be life as I know it Jim!!

    Thanks for the ear.

    Jodi :p

    hi Jodi

    I understand fully what you mean, i too live alone and did suffer sometimes the thought that oooh life wont be the same again , i cant go out enjoyong myself, i cant do this this anymore, am i the same person now that i am not a smoker anymore, will people especially friends like me because i am not smoking with them, sat there at nights on my own thinking this is depressing, watching tv programmes that i would enjoy with a cig and dont anymore.

    Truth is Jodi everyone will and have go through this for the past 20 or so years we have been addicted to a habit that ruled our lives ...... it will pass as you re-educate yourself to doing these things without a fag, going shopping, eating out, drinking, so******ing, watching tv , going to the shops all these things can be and enjoyed withput a ciggie, and most importantly you are still the same happy cheerful funny person you ever was, but this time you are all them without being a smoker.

    Jodi enjoy your life you are smoke free and heathly, you can laugh with your friends without a cig in your hands :)

  • Hi Jodi,

    Do you have physical feelings of being "connected". Sort of like a dream world? Your eyes and ears just don't seem to register together so you just float along during the day?

    If so have a natter with your GP. It is (as I understand it) a typical symptom of being stressed and needing a break. This is something during the tail end of '08.

  • I feel exactly the same way Jodi. I'm on day 27 - celebrating my first month tomorrow - but I've found I feel lost at times. It's as if I'm looking at my life from the outside but can't get inside it to actually live it. I've given up alcohol (and other substances) in the past so I know that this is just a phase. It will pass and you will feel that you are yourself again.

    Sue

  • Hi Jodi :D

    Well done you 33 days is great Big Hug yo're doing really well and you are sailing throgh except for that one little bug you have just now this feeling of displacemrnt and yes I know exactly what you mean

    Many of us have this but not many of us can put it into words and no you don't sound like a nutter at all but everything you feel right now is normal i promise I used to describe to myself sometimes [as like you I lived alone at that time] as if I was living the wrong life not mine at all I felt to a large degree how you feel now and I can tell you that yes it does pass it may take a while but it will go

    Remember that for a long time fags were our constant companions we took them everywhere we went there was no leaving them behind and now we have to learn to live without them does that make sense to you at all so in effect you have to relearn your life without this constant companion but you can do it of course and the more you live your life as it is now withi=out fags the easier it gets to do it but it takes a bit of practice as does anything new we learn just like learning to drive the more you do it the easier it gets

    So yes you will get your life back but as you say it won't be as you know it from before you quit

    IT WILL BE BETTER THAN THE LIFE YOU HAD AS YOU'LL HAVE MORE TIME FOR THE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO AND PLACES YOU WANT TO GO IN SHORT YOUR LIFE WILL BE MUCH BETTER THAN IT EVER WAS

    My life is 100% better than it was I now have what I call me time I do as I like when I like without having to feed that addiction

    Hope this helps you hun

    Love

    Marg xx

  • all i can really add to the above is that you have to walk with this quit before you can truly run with it, and at the moment, its natural for you to just want everything to be and feel normal again so that you are more comfortable. However it does take some constant work in these first months of a quit, and thankfully what you experience now, is not how it's always going to be.

    My quit settled down alot from 6 weeks onwards but there was also days and the odd week here or there which needed more work from me to get through them.

    Keep going, even if you do feel a little out of sync right now, things will improve.

  • Really quite a nice weekend ...

    Hi Guys ... Happy Sunday Evening,

    I just wanted to say how grateful I am for your kind replies yesterday. I really didn't see a way forward even though I so want to give up and never smoke again, just that feeling was so hard to deal with.

    Marg ... it really helps that you say alot of people feel this way but don't know how to put it inpt words because it really is hard to describe the feeling. However, I have actually had quite a nice weekend. I have keep busy walking the dog, changing rooms around, having wine with friends but somehow this weekend has been that little easier ... and that is probably down to the fact that there is light waiting for me at the end of the tunnel :)

    I am under no illusion that it will be all rosy from now on ... th eone thing I know with this quit is i cannot pre-empt it!! No day is the same ... I am just happy that I have had my first weekend that has been manageable.

