feeling bad

hmmm. Christmas brought the visit of my little bro and went and stayed with family down in cornwall and it was great but been back in london for 2 days and bumped back down to reality.

have been struggling to keep my drinking under control since quitting smoking and have asked for help from my doctor who has referred me to the alchol community centre in central london. I've been going for a month now.

man. im due there in a few hours. ahhh. not sure I can really face it. why is life so goddam hard sometimes.

hope all had a good christmas too. sorry, just had to get that off my chest.

gonna have a booze free january so hopefully will walk into 6 months on the first of febuary feeling strong and positive.

27 Replies

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  • Support

    Hi bman,

    Sorry you are feeling down today.

    You are doing so well, keep that appointment today, I am sure you will be glad you made the effort once you have been.

    I know how hard it is to keep going sometimes. it takes me all my strength just to get out of bed & face the day sometimes when really I just wannna stay curled up in bed.

    Keep strong, am right behind you.

    Love Gaynor xx

  • thanks gaynor - its good to know that im not alone throug all this, though it does feel like it a lot of the time.

    we do have to keep going. most days are alright but its hard work getting your life straight after so many years of just not caring or bothering.

    phhhh.....rrrshshhshhggggrrrr.... pull myself together I must (in voice of yoda!)

    here's a tune that always cheers me up

  • Hi Bman :)

    Sorry you're feeling down after Xmas spent with your family and now you're alone again I know how that feels and it's always worse after being with people for a while

    Glad your Doc has helped you with the drinking that has to be a bonus for you

    It'll soon be 6 months for you now and that's brilliant

    Hang on Bman you know it can only get better and better for you

    Love and a Hug

    Marg xx

  • thanks marg - i'm glad you know what it feels like. it makes me feel hopeful knowing that others have been where i am today and got though it.

    Christmas was always going to sway the status quo to a certain degree. Im very proud for not smoking. Im just holding on and trying to deal with all the change. Im looking forward to the 5 1/2, 6 month stage where alot of people say it is a bit of a turning point.

    im close now.

  • thanks marg - i'm glad you know what it feels like. it makes me feel hopeful knowing that others have been where i am today and got though it.

    Christmas was always going to sway the status quo to a certain degree. Im very proud for not smoking. Im just holding on and trying to deal with all the change. Im looking forward to the 5 1/2, 6 month stage where alot of people say it is a bit of a turning point.

    im close now.

    Hi Bman :D

    I'm glad I could help if only a little bit it does get I Promise or I for one wouldn't have done it

    The trouble is with being alone when you go away even for a few days it's really hard being alone again I didn't really get used to it but got to accept it now I have someone in my life again and it's great and one day so will you have someone

    Just hold on Bman you're doing really well this time and yes that 5/6 months really is a turning point and you're almost there now

    If you think I can help in any way you can always PM me I'm here on and off most days but not after about 5.30 any more except very occasionally

    Chin up and before you know it you'll be knocking at the penthouse door

    Love and a Hug

    Marg xx

  • Lovely message Marge :)

    G xxx

  • Hi Gaynor :D

    How are you, you seem more positive this time keep going and next year this time you'll have already knocked at the penthouse door :D

    Love and a Hug

    Margxx

  • Struggling a bit Marge, focusing on the slim, healthy image of me this time next year!

    G xx

  • Struggling a bit Marge, focusing on the slim, healthy image of me this time next year!

    G xx

    Hi Gaynor :D

    Sorry you're struggling a bit but keep that image in your head OK

    you can do this I did and so can you right

    Repeat after me and shout

    I CAN DO THIS SO THERE. I KNOW I CAN ,I KNOW I WILL

    That's what I did it worked for me and b............r what the neighbours think OK

    Love and a Hug

    Marg xx

  • Struggling a bit Marge, focusing on the slim, healthy image of me this time next year!

    G xx

    Hi Gaynor :D

    Sorry you're struggling a bit but keep that image in your head OK

    you can do this I did and so can you right

    Repeat after me and shout

    I CAN DO THIS SO THERE. I KNOW I CAN I KNOW I WILL

  • Struggling a bit Marge, focusing on the slim, healthy image of me this time next year!

    G xx

    Hi Gaynor :D

    Sorry you're struggling a bit but keep that image in your head OK

    you can do this I did and so can you right, repeat after me and shout it out

    I CAN DO THIS SO THERE. I KNOW I CAN, I KNOW I WILL

    OK now repeat as and when you need to that's what I did and it worked for me b....er what the neighbours might think :p:D

    Love and a Hug

    Marg xx

  • [QUOTE=bman;153354

    have been struggling to keep my drinking under control since quitting smoking and have asked for help from my doctor who has referred me to the alchol community centre in central london.

    That must be your priority bman. Get that drinking under control otherwise as sure as God made little green apples you'll be smoking again. What a bloody combination too. I'm rooting for you mate. You seem to be lucky in having a GP who'll try to help people with alcohol problems. David

  • Hello bman

    I've read some of your past posts and though I've not replied or posted to you before I have been in awe of your tackling both the smoking and the drinking........ a combination that fits together so well and therefore doubly impressive to maintain control over both.

