My anxiety is thru the roof today, well, this afternoon at least. I feel neither inclined nor tempted to smoke because of it, but still totally totally pee’d off at it.
I’ve suffered with panic and anxiety before and I knew it may well rear it’s ugly head when I gave up smoking- in fact I would have given up sooner had it not been for worry about kicking this all back off again. I know really, that anxiety doesn’t hurt me, but it still feels awful. I also know every hint and tip under the sun to deal with it- but I don’t want to have to deal with it again, I don’t want it to spiral into panic attacks and not being able to go out, I don’t want to end up back on medication, or unable to get round a supermarket without my husband – I don’t want to have to summon the energy it takes to battle with it again- I’d rather have last weeks raging headaches and wanting to kill people back.
I know at the end of the day I will just get on and deal with- but god I don’t want to- I also don’t want to be feeling quite as sorry for myself as I am right now. OK, moan over, sorry.