Me, my children and my health

When I quit last year I felt so strong and positive, and the 3/4 months of not smoking were the absolute best and I want to get back to that place.

I have two children one just in and another fast approaching teenage years, how can I dictate the perils of smoking when i'm doing it. They ask me what it tastes/feels like, and when I explain it tastes awful and doesnt really do anything other than stop me wanting one for a while, I know they think I am lying, because what would be the point in that? So I am concerned that they see me doing it, and think that there is some great mysterious pleasure in it because I am doing it.

The money saved is an obvious plus. During my last quit I put the money aside in a piggy bank, aptly named 'smokey bacon', and got great pleasure in treating myself at the end of the month.

The health issues and social stigma are the usual obvious ones. When I wasn't smoking I felt more 'normal'. Smoking makes me feel like a social outcast, sneaking out the back door for a smoke in the garden (i've never smoked indoors, so I even started with a social stigma attached to it).

My biggest obstacle, and my reason for failure last time, is when I'm on my own. I have to find ways to deal with these 'on my own' moments, because there are a lot of them, especially during the day.

So these are my intial reasons to quite, as I think on i'm sure there will be more. I want to be the person I became for a couple of months last year, cos she was great.

I'm spending the next couple of days arming myself with tools and weapons to succeed. I really liked the Nicodemon, can relate to that, and it makes me smile. Looking forward to posting my first message on Day 1. It will be soon.

9 Replies

  • I'm not too sure if you've listened to or read any of the Alan Carr Easy Way stuff. I'd personally recommend it. It's just (long winded) good ol' common sense; I feel it has helped me no end (I got the audio book of ITunes). I didn't plan stopping as it put the fear of God in me, I just stood in the garden one afternoon and said "that's it" when I put one out. I've not smoked in a week now and haven't had any significant cravings...just the odd 'I'd kinda fancy'.

    Good luck on your quest!

  • Hi Stav, have read the Alan Carr Easy Way, twice, stopped twice with it, was great for a week and then the craving got the better of me. Guess at that time I just didn't want it bad enough.

    I've read so many things about smoking that scare the hell out of me, and I can't believe that I go back to it, I think it's kind of a rebellious streak where if someone tells me I shouldn't do something, it makes me really want to do it.

    After quitting for a couple of months last year, I fell in to the trap that 'just one won't get me hooked'. How wrong is that, it made me feel I was being a bit sneaky and naughty (i'm a fairly sensible, no risk sort of person, so the sneaky and naughty feeling was quite a thrill). But of course, before I knew it, I had gone way past that thrill and was head first into addiction again. Of course I was disappointed, but was so sure I could control it to one a day, which increased to a couple, which increased to a couple more, etc. etc.

    So here I am again, better armed than before, but scared as hell, much more scared than before. I am determined though, because it's something I want really badly, for all the reasons given before.

    Congratulations with your quit. And please remember, there's no such thing as just one!

  • I did one of the Alan Carr sessions initially and that stopped me over night until I hit the "just one" trap 6 months or so in. I tried the book but couldn't get in to it (I'm not good at learning through reading). I wasn't feeling well on day two so I downloaded and listened to the audio book...can't fault that at the moment!

  • I'll get that audio book on itunes, got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Still working on my stop date, it will be soon, next couple of days, still feel a bit scared, but mixed with excitement too. I'll get the book tonight, maybe some wise words will make that decision for me.

    Well done on your quit (Mr Carr says we shouldnt call it that), well done on stopping.

    By the way, there is stop smoking program on itunes by Mak Kirsten (I think that's he's name), that has a 20 min. relaxation session, found that really good when I quit last time. (Feeling a bit stupid now, should have kept on listening to it).

    One BIG mistake I made, I got complacent, stopped chatting on this forum, stopped reading the literature, stopped listening to the tape, stopped congratulating myself on not smoking. Don't get complacent, never stop giving yourself a pat on the back for not smoking.

    Good luck.

  • Oh I also wanted to add it's a great thing you're doing this for your children. I don't have any kids (yet), but had an experience involving me my dad, a heart attack (caused by smoking) and a failed attempt at resuscitation. Doing everything you can not to expose your kids to that kind of experience is always going to be a winner!

  • Hi Lozza :)

    Well done for getting ready to restart your smoke free life

    While your post gives some good reasons namely your children you have to be a bit selfish with this you have to want it FOR YOU just for you

    I'm going to post you my standard welcome and advice post as a refresher so that until you're ready you can do some reading to get your mindset right

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathising with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off and Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    This link is good for the psychological part of quitting

    Post often to let us know how you're doing, to rant, rave have a moan whatever you like pretty much anything goes on here


    Marg xx

  • Thanks Margaret, of course you're right, in truth the only person who's really bothered about me smoking, is me. Doesn't affect the children, or anyone else for that matter (apart from hubby who's lost his evening smoking buddy). And the more I read, the more it bothers me, heck of a temptation to relay the information to my husband though, but he doesn't want to hear it, for obvious reasons. So I must read on............

  • Hi lozza,

    How's the smokefree life going?.... I can totally relate to the stopping smoking because of the children, I have an 8 year old daughter and she has been asking lots of questions about what am I doing smoking?,and smoking kills you and it really pull's at the heart strings and makes you think......However i was that addicted that I told her at the beginning of December that I had given up and she was really pleased, however i wasn't ready and I'm ashamed to admit that I became a secret smoker from my own daughter, even though each time I lit up I could hear here words saying "mummy please dont smoke".

    I agree that you do have to do it for yourself but I feel that with having children you have to keep everything that could hurt you at arms length and ensure that you live that little bit longer.

    I am coming upto my 7th day at 4pm this afternoon and I am so so pleased that i have achieved this. I wish you much continued success.

    Look forward to reading more post from you soon.

    Sharon x:)

  • Cheers Sharon, and well done you :D. Been there with the secret smoker thing, but I know how my husband smells when he comes in from outside having a smoke, what were we thinking of, secret?, I don't think so. Feel fairly good at the moment, quite relaxed. Still feel a bit freaked at not smoking again ever, but I guess that's addiction. And although I do very much want to do this for me, it is also about my girls, when you've got kids, most things you do are about them one way or another. Mine are 11 and 13, scary times with early teens and high school, really feel anything I can do as an example will help, and how will I ever smell it on them (god forbid) if i'm doing it myself. Got to get my senses fully alert, like one of those sniffer dogs! Keep up the good work, your week is done! :)

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