I'm not good

Hi all, it's not often you get a negitive effect from me but just now I'm feeling very negitive. I didn't say anything but I have had three very bad days, today has been the worst.

I have this feeling of being in a different life and to get back to my real life I need to go back to smoking again. I am wishing my life away I want it to be 6 months, a year from now so I don't have this feeling any more.

I go and l lie on the couch and go to sleep just to get away from it, I don't want to be sleeping.

I'm now on 45 days and I feel like I want to give in just to get myself at peace. I did not think after all this time I would feel like this, it's like being at the start again.

I was doing fine I was coming on here and trying to give advice to others until Friday when I started to feel this. Even feeling like this I have been trying to give positive advice to others.

Who else has felt like this at this stage and what did you do.

Jack :confused:

41 Replies

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  • Hi Jack, sorry to hear you are feeling down. Many of us had to go through a period of readjustment, it is a different life now. Try to rejoice in the new life, remember how the fags did nothing for you. You are the same person you just smell better and look better, and are richer and you are no longer killing yourself etc etc

    Do some serious reading, I will try and find some relevent posts for you.

    This will pass and you will be a stronger person for it, remember all your reasons for quitting, they are still as real. Let's face it you know you have to stop, and you do not want to do the last 45 days again.

    Keep posting, keep reading.

    Sending the PMA in a huge truck. :D

  • Hi Jack

    Sorry to hear your on a down at the moment and the 'start again and it'll be alright' thoughts are going through our mind..... I know you know these are only passing thoughts, but they do get pretty dam tiring. Also, the fact that these can seemingly spring from no where after a good run of time can still surprise.

    I found a lot of Month 2 a complete 'female dog' and just carried on pushing through the bad times. Good fun positive distractions helps but just knowing this was the norm for some folk around this time helped.... I knew I'd get through it.... but waiting to get through it made me moody, impatient, grouchy.... a lot of the bad traits I have anyway.... just magnified.

    Add the general ups and downs of a quit to the winter blues and the carp that sometimes life throws at us anyway and you've got this.

    Just keep it going Jack.... one step, two steps forward..... head down and you'll find this episode of 'bleurgh' soon passes too.

    And, good for you in still keeping with the supportive pots when feeling like this. I'm pretty sure that will help this mood pass a little quicker too :cool:

    Pol x

  • Hi Jack

    I havent felt like it this time but I gave up 24 years ago for 11 months and how you explain it was how i felt after about 13 weeks and it lasted few days and if you wonder how I can remember so clearly was because unlike you I had a cig and believe

    me that one cig made me feel dizzy and SH** so try and tell yourself this will pass and it will

    The reason I started again after the eleven months was my Hubby left me and starting smoking was actually the worst thing I could have done but there you are its taken all that time and a health scare to make me stop for good I had a friend come round last night who is a heavy smoker and she had 2 cigs in 2 hours and she stunk and so did my room after and you know what I felt quite smug that I didnt want on even then

    I see you post quite often and encourage others to stay quit so here a shoulder to lean on and hugs to help you stay a quitter

    I’m really glad that you’ve quit

    Cause in the past you’ve smoked some sh**

    Smelly Hair Hands and Breath

    Shorter Life but longer Death

    Up the hills you’ve got no puff

    Smokers cough that makes you rough

    So pass each day without the weed

    Cause only then will you succeed

    So Bravo to all that now don’t smoke

    Cause early Death is sure no Joke

  • It WILL Pass...

    Hi Jack, Sorry to hear u feel so down at the moment... Dont let it get to you, ride the storm.. I remember feeling like that around build up to 3 months and was really down about it.... I would keep busy, clean the house, go to gym, then go for a run, then bed.... and it still didnt pass. It was horrible so I defro understand where your coming from.... I like u wanted to start smoking again just to stop the horrible feelings, but knew I would hate myself even more for throwing away all what I had done...Try keeping busy and remember the reasons why u gave up smoking and keep reminding yourself...