    Hope your doc comes good with the help that gets you feeling on top of things and moving forward.

    How lovely to have spent the last few days in Cornwall though. Reality needs facing now, but reality can be pretty carp at times and I'm wishing you all the best for both demons.

    All the best

    Pol

  • thanks pol david marg -

    yep just got back from the centre and have a load of ideas to put into practice and ways to protect myself and keep from harms way. Facing the reality that I'm gonna have to find new ways to spend time with certain friends and avoid certain situations is going to be just like the early days of quitting smoking all over again.

    its scary at times, dealing with life full on. I can only express my gratitude to you for your kind words- They really do make the difference when your up against it in those tough moments.

  • Hi Bman :D

    Glad the centre gave you some ideas about coping [if that's the right word]

    yes it might be tough to start with but you can do it after all you bet the Nico:eek:Demons

    I know life is scary at times but you'll do it because you want to and that makes a lot of difference

    Any help I can give you're more than welcome to you know that and you know full well where to find me at least during the day

    Love and a Hug

    Marg xx

  • Facing the reality that I'm gonna have to find new ways to spend time with certain friends and avoid certain situations is going to be just like the early days of quitting smoking all over again. .

    Hey there,

    Sounds like you got on OK with the visit. I hope the coping mechanisms help out and keep you on track or on wobbly days, your eye and 'want' on the track. I'm sure there will be a lot of similarities with quit smoking and your experience of one will stand you in good stead with the other.

    All the best with that 180 on life your doing. The wheel may get slippy at times but hang on..... tight. :)

    Pol x

  • bman

    I have so much respect for you...knocking smoking out is hard enough without having to deal with anything else.

    The very best of luck to you and I hope you find the stength you need to get through this.

    big hug...xx

  • Hi Bman

    Omly just seen this thread mate. So very pleased you kept the appointment My thoughts are with you big time. i know how hard it is my eldest son has a problem with drink. But look on the good side it may make the quit (fag ) much easyer if your not drinking and your right the 6 months mark is a bit of a turning point and your almost there. Chin up there is light at the end of the tunnel. BIG HUGS.xxxxxx

  • Hi Bman

    I've not been on here for a looooooooooooonng time, but OH at a football match tonight, kids in respite care and I finally have peace....Anyhow, was catching up on some posts from people I remembered as being supportive and "normal" :eek: (not feeling the need to be seen as intelligent etc, etc ;)). You, of course, came across to me as one of these real good guys. You made a choice to quit smoking and now you've made a choice to quit the booze. Do you know what? You are one tough cookie. You do whatever you feel is right for yourself to help you succeed in your targets. But, no matter what routes you take to succeed, never forget your reasons for quitting the fags and booze. Take it easy and give yourself a big pat on the back from me for having such strength to take on two big battles. Never underestimate that strength. x

  • thanks guys - your support is great to read. I think I'm gonna call it a day and hopefully things will all seem brighter tomorrow. just feel exhausted.

    thanks again. its really helped me today :)

  • Good on you bman, for facing your demons head on.

    Have had to leave people alone for a while when I quit smoking, can now drink without worrying too much about my quit. But I will always be mindful when drinking because my inhibitions are so lowered, last night was scrabbling around for chewing gum (mint and wine - lovely combination!). Was speaking to my friend (non smoker) who i went to dinner with on day 2 of my quit, she was still laughing about how much of a space cadet I was. We've agreed to go back to the same restaurant on my one year quit.

    I know I'm gonna make it, I just need to remember to never take another puff and for me every now and again it means watching who I'm with and how much I'm drinking. It will be being p*ssed and thinking f*ck it that makes me loose this quit and it's been a hard journey and I'm still learning. Keep strong and don't test yoru quit too hard by making the demons job easy.

    Beautiful choon by the way.

  • Hey Bman, sorry i didn't see this before.

    That is pretty rough.

    I know i'm not an alcoholic, but i at times have drunk WAAAAY to excess....Bordering on real problem drinking i suppose.

    I can drink a bottle of wine easily at one sitting , even a bottle of vodka by myself. I went through a bit of a dark phase a few years ago where i think i was probably very depressed, and didn't really go out , so i was drinking mad quantities by myself at home alone, probably three or four nights a week which isn't too good of a thing to get into......The fags thing is very linked to booze for me. The bottle of whatever would be accompanied by about 40 fags and it was the combo i liked ....:eek: The fags were better with the booze and vice versa. I never drank in the daytime or even regularly it's just that i tend to binge and do it for some sort of high, which is probably wrong.

    I have finally mastered the art of drinking alcohol without smoking but it took LOOONG time, and i don't trust myself to have a lot to drink or i'd be smoking. Even started smoking again before a festy last year as knew couldn't drink and not smoke. Thought I wouldn't enjoy it unless i smoked.... a good thing really i can't drink as much as i don't want to take a slow path to the AA!