    The help I have recieved here has been invaluable ... thanks for sharing

    Jodi

    xx:D

  • Morning everyone,

    I thought I would start a thread off as I am finding a particular withdrawal very difficult and I haven't really seen anyone else reporting on it on here and it is driving me CRAZYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

    I am at day 33 of my quit ... it will be 5 weeks on Tuesday (yes, it will, as I will make it to Tuesday without a doubt!). I don't want a ciggarette per say, most cravings seem to have gone for good, I don't really think about one after food ... which is truly amazing seems as all I do at the moment is eat lol!! I have had some pretty stressful events in the past week and the huge cravings that come with them soon disappear ... all this sounds wonderful and should mean I am sailing through and on my way to a successful, smoke free life ... yeah right ... how about the constant feeling of displacement? Do you know what I mean???

    It started pretty much when all the physical withdrawals left and is with me constantly. I feel like I don't belong in my life properly now ... ok, I know I sound like a nutter!! I just don't seem to look forward to things with the same "joie de vive". I am 33 and smoked for 18 years so practically my whole adult life has revolved around smoking ... now there is all this empty space and, after lots of thought ... yes constant bloody thought, I thin kthe problem is the life 'reward' system is gone .... we rewarded ourselves pretty much 20+ times a day ... what now!!!! The weekends are particularly difficult and the evenings and now when I look forward to a night out there suddenly seems no point. I know that if I didn't have this ill-at-ease feeling all the time the quit would be a doddle ... is it normal, does it pass ... I just don't want to feel like this for too long ... I can't concentrate at work and it keeps bringing back bouts of my anxiety/low mood.

    I live alone ... do you think it is easier when you have a partner? Giving up smoking has also made me re-evaluate my life and suddenly with all this extra time it is suprising how much you are actually lacking!!

    I wish so much that this would just pass and I could get my life back ... however, it won't be life as I know it Jim!!

    Thanks for the ear.

    Jodi :p

    Hi Jodi dont worry you are not alone, i am in exactly the same situation 30 here, been smoking for 12 years, i also live alone, and same been feeling anxious and low at times, and yes the weekends are tough.. i saw some movies in which smoking was central and than was talking to my cousin who smokes,, it sucks big time.. but the thing we need to keep in mind is this

    1. smoking now, and being ok.. and being sick most probably by 50

    2. not smoking now, feeling shitty for god knows how, and being ok at 50..

    Tough call, the problem i forsee is this,, we dont know how much internal damage has been done by smoking so its worth the risk of smoking.. the really small voice in mind says it aint worth it..

    dont know all i know is it is so difficult..feel down all the time

  • I will smile for you Ryan ..

    Hey Ryan,

    Looks like you are a few days behind me in your quit ... I feel down some days and ok others, last weekwas bloody awful ... yes just damn awful but the last few days have been ok, different but still enjoyable. You feel down all the time now but try and ride through it ... if you don't give it a try and listen to the peeps who say that we do come out the other side you will start again and always wonder if you could have made it. That's what keeps me going is wondering how it will really feel to beat this ... I was not sure what to do with myself until I wrote my post on Saturday and got some reassurance ... now we just have to ride it out.

    Keep posting ... make friends with me on here and Private message me whenever you liek .. also another quitter at your stage is Eddco .. sure he won't mind you making friends and us all helping each other ... it's tough but we can make it.

    xx ;)

  • Hey Ryan,

    Looks like you are a few days behind me in your quit ... I feel down some days and ok others, last weekwas bloody awful ... yes just damn awful but the last few days have been ok, different but still enjoyable. You feel down all the time now but try and ride through it ... if you don't give it a try and listen to the peeps who say that we do come out the other side you will start again and always wonder if you could have made it. That's what keeps me going is wondering how it will really feel to beat this ... I was not sure what to do with myself until I wrote my post on Saturday and got some reassurance ... now we just have to ride it out.

