i miss my fags like someone has broken my heart! i take a trip down memory lane everyday - remembering when me and my fag had a cup of tea. when me and my fag had a glass of wine and when me and my fag were dying for a break at work... its bloudy awful!
its been 2 months (cold turkey) helps that my partner stopped to0 and we have a grand saving of £130 per week - phheewww i can say it now - yip £130 per week!
i'd say i'm now around a stone heavier and have serious mirror issues (cant stand to see my dimples) who cares though - i've just added ten years onto my life and have never fancied my lipstick seeping into the creases on my lip - yukk!
The funny thing with fags is when you're smoking them and want to quit, you see it as one of the biggest achievements of your life. however once you've quit, its not that big! - hard to explain!
i'm not giving into it this time. why should i be tricked into spending all that cash on something that the tobacco lords have injected major chemicals into, in order to get me hooked? i don't bloudy well think so. i am bigger and better than that!
The past 2 months have been seriously difficult and tested our relationship to the limit. The rage in me even frightens me. i've felt confused, sad, upset, lonely, angry you name it - i've felt it! there are good days and bad days but you've just got to remember that you're addicted to the chemicals in the fags not the fags!
if i smoke one cigarette, i'll never quit again! thats what's keeping me going. i couldnt go through this horrible sense of loss and confusion again - so the only way is forward!
Everytime you pass a smoker in the street who is in mid coughing fit - think about that be you but your 65 or 70years old and rattling! yukk a doodle doo! no thanks