    I know a few alcoholics with serious problems and i don't want to end up like that, though i don't think alcohol is "MY DRUG" - I think i'd get addicted coke or something if i even tried it once, so that is never gonna happen.

    For what it's worth though, is alcohol something you rely on too much? Is it taking over? Do you do other stuff and can you enjoy so******ing without alcohol?

    I have been overdoing it a bit the past few weeks cos of it being christmas etc. and also feeling a little like i need something else because of not smoking....

    I suppose what i'm saying is "is it such a problem that you have to quit forever? Is it just because you're looking for a buzz to replace the nicotine or is it another addiction, cos best to give it up proper if so."

    Hope that makes sense......

    Sorry if i'm bein too nosey, feel free to ignore my impertinent q's- but can definitely relate to that on some level.

  • Meant to say good luck and i understand the bit about facing life head on and looking after yourself after years of not caring or bothering completely and utterly.

    But it feels so much better-I wanna feel good again naturally. It can be done! I got sick of feeling like shit-for years actually.

  • haha - that made me laugh about the space cadet thing MAH- i think we were all that space cadet at some point along the way. I wasnt really present at all somedays in the early quitting days. Isn't it great now to look back now and see how far youve come! I know its an inspiration to keep going when I see the vast differences in who I am and how i feel.

    hey jude,

    yeah your and mine drinking habits and (previously) smoking habits sound very similar. Ive had a rough few years (probably about 3/4 now) and there was some pretty destructive drinking and smoking happening though all of that. I am the same as you and never really drank in the day but just went crazy when work was finished. it catches up with you. Ive lost jobs from not being able to get up for work. I always thought that the smoking and drinking went hand in hand, and if I could crack the smoking, the drinking would sort itself out. Unfortunately about 2 or 3 months into quitting smoking, I realised that the opposite was happening. I was drinking more and more to make up for not smoking.

    I will get it under control. Maybe I do need to stop completely, but really my aim is to just be able to go out and have a few pints and a nice time like regular folk. Weather or not I can achieve that remains to be seen.

    Gonna have a month of the booze in January and then see how things feel after that. Ive never done that since I was a teenager, which is a scary realisation in itself.

    Here's to 2010 and getting everything back in balance.

    I think it is important whilst battling with all the other problems you realise are left when you quit smoking (weight gain, fitness, excessive drinking, bad diet etc etc etc) that we remember just how much of an amazing thing we are all achieving and to take it easy and slow on ourselves.

    Being kind to ourselves is important when we are doing such a big life changing task. I know for me its been an enormous challenge dealing with the psychological changes of not being a smoker. And for that i'm proud of myself and everyone on this board for getting through 2009 and dealing with that.

    well done guys - we are doing it, "come hell or high water" as the saying goes. :)

  • Bman, I've never lost a job through drinking but i have had times when not able to get up for 1pm to go to work ! A few times i've meant to be doing something and got soo wasted the night before i couldn't do the said thing, including ppls birthdays and last years xmas lunch! (Not good, It's at those times you have to question whether it's becoming a problem) - Going to work with a hangover is just the worst thing too. Haven't done that for a long time, so that's good.

    Hey Bman, I think I'm gonna try and join you on the month booze free (completely sick of the sight of it at the moment) - after tonight of course. So keep me informed how you doing. I think I'll find the bottle of wine after a particularly hard day at work a tough one. (Haven't obliterated a whole bottle of vod for a long time) But yeah If i have an alcohol problem then i want to know and i wanna do something about it before it's a bigger problem, actually think it might be hard and thats not something i ever would've thought....Thanks for making me think about this!

  • I think it is important whilst battling with all the other problems you realise are left when you quit smoking (weight gain, fitness, excessive drinking, bad diet etc etc etc) that we remember just how much of an amazing thing we are all achieving and to take it easy and slow on ourselves.

    Being kind to ourselves is important when we are doing such a big life changing task. I know for me its been an enormous challenge dealing with the psychological changes of not being a smoker. And for that i'm proud of myself and everyone on this board for getting through 2009 and dealing with that.

    well done guys - we are doing it, "come hell or high water" as the saying goes. :)

    That what you said there is just how it feels mate, you summed it up brilliantly.

    Best wishes for a happy new year!

  • Bman m8y,

    No idea if it will help but with regards drinking, and usually to excess, there is usually something that you heavily drink to mask over.. it could be there is a void where the smoking used to be which you now drink through instead.. it may even be that you have been drinking to help you deal with some of lifes own pressures. Look through the drinking itself, look for any root causes for the need to be drinking more than you would like to.. and deal with that on its own and in a smaller manageable chunk compared to the whole problem. If there is depression involved in this at all though, deal with the depression head on.

    I dealt with alcohol many years back following the death of my last grandparent, and being honest, one or 3 other recreational yet non-taxables too.. but you DO come through the other side of it. I've danced with the devil so many times i know the steps off-by-heart now.. i'm just glad i don't no more.

    Shoot me a whisper if you want bman.. don't be a stranger.

    J

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