    Stay strong Jack, U will get passed this stage, promise u and it will be well worth it. You have had more good days then bad, and trust me I was definately the other way round, and I am on 10 months now......

    U CAN DO THIS....... Big Hugs from Kaz x x :p

  • Hi Jack,

    I'm so sorry to hear how bad you are feeling. I just wanted to say that you have been an absolute inspiration to me, and still are. The messages of support you have given to me have been absolutely priceless and I am forever grateful to you.

    I spoke with my cousin today who has been quit 8 years, and still yet she has to be aware that she is an addict as very occasionally she'll be gripped by that mad notion that smoking a cigarette would be a nice thing to do.

    It's rare and it passes but it does happen. I guess she also made me realise that quitting is not an overnight thing, it's a life-long thing.

    I really wish you all the strength in the world, you are a gem of a guy Jack, you help others so much and I hope you realise just how much your care and support is helping.

    I'll be getting back on the horse soon and will be calling on you for a leg up when I need one, so this is me attempting to do the same for you.

    Virtual hug for you:)

    Jenni x

  • Jack,

    Likewise I also empathise with what you are going through, man. It's a bind and not a rare issue either. The days that you are currently on can be very testing times and give your resolve a severe beating up. You are bigger than it. There is loads of advice that you can utilise to help you weather this particular storm. One thing is you are defo doing the right thing by posting rather than the alternative.

    Keep doing that and reading. Keep supporting others too...eventually the sound advice will stick in your head. This will help you to bed in the right messages in your head. Afterall, you are changing your mindset dramatically...and that's not the easiest thing in the world.

    Being an 'oldie' I can guarantee that things will get better for you...as time goes by. And it's not really a long time in the grand scheme of things. But I assure you most people get to it.

    Keep on keepin' on :)

    Cav

  • You guys bring tears to my eyes, what more can I say, I have been trying so hard. It could be partly due to my life at the moment not being the same as you probably know I haven't been able to work much recently.

    Bev as usual you are a god send. Pol well the supports always there and Jamangie thanks. It must have been very difficult for you not to smoke when your husband leaves you. Not that it would happen but if my wife was to leave I would more than likely start smoking again.

    Even although I feel like this, it would take something like that to make me smoke again. But having said that right now it would be so easy to take the easy way out, I won't.

    Pol I'm owe you a message I'll try tonight

    Love you all Jack xx

  • *passes Jack a tissue* :)

    No rush with the message....... in the next hour will be fine thanks;)

    Remember, no matter the length there is light at the end of the tunnel

    mybroadband.co.za/photos/da...

  • *passes Jack a tissue* :)

    No rush with the message....... in the next hour will be fine thanks;)

    Remember, no matter the length there is light at the end of the tunnel

    mybroadband.co.za/photos/da...

    I will return to the computer when I stop laughing.

    Jack

  • ...Not sure where this came from

    Dick Dale (the father of surf guitar) rides his horse through the desert in the buff when he needs to clear his mind and get writing.

    Maybe head for a little walk...by wear shoes!

    If you've not tried it already, get The Easy Way audio book and give it a go, costs about £8. I know I keep going on about it but I honestly feel it has been a great GREAT help with my own journey.

    I felt rubbish on day 2, rolled up on the sofa and listened to all 6 hours of it; I've not looked back since.

    Mart

  • Kaz, Jenni and Cav, as you can see I had to leave the computer for a few minutes.

    You know if I was stopping smoking and was all alone I dought if I would be still stopped. My wife who has never smoked has been very supportive and understanding as has my daughter. My son has smoked and sensibly stopped a few months ago can understand what I'm going through.

    Fortunately I am not all alone because I have all of you and you all definately know what I'm going through.

    Kaz and Cav your wisdom helps to know you have already experienced this and Jenni you telling me that I have helped you means the world to me and makes me feel I have some wisdom.

    Don't give in and you will find a way.

    Thanks, thanks and thanks,

    Jack :)

  • Easy way...