    Keep posting ... make friends with me on here and Private message me whenever you liek .. also another quitter at your stage is Eddco .. sure he won't mind you making friends and us all helping each other ... it's tough but we can make it.

    xx ;)

    Hi Jodi, thanks a lot, for that I kinda feel better now, yes I will stick at it,, lets see yeah thats a very interesting point you make,, how if it would feel really beating this freaking nicotine monster,, right thanks definitely lets keep in touch and yes I might check out Eddco, lets make this through together,, they say 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, we still have some hurdles, but after reading your reply i think i am ok, feel better there is you and others going through exactly the same, why dont we start a circle of people all at the same stage, and we can try to help each other through this when we get the worst craving?

  • Good Idea ...

    Hi Ryan,

    I am really glad that I have been able to help. I definitely agree that a group to support each other as we are all so close in our quit is a fab idea. I have actually joined the feb quitters on here but don't see why we can't start something further to support ourselves ... will see how we set things up on here and have a word with Eddco see if he is interested .. we can start with "the terrible trio" ... sounds apt as we are going through the terrible threes together!!

    I think this site is invaluable ... all the support we need is found on here. i have sent a friend request to you.

    Try and get an early night ... rest helps at the moment ... sleep through it as much as you can and it will pass quicker .. thats my philosphy anyway!! I do find I am tired alot at the mo but I think we need to realise that we are fighting a battle everyday so we will feel a little tired and tender.

    Glad you are gonna keep on going ;)

  • good idea this Jodi....im in!!!

  • Jodi - Day 44 here and I TOTALLY understand what you mean. I don't want to smoke ever again but I just can't seem to look forward to stuff in the same way as before. I'm saying things to myself like "Oh there's a night out with the girls in March - wicked!" and then another voice in my head just says "BUT you can't smoke".

    I'm just trusting that this stops. Well clearly it does because every long term non smoker I know isn't suffering it.

    None of us would have believed we could have stopped for this long and we have, so the "lost" feeling will pass in the same way.

    I blo*dy well hope!

  • I can't tell you how much better I feel reading your posts and realising that I'm not having a nervous breakdown and that my feelings are pretty normal, by the sounds of things. This site really is invaluable - I just wish you were all here to talk to!

    I don't want a cig, but I really do! I really miss it. I miss my garden. I miss that feeling of relaxation. I miss my quite times, my thinking times, my excuse to get some 'me' time. I've swapped that for the gym. I'm trying to be healthy, but I'm eating everything in site to try to get some comfort - subconsciously at the time, but afterwards I feel pathetic. I wasn't even hungry! Now I've put on loads of weight and I feel even more miserable.

    I'm in mourning and I don't know why. I'm hideous to be around. I'm not normally a snappy, irritable person. I don't like being like this, but I can't stop it! ...but I really don't want to kill my body off by smoking. AAaaarrrrgggg!! I thought getting over the nicotine was the end of it!! How wrong was I!

    I'm here because I googled mouring cigarettes. Thanks for being here. I'm so relieved someone understands.

    x

    p.s. I gave up on 14th January. I had a big slip up a couple of days later, but not since. I haven't had any nicotine replacement for over a week now. By the book I'm doing well....why don't I feel like I am?

  • Jodi - Day 44 here and I TOTALLY understand what you mean. I don't want to smoke ever again but I just can't seem to look forward to stuff in the same way as before. I'm saying things to myself like "Oh there's a night out with the girls in March - wicked!" and then another voice in my head just says "BUT you can't smoke".

    I'm just trusting that this stops. Well clearly it does because every long term non smoker I know isn't suffering it.

    None of us would have believed we could have stopped for this long and we have, so the "lost" feeling will pass in the same way.

    I blo*dy well hope!

