Day needed please

Hi Everyone,

This is to be my day 1 but already I am panicking about stopping & thinking of moving my day 1 to tomorrow. This is why I have had countless day 1's that haven't happened over the last 2 months since I failed a 3 month quit :(

I am back to square one again. Cannot breathe after even just walking up the stairs (I have COPD). My skin is dry again. My circulation is bad again (have had severe cramp over the last couple of weeks). I have no energy. There are countless other bad side effects obviuosly.

I was SO determined last time that I actually found it easy then I let a bad incident at work get to me.

I am feeling very down about ME in general at the moment & guess I am looking for the kick up the backside that will get me started on this path again. I know it has to come from me but sometimes someone can say something which you already know but in such a way it switches that light bulb on in your head. My head is in darkness at the moment.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Gaynor xx

30 Replies

  • Hi Gaynor

    Poor you, it sounds as though you dont know what to do. I sympathise with you as I kept putting my quit day off but in the end I had to say no more excuses I am quitting today and did. I know i am only on day 3 so have not the experience of the other forum members, but I have to give up for my health, I promised my cancer consultant I would not be smoking when I go back in November, and I wont be. How are you trying lots seem to have great success with champix, I just went cold turkey as champix made me feel really rough, patches gave me nightmares and decided I just had to do it.

    I hope this helps a bit.

  • Welcome back Gaynor

    Don't know if I have the right words, but from reading your post, you know you have to go for it. Why are you so nervous about day 1? We all know that the first few days are the worse but once you get over them it does get easier.

    I have a neighbour who has COPD and also had to stop smoking. She tells me that if she hadn't stopped, she wouldn't be here today! It's as simple as that. From your comments on how you are suffering, you're not living, your just existing and life's too short for that. Consider this a kick up the backside, I'm sure you'll get plenty more once everyone gets out of bed. LOL

    You can do this, you have done this before and we are all here for you.

    Sending you lots of PMA. :)

  • A quit is like a fine painting gaynor.. you start with a blank canvas, and those initial strokes you make with the brush can define the overall picture.

    With your quit, you have all this fear at the start, fear that you will fail being the most powerful feeling i guess. I found that for me at least i wanted to prove to myself that nicotine would not beat me.. i'd managed to give up other recreational's in the past with relative ease.. but nicotine? .. that one always challenged me the most, and i have tried to quit this a number of times, and with each time i've failed, yeah i've been gutted, yeah i've hated the fact that it beat me.. but its not stopped me trying to quit.. it can win a race sometimes, but i don't just run one race, i try to get even then beat it down more .. and thats where i am now, i'm ahead of the game at the moment... and this is where you will be too... you have to believe that you can do it though.. and you REALLY can.

    Stop thinking about the 'what if's that are trying to convince you not to stop, and start embracing the more positive thoughts surrounding being free of smoking. They are there, and taking your quit one day at a time and seeing every day as a wonderful acheivement is a great confidence booster. Its one day more than you had done yesterday, and then suddenly you hit a week.. you plod on with it, but never lose sight of your goal.. you never look back.. only forwards.. your eyes and mind are fixed on what you want to achieve, and all it takes is belief.


  • face your fears

    Hello Gaynor

    It might be helpful if you make a list of what it is you are afraid of. I think 'outing' your fears and anxieties (whether they are associated with smoking or not) is a good way to deal with them. You will likely find that they are not as big and scary as you think. Try to think rationally about each of them, and you will debunk them in no time. For example, maybe one of your fears is that you will not find life enjoyable with cigarettes. Really??? From what you've said, sounds like life if not very enjoyable right now. Another example might be that you will not feel in control. Again, we know this is completely the opposite -- cigarettes are in the driver's seat unless we tell them to hit the road. Etc, etc

    Hope this helps

    best wishes


  • Agree with the very good advice given above.

    Dont put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

  • Hi Gaynor :)

    Don't panic about day 1 you know you can do it and what to expect so maybe that's the problem today

    Take a few really deep breaths then do some reading click the links I know the weather isn't good but wrap up and take a brisk walk

    Anything at all just to get you through the day



  • Hi Gaynor how nice to hear from you. I try not to say too much about my health issues but when I hear your story I just cannot stop myself from saying to you - I have quite bad COPD and my dear if you don't stop it can quite quickly become very disabling indeed. I cannot climb a stairs, walk further than round my house or do any of the activities I did 2 years ago and I have been stopped for nearly a year, it shocked me how quickly I became ill. Now scare tactics did not work well for me but once I had stopped then it was different, now I see it although too late for me it is not for you.

