Day 2 - I've failed

Well I was doing so well, but caved in this morning and bought a packet of 10 and have smoked 2, what a failure.

I feel terrible, the husband has called me asking how I am and how I am doing so well, he is so proud of me, obviously he doesn't know I've already had the relapse.

I might as well forget it this time round and start afresh on Monday. I don't know why I did it, I don't think I am committed enough. I feel terrible.

Anyone else had this problem.

D

20 Replies

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  • oh fudge:(

    ok so that is in the past now, and it is the future that matters, loads of people around here, including me, have been serial quitters, for me it was a matter of getting the head in the right place, so to speak:D

    have you read any Allan Carr?, read the links in the sigs, write down your reasons for quitting, this should all help you get yourself ready for your final quit.

    can't remember who but i remember reading "the only failure is the failure to try" or something along those lines.

    We are all here for you, and will help and support you all we can, chin up.

  • Hi D, I think it would help you to read some of the posts people have made on here, you will find lots of help especially in the quitting thread, reasons to stop etc which you can get from clicking on the Forum Jump, drop down list at the bottom of the page. You could also read lots about the addiction to nicotine in the websites in our signatures, it will help you to understand what is happening to you.

    Good luck.

    Jackie

  • Hi D :)

    Sorry to hear you caved but it's only a failure if you just carry on smoking for good

    If you try again it's just a relapse so pick yourself up dust yourself doen and come back as soon as you're ready we'll all be here for you Promise

    Love

    Marg

  • Oh MH your not a failure you just didnt succeed THIS TIME. But with determination and a few kind words hopefully you will next time. Keep strong and try again. Dont look at this as giving up, just get right back on the horse and try again.

    Jx

  • Where's the horse, i knew we were missing a penguin, but should i be looking for a horse as well?

  • I would say it was Bradders but he is on the missing list as well.

    O wonder if bradders and penguin are visiting Mr Murph sorry I mean Mrs Murph? :D

    Wish they would hurry up and come back though, HMS ships need the decks cleaning :)

  • Hi Madhatter,

    You ask if anyone else has had this problem... I'm sure you already know that many people try more than once before they succeed - and a quick trawl through some of the posts on this forum will prove that.

    But what you will also find is that people Do succeed as well. Get your mind right and you are well on the way. Read up on all you can, the better you know your addiction, the better equipped you are to beat it. If you have not already done so check out woofmang.com and whyquit.com both are excellent.

    Post often and let us know how you are getting on.

    Deke

  • Would it not be possible for you to not smoke any more, just get rid of the packet you have. This would only be a small blip in the big process that is giving up?

    Like Deke said, there are lots of people on this forum who have done what you have done, it doesnt make you any less of a person.

    :)

  • I had many purchases of packs of ten in previous attempted quits. Then would smoke one or two, then throw away.

    I would say that the first time I ever admitted this was on this forum. I came out as a secret smoker quitter, and i've never had a secret smoking, pack of ten urge since.

    I would say that you are very brave to have admitted it, chalk it up to experience and don't do yourself down over it. Try some tales from the quit stories for inspiration and remember, each day is a day you are choosing not to smoke. I found it easier to do it that way, rather than thinking I wasn't allowed to smoke. x

  • Thank you everyone for your kind words. I am in such a bad mood with myself all day and feeling a bit down. I was going to start afresh on Monday, or should I just, as you say throw the packet away now and continue, what do you guys think.

    If I am totally honest with myself, there is a big part of me that enjoys smoking, even though I know its not good for me. I am quite weezy and my mother died of smoking related illness so you would think that would be enough wouldn't you.

    My husband is an x-smoker, but he quit over 20 years ago. He hates me smoking, not because of the smell etc., but because of the health issues, he says he can hear my weazing when I'm asleep. I think the problem is I was giving it up for him and not for me. I feel like crying >>>>

    This afternoon when I was out for lunch I was looking at some people with ciggies and I thought how silly it looks and the addiction there is. The cigarette I had this morning I did not even enjoy, it did absolutely nothing for me, so why the hell did I do it and still want to do it.

    Sorry for harping on.

    D

  • Your not harping on, it doesnt matter why you decided to give up although it is a lot harder if you didnt really want to. I was the same it was OH that decided "we" were giving up and I really enjoyed it, although now that I am in day 18 I can already see that it was the best thing and in another few weeks I will be thanking OH not cursing him.

    If you havent had any more, I say just throw the rest away and carry on, its only a small blip. Have a good cry, it always worked for me in the first few days, I felt like I had lost my best friend but I no now they werent they just used me for as long as I allowed them.

    Tell hubby that you had a blip but your back on track and I am sure he will be just as supportive as he has been, get him to run you a bath n look after the kids whilst you have a good old soak, I found crying in the bath was the best! Have a cuddle on the sofa and watch some happy tv (if there is any?) laughter is also a good tonic thats why I spend so much time on here.