    Jack, I have both Easy Way books, the orginal & How to Stay Stopped Permanently, I will gladly post them to you if u like..... Anything to help u, they helped me... Just let me know, Kaz x ;)

  • Dick Dale (the father of surf guitar) rides his horse through the desert in the buff when he needs to clear his mind and get writing.

    Maybe head for a little walk...by wear shoes!

    If you've not tried it already, get The Easy Way audio book and give it a go, costs about £8. I know I keep going on about it but I honestly feel it has been a great GREAT help with my own journey.

    I felt rubbish on day 2, rolled up on the sofa and listened to all 6 hours of it; I've not looked back since.

    Mart

    Ah ha! now we have a name Mart. My friend you're allways there or there about. If I don't feel better by tomorrow night I will do that. I promise you all one thing before I will smoke again I will

    jump off a rainbow or throw myself in front of a fast moving pram cos I don't have a bl**dy horse

  • Here's a link to Allan Carr's* Scandal too, which is available as a free download.

    *Author of the Easyway series

  • I got it from iTunes by the way

  • Jack, I have both Easy Way books, the orginal & How to Stay Stopped Permanently, I will gladly post them to you if u like..... Anything to help u, they helped me... Just let me know, Kaz x ;)

    Thanks Kaz I will attempt a private message.

    Jack xx

  • I know this has been highlighted before, but I still find it amazing.

    talesfromthequit.com/you-co...

  • Bless your heart Jack, you are a bright star in an otherwise dull sky!

    Keep fighting the good fight.

    Jenni xx

  • Jack,

    I wholly empathise with how you are feeling and what you are going through right now, I went through similar around october to november last year and yeah i figured sleeping through it was the way out.. it wasn't.. it was just avoiding it.

    I cannot emphasise enough the words 'stick with it'. You have the power to endure this rough patch, its just you feel a little weakened in your resolve right now. I found it quite incredible when i felt that way as i'd gone from 'oozing positivity and determination' to suddenly feeling empty.. without drive or purpose and generally.. well.. struggling.

    So what changed things? Well I think first realising that feeling this way 'can' be quite common as some points during a quit.. and not only that, to a certain extent.. the season. Its pretty grey and dull at the moment, we've had a pretty cold winter and no more true than up there in scotland.. but we do have spring about to arrive.. and with that, some of the most beautiful sights you can see in the year. With that comes some sunshine too.. much needed sunshine and with that vitimin D.. notice how folk always seem more friendly when its sunny?

    Stay positive.

    However things may seem right now, consider that in the wake of nicotine cessation is a period of re-adjustment and this takes its toll on both your body and mind.. and you feel a little beaten up by it all.

    It passes, you strengthen, you breathe a sigh of relief which is then replaced by a renewed positivity again, and you will feel so much better for it.

    Just keep believing in 'the best is yet to be' and always believe in yourself, even when the nicodemon makes you doubt for even a split second.

    hang in there m8y.

    Jase

  • I know this has been highlighted before, but I still find it amazing.

    talesfromthequit.com/you-co...

    I shall read this again. I'm still feeling c**p but I'm feeling more positive again.

    That road is correct it's the same road we all have to walk and it's true that the ones ahead can tell you how beautiful it is but it's also a nice feeling to be able to tell others coming behind you what it's like where you are.

    I think maybe I'd forgotten the words I like to use "no thanks I don't smoke"

    Thanks for everything guys and girls.

    Jack xx

  • I'm overwhelmed thanks for that Jase you are correct. I have had a s***Y winter so far in that I have lost around £3,000 in earnings I work for myself so it can never be replaced. There is also I have not been out much through not working. Not being able to get the car to the house and every time I did get out I had to walk over half a mile in yuk conditions to get home or back out to the car.

    Maybe once I can get working again normally it may get better we start to see the sun shine again and the snow disappear.

    Jenni thanks, I did not realise we were so close. Has your snow gone yet or like us it's just getting there?