    Preparing to stop is I found, much harder than actually doing it.

    I wonder about being honest whether it helps or not, I have no desire to scare folk but if you already have a diagnosis then honesty may help, I hope so.

    I send you loads of courage and love on your journey to freedom, you could give it a try but don't force yourself to have to do it forever, each one you don't smoke is a great help to your body.


  • Hey Gaynor-There isn't anything to be scared of:eek:....There are only good things ahead:D

    Think positive and keep focussed on all the good things coming. Don't do it with the idea you are giving up something- you are only giving up inhaling thousands of poisons .Your chest will clear up a lot soon. (I'm only in my early thirties, but already had signs of COPD , (I think -I was too scared to go to the doc's to find out! A doc told me at 25 i'd already done damage, but i didn't listen.) My chest is so much clearer and breathing is so much easier.I don't wheeze, and when i'm lying down I don't suddenly have to get up with a choking and not being able to breathe. I can run for a bus, and i could never run before.(Looking back on this, I don't know why i did this to myself for so long, 40 times a day)

    It's weird what addiction does to you, and how you feel you need this chemical. You don't, you were born without it, enjoyed life without it, and you can again.

    I think you're another lapser like me and one thing that has been helping me lately is reading a lot about addiction in general.Also Junkie thinking is big one for me as i always try to convince myself i can have just one (despite continued proof to the contrary!)

    Also try and have as healthy a diet as you possibly can and take multivits, it really does help.

    But above all, don't be scared (that's just the addiction talking)

  • Just a general link about addiction

    Cos we're addicted to a drug, so it helps to understand what addiction does in the brain

  • Just a general link about addiction

    Cos we're addicted to a drug, so it helps to understand what addiction does in the brain

  • Try reading Allen Carr's book. It has really helped me. What everyone has said about addiction is true. You need to see it for what it is, and realise your dealing with addiction when it rear's it's evil head. Somehow that has helped me. Hang in can live your life without smoking!!!

  • Wow, your mention of COPD and then Jackie's post really gave me a start.

    I'd not heard of COPD, though obviously I'd heard of the various problems that together, made COPD.

    Jackie, thank you for your honesty - for me, honesty of this sort can only help anyone wondering, like I was, what COPD was.

    Sobering indeed, but if it helps with the old 'head in the sand' syndrome then bring on more honesty.

    Gaynor, I hope you've managed to begin your quit today, if not, then start the day after today which is better than another attempt on another 'tomorrow'.

    Remember, it's for you and all your smoke free tomorrows to come


  • A big warm welcome back from me, Gaynor :) You've done this and you can do it again...... take a deep breath and try to look past the panic........ can you see how wonderful it will be to not be controlled by the fags? How your body will recover quickly and how much calmer you will be? The first few days may be hard but look at the opportunity to gain back control of your life! Glad to have you back xxx

  • Go for it!

    Hi Gaynor,

    I just felt that you need someone to say...'We all's part of life'

    Don't beat yourself up about not being perfect...who is?

    Whatever the outcome, you will have won if you just put it out there to try again.

    That, in itself, is a victory.

    Every time you try you will have missed smoking a cigarette you would otherwise have smoked and that's all GOOD!

    I'm sure you can do it. If you managed three months, you can do better this time.

    And all these folks are right...thinking about it is FAR worse than doing it!

    All the best.


  • Hey Gaynor

    Just wanted to say well done for coming on here and posting your fears thats hard to do for starters.

    Hope you decide this is your day one, you will be so glad tomorrow that you made today your first day, it's an addiction so dont be so sore on yourself and try not to put too much pressure on yourself, i do that too and it only makes it harder, just take one day at a time and youl be so proud of yourself and see the health benefits a little every day and that will spur you on even more... All the best of luck in the world to you and everyone else on here.

    Keep coming on here and reading the people are so fantastic and the advice is great and it really does pass the hours especially when the urge for the evil sticks comes on.

    Elaine xxx

  • Hi Gaynor,

    Glad to see you back - never give up on giving up. You've done so well before, and you can again. But nobody can do it for you - everyone can give you a big boot up the jacksie - it's still you that has to do the hard yards. And when you do, you will also start to feel so much better about yourself too.

    Keep strong, you know you can do this.


  • Just been reading up more about COPD. I'm definitely gonna keep it up now. I had all those symptoms from my late twenties and i totally ignored it, as you do, and carried on smoking 40 a day.... :eek:

    Jackie can yours get better? Is it any better for not smoking at all ? Sorry if I'm asking to many questions.Don't answer if you don't want to.