    Hi Polster,

    This really does seem to be a common theme - do you think more so if you are cold turkey? It appears that way ... or it just hits quicker? I guess it is learning to understand our quit. Although it is not something I would wish on anyone I am glad to know that others are/have experienced this as it does appear to have lifted my spirits abit as I can see an end to it eventually (they better not be bloody lying!!!).

    I have a trip to London this week and a day at the races next month so I have plenty to look forward to ... just have to get in the right mindset .. or give myself a slap!!

    I have set up a group as discussed earlier in this thread and have sent you an invite ... would love if you could join as we all seem to be hitting the same kind of issues.

    Keep thinking positive and if you do find the girls night out difficult .. just arrange another one for April when you will undoubtedly be feeling on top of the world!!!

    Well done you on 44 days ... that is AMAZING!!! I reach my 5th week achieved tomorrow woo woo!!

    Jodi:p

  • Grief...just a thought.

    My dad died a few years ago, and I distinctly remember the stages of grief that seemed so strange, for example the agitation and anger. It is natural to grieve after any sort of loss, and although I didn’t think smoking would count as a ‘loss’ in this respect at all, I’m coming to the conclusion that it does – because of this emotional rollercoaster ride I am experiencing and from what some of you have also been saying. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone, but I’ve found the following about grief after death, which I’ve taken some words out of obviously, but it’s nice to know that these feelings and emotions are normal, and that it will get better after we’ve travelled through the stages. Hang on in there!!

    Grieving (taken from rcpsych.ac.uk)

    We grieve after any sort of loss. It is not just one feeling, but a whole succession of feelings, which take a while to get through and which cannot be hurried.

    In the first few hours or days most people feel simply stunned, as though they cannot believe it has actually happened.

    Soon though, this numbness disappears and may be replaced by a dreadful sense of agitation, of pining or yearning. This makes it difficult to relax or concentrate and it may be difficult to sleep properly.

    Some people feel that they 'see' their loved one everywhere they go - in the street, the park, around the house, anywhere they had spent time together. People often feel very angry at this time.

    This state of agitation is usually strongest at about two weeks, but is soon followed by times of quiet sadness or depression, withdrawal and silence. These sudden changes of emotion can be confusing to friends or relatives, but are part of the normal process of grief.

    Although the agitation lessens, the periods of depression become more frequent and reach their peak between four and six weeks later. Spasms of grief can occur at any time, sparked off by people, places or things that bring back memories.

    Other people may find it difficult to understand. At this stage it may be tempting to keep away from other people who do not fully understand or share the grief. However, avoiding others can store up trouble for the future.

    As time passes, the fierce pain of early bereavement begins to fade. The depression lessens and it is possible to think about other things and even to look again to the future. However, the sense of having lost a part of oneself never goes away entirely.

    These various stages of mourning often overlap and show themselves in different ways in different people. The final phase of grieving is a letting-go and the start of a new sort of life. The depression clears completely, sleep improves and energy returns to normal.

    Having said all this, there is no 'standard' way of grieving. We are all individuals and have our own particular ways of grieving.

    Ref.:

    Pitt, B., 2009. Bereavement. London: The Royal College of Psychiatrists. [Online]. Available from: rcpsych.ac.uk

  • My dad died a few years ago, and I distinctly remember the stages of grief that seemed so strange, for example the agitation and anger. It is natural to grieve after any sort of loss, and although I didn’t think smoking would count as a ‘loss’ in this respect at all, I’m coming to the conclusion that it does – because of this emotional rollercoaster ride I am experiencing and from what some of you have also been saying. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone, but I’ve found the following about grief after death, which I’ve taken some words out of obviously, but it’s nice to know that these feelings and emotions are normal, and that it will get better after we’ve travelled through the stages. Hang on in there!!

    Grieving (taken from rcpsych.ac.uk)

    We grieve after any sort of loss. It is not just one feeling, but a whole succession of feelings, which take a while to get through and which cannot be hurried.

