I have had some really sad news today, and I am feeling really weepy and down. There is nothing I can do and I have sent my love to the people concerned. I am going out tonight with friends it has been planned for a long time (birthday celebrations) we have sorted out babysitters and booked tables and taxis. One of the people going out tonight is an occassional smoker. When I drink (which I will be doing tonight) I sometimes get emotional and though I don't want a fag right now I am afraid that when I go out tonight the Pinot will lower my defences, I will get all weepy again and decide that a fag will help.
I know the standard advice, don't drink too much etc etc, and trust me there is no way I want to throw the last 5 months away, just feeling low.