    Chrissie, no, sadly, I have not killed my evil boss. I reported him for his numerous evil wrongdoings, and he has NOT been sacked! He is still there! (How? defrauding the company is obviously ok then, bullying and trying to employ all his friends ) Really long story, and don't want to hijack the thread with my tales of woe, but am off work as it is too hideous to contemplate going back at the mo,unless i want to be driven mad for a minimum wage b*****d employer. Could take it to a tribunal, but don't know if can cope with more stress tbh. :(

  • Thanks to everyone


    Thank you all so much for your replies, suggestions & support.

    I did manage to start my day 1 after that & am currently on 19 hours LOL.

    When I have had the grrrrrrrrr, want a fag feeling I am telling myself I DON'T want a fag it's MY ADDICTION that wants feeding. That is helping me get over the craves at the moment.

    Jackie hun, I didn't realise your COPD was as advanced. For me I need to hear or see the consequences of what we are doing to ourselves (or were!) It's the reality of what could happen if we don't stop doing this to ourselves. I often wish I had the ability to see inside my body so I could see exactly what I was doing to it that should be enough to scare me into the diet, stopping smoking, drinking less coffee etc I kepp promosing but don't do.

    Sorry all rambling now :rolleyes:

    Thanks to you all again. A good smoke free day to all of us.

    Gaynor xx

  • Hi Gaynor :D

    You can see what you're doing to your body in the many links in signatures I know it's not your body but it does show the damage we all do to our bodies and it's enough to scare you Promise


    Marg xx

  • Hi Gaynor :D

    You can see what you're doing to your body in the many links in signatures I know it's not your body but it does show the damage we all do to our bodies and it's enough to scare you Promise


    Marg xx

    Your right Marge. I need to revisit them I think ;)

    Gaynor xx

  • Chin up Gaynor

    Hi Gaynor , you are not alone .....most people crack and give in at some point especially in the first few months of the quit. I personally have stopped smoking several times before "this quit" but for me this is the one as I know too well the feeling that you are going through when I "dropped my guard".

    It is like falling off a bike , pick yourself up and get back on again smile at Mr temptation for getting one over you but know in your own mind that you can get your own back on him and beat this habit.

    You can count on this site for support ....WE are here to help and you should take comfort in the fact that at least you are trying! , have a big fat hug :)

    Best Wishes Trev .

    Quit 28th April 2009

    3 months patches

    3 months C.T:cool:

  • Well done Gaynor - go for it YOU CAN DO IT!!

    Be strong and keep telling yourself that you can do it and that you won't let it beat you.

    I am only early in to my quit (day 5) but that is what I keep telling myself and sometimes out loud (people must think I'm going mad)

    Keep posting and reading posts - I find this forum helps so much.


    Take care

    Tinkerbell xx

  • Thanks Guys & Girls,

    Still here and feeling proud of myself, this is the longest I have gone for months LOL.

    Good signs, good signs. :D

    Gaynor xx

  • Keep going, you CAN do it!

    Hi Gaynor

    I just wanted to say please keep going, you are doing great :)

    I've had several relapses in trying to give up over the last few weeks, but am determined to do it! Tomorrow is another day !

  • Hi Jude

    You asked if I will get better and the answer is no. I thought long and hard about posting that reply as to how people would see it, today I think if someone has already stopped they may take it on board, this would mean I could be glad I told the story and something good come from it. Not all of us are going to get the horror stories but some of us sure will and I guess it's a bit of a lottery who will and who won't.

    Best wishes to all you who are starting on your journey the early days are so important as they cement your quit. Don't look for bad things see your quit as a great adventure, use the literature and the people here to get you over any hurdles you come up against.


  • Hi Jude

    You asked if I will get better and the answer is no. I thought long and hard about posting that reply as to how people would see it, today I think if someone has already stopped they may take it on board, this would mean I could be glad I told the story and something good come from it. Not all of us are going to get the horror stories but some of us sure will and I guess it's a bit of a lottery who will and who won't.

    Best wishes to all you who are starting on your journey the early days are so important as they cement your quit. Don't look for bad things see your quit as a great adventure, use the literature and the people here to get you over any hurdles you come up against.


    Just wanted to support Jackie on this one. I was told it will never get better but If I stopped smoking the degeneration would slow down but the damage was done. Unfortunately this is one of the sad realities of smoking & as Jackie said can we really risk playing that particular lottery game.

    Love Gaynor xxx

  • Thanks for the support.