    Jack :):)

  • Well jack, crappy winter or not fella, you are not going to sit and wallow in it now are you? Chin up fella. Spring n summer are nearly here.. the daylight hours will start getting longer which will mean more lessons you can fit in too, and you can recover at least some of the lost earnings through that.

    No more moping.. the tough ol' winter season is nearly over and us bears can finally come out of our caves again :)

    Things could be much worse, we could be Haitians at the moment, now they really do have it tough. we are so lucky here.

  • jack I have had a shite week too.... I think we are at same stop stage, my twinny Julie E is feeling the same. tears driving into work and not being able to focus. I am so behind with paper work and moving the project forward... hate it... even booked Monday off to escape from life... I do not want to smoke... I will not smoke.. but I want a cig boho

  • Hi Jack,

    I am so sorry to hear you are having a bad time. There are so many parts to beginning a new life without nicotine. We all have lots to learn.

    I find this web page very helpful. Dealing with depression, loss and anger are ways of dealing with a loss. However how we view our new life as a person who does not smoke and learning how to change the way we think about loss and gain can have wonderful results and are subjects that never can have enough time spent on them.

    ffn.yuku.com/forums/76

    Chin up and big hug, be kind to yourself today, you deserve it as you are a fantastic and very brave person who does not smoke!!!

  • So sorry Jack

    So sorry to hear you've been feeling like that Jack, as you say this awful weather and not being able to work doesn't help. But hang on a mo, what about the Income Tax you wont have to pay on those lost earnings? There is one positive to ponder? :)

    What a lot of lovely people they are on here Jack all trying to help out with support and kindness which you have shown to them and they would like to return to you. I think this thread demonstrates so well how this site works at its very best. I'm sure that helps to make you feel better about yourself too?

    Hopefully you will have a better day today Jack, I do hope so. Sending you lots of moral support, sympathy, understanding and hugs. My computer is poorly at the moment and the engineer is due soon so if I'm missing for a few days thats the problem. Will be back as soon as. :D

  • Eh Jack...soz 2 hear ur in a funk.......cheer up, spring almost here 4 u

    ....remember u will not feel any better if u smoke, probably a lot

    worse.

  • Being free is not easy

    Wish there was somewhere near me were they had meetings I am going to start one in leicestershire how many would turn up do you think?????

  • Have just read the link when stop crying will come back on lol

  • Hi everybody I can't answer every post individually as there are too many. You know it's surprising how many of you just want to help. I have seen names on this thread trying to help me whom I have never seen before and of course many I have (my friends). Vivienne my sweet twin I hope you get that computer sorted soon I need to talk to you about this room I mean table in the penthouse.

    One thing I promise all of you I will not smoke before coming on here to you guys first.

    Ah the good bit, I was working today the sun was shining and it reached an incredible 5%c for about one minute. The thing is for the first time it kind of felt normal to be at work and not smoke. I only hope this is the feelings to come.

    I am much better but I can't stay on here for long I'm having to go off aready but I hope to speak to you guys tomorrow again.

    I wish everyone everything wonderful :):):)

    Jack

  • Glad you had a better day today Jack

    Sorry to see you down yesterday Hun, hope you continue to feel better and at the risk of making Viv jealous I'm sending you a huge hug.

    xx

  • Hi Jack,

    Aaaarh Jack I've just read your post from yesterday and I'm sorry you were having a bad few days. You are doing so fantasticly well and you are Fantastic to me and others on here with all your posts of support and encouragement so it's our turn for you.

    I hope you are feeling better today.

    Big hug

    Shazie.x:)

  • Jack is great to everybody...that's 'cos Jack is great.

    JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT JACK IS GREAT

    Nuff said.

  • eeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr thanks lol

  • How's it going today?

    How you feeling today Jack?, more positive I hope. I have been worried about you........

    Shazie.x:)

  • Glad you had a better day today Jack

    Sorry to see you down yesterday Hun, hope you continue to feel better and at the risk of making Viv jealous I'm sending you a huge hug.

    xx

    Lorna please feel free we have to cheer up our Jack every which way we can and if hugs helps then its hugs he gets, come 'ere Jack!! ;)

  • Keep going...