    In the first few hours or days most people feel simply stunned, as though they cannot believe it has actually happened.

    Soon though, this numbness disappears and may be replaced by a dreadful sense of agitation, of pining or yearning. This makes it difficult to relax or concentrate and it may be difficult to sleep properly.

    Some people feel that they 'see' their loved one everywhere they go - in the street, the park, around the house, anywhere they had spent time together. People often feel very angry at this time.

    This state of agitation is usually strongest at about two weeks, but is soon followed by times of quiet sadness or depression, withdrawal and silence. These sudden changes of emotion can be confusing to friends or relatives, but are part of the normal process of grief.

    Although the agitation lessens, the periods of depression become more frequent and reach their peak between four and six weeks later. Spasms of grief can occur at any time, sparked off by people, places or things that bring back memories.

    Other people may find it difficult to understand. At this stage it may be tempting to keep away from other people who do not fully understand or share the grief. However, avoiding others can store up trouble for the future.

    As time passes, the fierce pain of early bereavement begins to fade. The depression lessens and it is possible to think about other things and even to look again to the future. However, the sense of having lost a part of oneself never goes away entirely.

    These various stages of mourning often overlap and show themselves in different ways in different people. The final phase of grieving is a letting-go and the start of a new sort of life. The depression clears completely, sleep improves and energy returns to normal.

    Having said all this, there is no 'standard' way of grieving. We are all individuals and have our own particular ways of grieving.

    Ref.:

    Pitt, B., 2009. Bereavement. London: The Royal College of Psychiatrists. [Online]. Available from: rcpsych.ac.uk

    Hey Downiewown,

    Nice to meet you! this is fantastic and really does put things in to perspective ... how strange but it really does appear that we are experiencing grief and mourning as though we have lost a person .. then again we have in a way lost a person ... our old self .. I gues we need to grieve to make way for the better self that is emerging. THis truly is a strange journey but also quite a special one as slowly a little more freedom seems to slip in.

    I am sorry you feel so crappy ... I have spent the last 4 an half weeks feeling bloody awful but then our bodies and minds are going through one hell of a change and we must be kind to ourselves and eat what and when we want ... something to worry about at a later date!! I have got to the point where somedays my appetite is more or less back to normal but on other days I think about the extra layer and i am kind of proud of it in a way coz it is my protective layer I achieved by looking after myself and qitting something terrible.

    Post often and keep happy ... Any questions feel free to ask. Anytime you feel that grief you are welcome to drop me a line and we can try and cheer each other up!! This forum has soo much support ... you will be spoilt for choice.

    I'm sorry by the way about your Dad.

    Jodi :p

  • Hi Jodi :)

    Thanks for your lovely message :) I was worried I was going to offend someone by posting that, but I'm so relieved that you've understood it. It is a strange journey, huh. I just wasn't expecting to feel like this at all, but you know this seems like a really great support forum, which I really do appreciate!!!

    I've got a question hun maybe you could answer? I saw a post from someone advertising e-cigarettes. Are e-cigarettes not a good aid? The people replying didn't seem to think so. Have I missed out on something here? I only heard about them a couple of weeks ago!

    Thanks again for your message. Hey, do you know what - I know my Dad would be really happy that I've stopped smoking. I've promised him I would - and now I have!

    We should rise up from this gloom and doom ...and enjoy a glass of wine without standing outside freezing to death having to have a fag with it!!! Yippee!! ;)

    x

  • Hi Polster,

    This really does seem to be a common theme - do you think more so if you are cold turkey? It appears that way ... or it just hits quicker? I guess it is learning to understand our quit. Although it is not something I would wish on anyone I am glad to know that others are/have experienced this as it does appear to have lifted my spirits abit as I can see an end to it eventually (they better not be bloody lying!!!).

    I have a trip to London this week and a day at the races next month so I have plenty to look forward to ... just have to get in the right mindset .. or give myself a slap!!

    I have set up a group as discussed earlier in this thread and have sent you an invite ... would love if you could join as we all seem to be hitting the same kind of issues.