    Love Jackie x

  • Hi Gaynor

    Welcome home hunnie and well done sorry I never seen this earlyer you must be on day 2 now babes. You go for it everything starts with the first step. Good to have you back.xxxxxx

  • I'm sorry Jackie and Gaynor, that you are dealing with this , thanks for speaking about it. It's definitely given me something to think on (I have weak moments)

    I agree you always think it won't happen to you though.

    My ex bf had testicular cancer about 10 tears ago (He's fine now) and had to have chemo. In the ward where he was, was a guy with lung cancer, and I remember he had to wear a Hannibal Lecter type mask which was really scary, and could hardly talk. He was trying to tell his Grandson to stop smoking, and me, while i was visiting but i don't think his grandson listened, and i didn't either:( When you're in your teens or twenties, it just seems like it's so far away, and not going to affect you.

    Good luck with you quits everyone.

  • This was posted awhile ago and its been said in this thread already but I think this posting is very direct and to the point and has helped me a bunch. If you come to terms with smoking and the reasons why you do it, this should help you and then nothing can stop ya.

    Originally Posted by CatWoman View Post

    Before you fall off the wagon and nip off to buy the fags you have convinced yourself you NEED ... please read the following first, hopefully it will change your mind, such a shame to lose a quit just because your mind is in the wrong place at the moment.

    JUNKIE THINKING: One puff wont hurt.

    RESPONSE: One puff will always hurt me, and it always will because I’m not a social smoker. One puff and I’ll be smoking compulsively again.

    JUNKIE THINKING: I only want one.

    RESPONSE:I have never only wanted one. In fact, I want 20-30 a day, every day. I want them all.

    JUNKIE THINKING: ll just be a social smoker.

    RESPONSE: Im a chronic, compulsive smoker, and once I smoke one Ill quickly be thinking about the next one.

    JUNKIE THINKING: Im doing so well, one wont hurt me now

    RESPONSE: The only reason Im doing so well is because I havent taken the first one. Yet once I do, I wont be doing well anymore. Ill be smoking again.

    JUNKIE THINKING: ll just stop again.

    RESPONSE: Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time. And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when Im back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that Ill ever be able to stop again?

    JUNKIE THINKING: If I slip, Ill keep trying.

    RESPONSE: If I think I can get away with one little slip now Ill think I can get away with another little slip later on.

    JUNKIE THINKING: I need one to get me through this withdrawal.

    RESPONSE: Smoking will not get me through the discomfort of not smoking. It will only get me back to smoking. One puff stops the process of withdrawal and Ill have to go through it all over again.

    JUNKIE THINKING: I miss smoking right now.

    RESPONSE: Of course I miss something Ive been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the chest pain right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? Id rather be an ex-smoker with an occasional desire to smoke, than a smoker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

    JUNKIE THINKING: I really need to smoke now, Im so upset.

    RESPONSE: Smoking is not going to fix anything. Ill still be upset, Ill just be an upset smoker. I never have to have a cigarette. Smoking is not a need; its a want. Once the crisis is over, Ill be relieved and grateful Im still not smoking.

    JUNKIE THINKING: I dont care.

    RESPONSE: What is it exactly that I think that I dont care about? Can I truthfully say I dont care about chest pain? I donât care about gagging in the morning? I dont care about lung cancer? No, I care about these things very much. Thats why I stopped smoking in the first place.

    JUNKIE THINKING: What difference does it make, anyway?

    RESPONSE: It makes a difference in the way I breathe, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.

    JUNKIE THINKING: "I'm bored"

    RESPONSE: Smoking is an "activity" or "something to do" only for smokers. I'm really not "doing" anything when I smoke except still sitting/standing there. The rest of the world survives occasional boredom quite well without inhaling life-challenging chemicals.

    JUNKIE THINKING: "But they've been smoking on TV and in the movies for years! There are even magazines devoted to tobacco products!

    RESPONSE: That's right. They were on TV for years, I wasn't. I'm still alive; many of them aren't and they departed this vale of tears in prolonged and painful ways. And the smiling faces in the magazines now are risking painful and disfiguring surgery later, at which point they won't be smiling at all.

    JUNKIE THINKING: "Its so nice to go out for a 'breath of fresh air' and a cigarette."

    RESPONSE: Fresh air? I've got to be kidding. And face it, sunny days are one thing, but how many days do I huddle out in the rain with the rain hitting the cigarette and turning the cigarette paper that disgusting yellow color? How many times is it windy and it takes forever to keep a match or lighter lit long enough to light the cigarette, and then how often does a gust of wind come up and blow the ashes into my eyes?

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