    Dont forget to keep posting on here, laugh, cry, scream or shout we are all here for you and when you get the urge find something else to do, I know its easier said than done, but I found saying to myself I would have one later, and fortunately later never came.

    Good luck and dont forget we are here for you :)

    Jx

  • Thank you everyone for your kind words. I am in such a bad mood with myself all day and feeling a bit down. I was going to start afresh on Monday, or should I just, as you say throw the packet away now and continue, what do you guys think.

    If I am totally honest with myself, there is a big part of me that enjoys smoking, even though I know its not good for me. I am quite weezy and my mother died of smoking related illness so you would think that would be enough wouldn't you.

    My husband is an x-smoker, but he quit over 20 years ago. He hates me smoking, not because of the smell etc., but because of the health issues, he says he can hear my weazing when I'm asleep. I think the problem is I was giving it up for him and not for me. I feel like crying >>>>

    This afternoon when I was out for lunch I was looking at some people with ciggies and I thought how silly it looks and the addiction there is. The cigarette I had this morning I did not even enjoy, it did absolutely nothing for me, so why the hell did I do it and still want to do it.

    Sorry for harping on.

    D

    Madhatter, you need to stop again when you're ready no-one else can make this decision for you. As Bev has said your head does need to be in the right place and then it does just work - not easily but your willpower will be there, You will probably feel slightly deranged for a while during the early days of your quit and you need to be ready for this and fight your way through it.

    Read read read - it will keep your going, give you an idea of what to expect - it is really hard but the sense of achievement is quite literally like no other.

    There's also the relief of no longer being addicted, no longer smelling like an ashtray, just back from a meeting and someone stank of smoke - you don't realise how bad you must smell until you've stopped. The money, no more stress when at the theatre, cinema, on a plane all that sh*t goes away. It's worth giving up smokin, do you really enjoy it or are you just addicted?

    Good luck

  • Throw those cigs away and jump right back on. we all have bumps in the road its how we handle that tells what kind of person we are. Good luck and don't stress it:)

  • stay on board,

    Hi Madhatter, stay with us, Its not like your on your own, you have hundreds of people on here thathave some thing in common with you. We all worshipped the fag at one point, come on and get back on board.

    I lost my mum in may this year to a smoking related desease, so we have something in common. Would not want to see anybody go through what she did. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Ok so you had a bit of a false start, that doesn't mean you won't leave them running blocks next time and do really well. Just regain some confidence in you, and add some more determination and try again. Get rid of them cigs out of the house though, give them to someone who smokes if you must.. but don't keep any around as a 'just in case'.

    Don't beat yourself up today though, come on now, you got to day 2 'this time', you'll do better next time.. you just will.

    Do read up on some of the tips in my signature and those listed in other folks too and i bet you find some things that help you along with your quitting process.

    Good luck for the next try.

    j

  • don't think i can add anything to all the above, but just to let you know we will support you if you contine your quit now or Monday or in a weeks time.

    maybe feel sorry for yourself for 24 hours and then kick yourself and jump right back in, whatever you decide is right for you, we will be here.

  • Hey, i keep giving up, lapsing and giving up again (personally wouldn't recommend this method though;) I must've given up about 250 times! but i don't see it as a failure cos i keep giving up again - it takes most ppl a good few tries, and me it must take quite a few)

    It's amazing when you have a little time away from the cigs -you do start to realise how you were addicted and that there was nothing to really "enjoy" as such , rather than the relief of nicotine withdrawal .

  • Wow, thanks so much guys for all your support and kind words.

    I met up with some friends last night so that made me feel better, and today feeling more up beat.

    I have decided to try again either on Sunday or Monday, but will not cave in this time. I'm going to do lots of reading over the weekend, and also see if I can dig out the Allen Carr book. I just need to get the mindset in the right place. I also have some relaxing Hypnosis CD and one for smoking, so I'm gonna list to those as well.

    You guys/gals are wonderful, and are giving me such support.

    I'll be back and will let you know how I'm getting on. I post on Day 1 thread once I've got going.

    Thanks guys.

    D

  • Good for you Madhatter.

    There's not a lot to add to what has been said already. Read all you can, the Allen Carr book is great, as are the various sites already mentioned.

    Smoking is a choice. If you choose not to do it, and keep making that choice, you will succeed.

    Go for it.

    Deke

  • I'm back

    Hi everyone I'm back, its Day 1 again, I haven't smoked since midnight last night and gave the remaining ciggies to husband to dispose of.

    I have a thread on Day 1 section, but just want to say thanks to all of you for your support last week.

    Onwards and upwards.

    I'm not feeling too bad at the moment, the cravings are coming and going.

    cheers guys.

    D

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