    Keep thinking positive and if you do find the girls night out difficult .. just arrange another one for April when you will undoubtedly be feeling on top of the world!!!

    Well done you on 44 days ... that is AMAZING!!! I reach my 5th week achieved tomorrow woo woo!!

    Jodi:p

    Hi Jodi - thanks for Turkey invite, I've joined!

    I think with cold turkey the feelings are more intense but over quicker. At the end of the day nicotine is the drug we're kicking, not smoking. We only smoke to get to the nicotine. So to keep taking nicotine made no sense to me. But I respect everyone's individual methods.

    WhyQuit is brilliant for understanding the quit. That's why I've done so well on this quit, know your enemy!

    whyquit.com/

    This article about anger explains why our heads our such a mess, shocking to read. I thought so...

    whyquit.com/joel/Joel_04_14...

    I do understand completely what you are saying about that feeling of ... well it's hard to explain... it's a void almost, where nothing is quite as exciting as before? It definately passes. It must do. It's just another confidence trick. Surely!

    (Hope you win at the races. If not, you've saved loads from not smoking so it's a break even I guess!)

  • I can't tell you how much better I feel reading your posts and realising that I'm not having a nervous breakdown and that my feelings are pretty normal, by the sounds of things. This site really is invaluable - I just wish you were all here to talk to!

    I don't want a cig, but I really do! I really miss it. I miss my garden. I miss that feeling of relaxation. I miss my quite times, my thinking times, my excuse to get some 'me' time. I've swapped that for the gym. I'm trying to be healthy, but I'm eating everything in site to try to get some comfort - subconsciously at the time, but afterwards I feel pathetic. I wasn't even hungry! Now I've put on loads of weight and I feel even more miserable.

    I'm in mourning and I don't know why. I'm hideous to be around. I'm not normally a snappy, irritable person. I don't like being like this, but I can't stop it! ...but I really don't want to kill my body off by smoking. AAaaarrrrgggg!! I thought getting over the nicotine was the end of it!! How wrong was I!

    I'm here because I googled mouring cigarettes. Thanks for being here. I'm so relieved someone understands.

    x

    p.s. I gave up on 14th January. I had a big slip up a couple of days later, but not since. I haven't had any nicotine replacement for over a week now. By the book I'm doing well....why don't I feel like I am?

    Hi there,

    You will feel like your doing well soon...next week may seem like forever away at the moment for you...but it will arrive...and the more time passes the better you will feel. But you must maintain the belief your doing well (because you are) even though you may not feel it today. Your mourning bit struck a chord with me...I was having similar thoughts not too long ago, this is what I posted...

    This time last week I felt absolutely great...then woke up and felt like I got run over by a steam train, its been rather horrible all the way through the past 6/7 days to be honest. Tired, anxious, depressed, unable to sleep, irritable and angry with the world! Strangely enough with a subconscious feeling of loneliness!

    Anyways I can feel myself coming out at the other end now! Still tiny ups and downs on the emotions front but on the whole on the up! And focussed enough to realise the loneliness sensation is in regards to me no longer being "best friends" with cigarettes and coming to terms with they can never be my "friend" again!

    Quite obvious really, they were with me for over 11 years, through the good times and bad...they have always been there! ALWAYS! When I felt bad they made me feel "better". When I was sad they "cheered me up". When I was stressed they "calmed me down". When I was happy they "celebrated with me"!

    All deceitful lies in hindsight...but an addicts mind has no concept of these lies...only truth!

    Anyway, Now they're gone! My best friend will never come back ( i hope), my crutch during tough times in life will no longer be there, my pal who keeps me entertained whilst bored has disappeared! and my mind reacted in the only way it knew how...a kind of mourning period I guess? I'm no psychologist but it makes so much sense really.

    I hope you find that helpful, it sounds similar to how you're feeling by what I read? And if it does reflect how your feeling, be assured it does pass! :)

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