    Hey Jack - I can't believe you've been feeling so bad and you've still found the time and inclination to be positive to others....

    Take a spoon of your own medicine... you give out such good vibes and you deserve to have some back..

    I'm not as far down the line as you, so I probably don't have the right to even say this - but you've got to keep the good work up, keep going... you don't want to have to do the last months again... it's not worth it for the want of a ciggie (something that will make you feel sick, dizzy and crap about yourself)

    It's your turn now for some encouraging words - so drink them up and feel stronger for them...:)

    Rachael x

  • Hi Jack,

    Yes we're not too far away and our snow is pretty much all gone now, just quite icy this morning. It made for more than a few "You've been framed" moments this morning for my friend and I, with 5 Siberian Huskies between us.....where's a sledge when you need one?!

    I really hope you are starting to feel better again. I'm back on my quit as of 11.30pm last night.:)

    Jenni xx

  • Hi Jack,

    Only just saw your post and am sorry you were feeling so down. Its hard road and some times I suppose like you say starting up again would be the easy way out...but its actually easier to keep going as you know deep down that those ciggies won't change a thing.

    I'm glad you're feeling a little better, and remember things that are worth something in life are never easy to obtain ;)

    Lindsay xxx

  • Wow!!!

    Yeh I come home from work tonight 6.30 ish, had my dinner, fish, rice, beans and of course my cup of tea. Mosy on over to the computer and shocked to see still more post on this thread. I will try to go through them if I can.

    Lorna thanks my love I'm sure Vivienne can put up with all these ladies hanging round me. She knows she is the only one but please don't tell her about us. The hug is cracefully accepted and you can have one back.

    Sharon (Shazie) thank you for your support we're here for each other. even when I'm down you can still have my support if you need it.

    Mart (Stav) it's not nuff said I'm quite happy for you to carry on for a while.

    Thanks my friend.

    Hey Jack my name sake, I think of that every time I think I want a cig. Would I take a teaspoon of poison and swallow it? I think not. thanks.

    Vivienne xxxxxxxxxxx ooooooooh that was nice do it again but don't tell anyone xxxxxxxxx.

    Rachael I find it helps to help others when you need help yourself and it's good to know that your help is appreciated as your help to me is.

    Jenni my love you have made me very happy to know you have started your quit again. Remember what I said if at first you don't succeed destroy all evidence of trying in the first place and try again. Have you really got 5 Siberian Huskies between you? if so pictures please. I would have loved to have been there this morning with a camera.

    And last but not least Lindsay, yes you are right anything that's worth having does not come easy but in this case costs nothing x.

    Okay how am I today? hmm I smoked 500 cigarettes in 5 minutes flat, ran 4 metres. stood on my hands, that hurt!! and played chicken with a toy road roller, it was fast or was me that was slow?

    Anyway I still feel this wanting not craving but second day at work only 4 lessons but slowly building. Hoping to do six tomorrow and really guys I'm feeling great. This is probably mostly due to knowing how many friends I have on here.

    I want to say a BIG WELL DONE!! to all of you for getting to where you are at now.

    Jack :(:):):D

  • jack ur a hunny... love all ur comments and support. me thinks ur adicted to this site lol far better than nasty dirty smelly, cancer sticks we used to put in our mouths....i keep this thought when feeling not so strong...

    who wants to subject their loved ones to this nasy pollution. I am guilt free now... yes I do get an odd memory of (it) and I bet al do

    looks like ur eating well and healthy.... this will keepu strong...

    as for u n Viv ... well what can I say. I met Viv a bit before you, once she met u she left me bohoooooo JOKEING lol

    you are both lovely people.

    bed for me now

    sleep well all on here

    nite John Boy hehe xxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Jack

    Think everything has been said really. But just wanted to say hope things are a little better today. I too had this feeling But it do go with time I think when you have been a long term smoker the mind had a lot to get used to. Stay strong mate they is an ending to this stage, Linda xxxxx

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