the dreams

[nsd_user663_4786]

i had my first smoking dream, all this time, all these quits and last night was my first one. v strange i was a secret smoker in the dream but just not hiding it v well, must admit just before i woke up i thought it's ok i will be able to smoke today and then give up again tomorrow, and then i woke and realised i hadn't had a cig for 4 days so i would not be smoking today, and i have to say i felt a bit dissapointed to start with but not now, now i feel great again, well not quite great (too early in the morning for that) but happy that i will never ever have to repeat the previous days.

have another busy day today, kids parties, in-laws coming, shopping to be done so hopefully i will not have too many bad thoughts.

i have to apologise, because at the moment all my posts are v boring and all about me, i just want to get to the 1 month stage again and then hopefully i can be witty and brief and concentrate on helping others again. thanks for reading and putting up with me complaining again.

I will not smoke today, i have smoked my last fag, my children need be to choose to live and i need to live a happy healthy life.

Good luck with the weekend everyone and enjoy it smoke free.

[nsd_user663_4177]

My day 4 too

Hi Bev my day 4 as well, you have done well if that is your first smoking dream I seem to have been dreaming about them for months right from my last quit. I am feeling a bit flat today not sure why but I wont smoke. You sound like you have a busy day ahead, I am about to start the ironing then got grandson or granddaughter coming this afternoon and stopping over night. So I guess I had better get myself organised but all I feel like doing it being a slob today prob this cold lol.

Have a happy smoke free day

[nsd_user663_4121]

Glad you're back, Bev..... you're sounding very strong and determined.... very good Hope today went well for you.

[nsd_user663_4786]

So nearly finished with day 4, thanks guys for all your support it sooo helps to know u r all there and pushing and pulling me along with you.

Chrissie i think this is the ONE as well, i just can't face going back and doing it all again, and somehow i feel different this time i can't put it in to words just feel like this is the last time.

It was really hard being a secret smoker for 2 weeks, i was always getting him to walk the dog, or i was going to get more milk (4 pints in the fridge) and now i don't have to we can sit together on the sofa without my thinking "what time will he go to bed so i can have another fag"

Life is so much easier without smoking, and so much fresher and cleaner.

Still quite sleepy a lot of the time but i can live with that.

Ok so i'm going to watch X factor with a bottle of wine and a quite large bar of chocolate.

Thanks again and hope everyone is having a great weekend.

[nsd_user663_5151]

Heya Bev v.big well done on the four day mile-stone It will be a week for me tomorrow.

I understand what you mean about the smoking dreams though - they really are crazy. Mine are calming down a bit now thankfully. Defo hang in there though - your doing fantastically well && take steps towards a better lifestyle in so many ways!

So keepp doin' what ya doin'

Caroline x

[nsd_user663_4786]

he knows

so OH now knows i'm day 4 again. that feels really good, don't have to lie anymore or make up stuff bout feeling ok when infact i'm feeling a bit sad, sleeping, angry or whatever.

he is wonderful it has to be said, v supportive and he is a non smoker, never smoker guy.

so here i am on my own, 2 bottles of white wine r now empty:eek: do i want a fag, do i think that havin a fag in my hand right now would make the night better, do i miss havin a fag with the white wine? yes i know u know the answer damn right i do.

However i choose not to smoke today, and i will choose not to smoke tomorrow because.........oh shit i forgot:confused:

yeh there we r 3 kids, Xmas, long life, yeh yeh yeh.

still when they invent that cig, that goes with white wine after 9pm, not adicitive, show me the queue.

sorry here i go again, ramble ramble etc etc

looking forward to day 5. wish me luck

[nsd_user663_4955]

Hi Bev

Glad your back and steaming ahead with your quit.

Bet it feels like a weight off your shoulders that your OH now knows the truth!

Ramble away, you know the routine on here. Look forward to reading your progress, you doing fab so far.

[nsd_user663_4990]

Hehe bev, i had 4 glasses of red last night, could hardly focus to type.. so i read your reply pretty much like i had typed mine last night.. takes ages to write a coherent post when you've had a few drinkies

Keep going me luvly! Give your kids their real mum back, and to do that, you just need to be true to this quit.. you don't want them mimicking you some day and starting the 'habit' just because mum does.. so teach them this final lesson and be there to advise them very strongly later in life if they ever think about it... perhaps from your own experience they will see its not worth ever trying.

Good luck.. we're right with ya!

J