week 3 - no stopping me now

:cool:

oh yes it is.

week 3. thats got a lovely ring to it.

off to see U2 360 tour at wembley today with a very old friend I havent seen in years as my little legend of a younger brother sent me some surprise tickets from NYC.

and the sun is a-shining. and wembley is now a non smoking venue even though its open air. ohhhh yeahhh.

:D:D:D

have a great weekend all.

big respect to all those quitting. its not easy but my god its gotta be worth it.

lets keep on doing this together.

43 Replies

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  • Hi Bman :D

    Great you're in week three well done you Big Hug

    Off to Wembley as well with an old friend have a lovely time

    The sun is indeed shining even here today ooppsssss spoke to soon just started raining arghhhhh

    Go Bman Go

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxxx

  • ooooooh nicely done.. and U2 tickets too.. live will be cool to see.. enjoy yourself on that.

    Mostly well done on getting on the 3rd week though, keep posting no matter what the days bring to you.

    j

  • Nice! I wish I had a younger brother like that! :D

    Well done, and enjoy!:D

  • Nice! I wish I had a younger brother like that! :D

    Well done, and enjoy!:D

    Me to, mine keeps disapearing of the face of the earth :(

    Have a great time Bman, you deserve it.

    Lets us know how it went :D

    Luvs ya. Gaynor xxx

  • Well done on getting to week 3 , hope you enjoyed your smoke free concert

    all the best

    Rab

  • day 16

    amazing!

    still smoke free - last night was haarrrdddd.. fffffffkkkkkk

    i sat infront of the girl i was with and watched her smoke 10 of the best infront of me.

    hard.

  • hard

    fkkk

    im finding this very very difficult.

    jesus.

    feeling like everyone i know is doubting me for being me. im also doubting me for being me. also doubting everyone else.

    everything feels very empty. and sh*t.

    fkkkk

    ...

    really. its gotta get better. and the horrible thing is about not smoking is you realise you gotta do it build it all up again on your own or even if it istnt on your own it still feels like it is in your brain.

    fkkkk.

    help.

  • You are doing so well....we are about at the same stage ......I have been so positive but I have started to notice a few doubts getting in .....I'm not gunna let them though....I am a non-smoker and so are you we can do it together ;)

  • Bman,

    All i can really offer you is my own experience of week 3. After week 2 i felt i'd endured as much as i was going to and looked towards week 3 as just another week, thought i'd breeze it.. and it hit me hard, just as you are finding now.

    All I really had was my sheer hard-faced way of facing up to what really I had created for myself after many years thinking nothing of sparking up. My own failure to give up in the past hardened me much, and i used all i could muster using determination to get me through these trying times.

    'No Pain, No Gain'

    I know its tough right now, but you must cling onto 'hope'.. you are not without hope, you are NOT a lost cause, you are fighting this thing, and its playing some horrible tricks on you this week, the emptiness you feel now will be replaced by a feeling of gaining so much much more back in the weeks to come.. and the doubt you have been tricked into feeling? the doubt is also an illusion, created by the addiction.. its having a bloody good go at shaking your defenses.. your mind and how you deal with this addiction is your strongest ally , the addiction is playing dirty mind games on you to make you crumble and you know what? You need to show him that these tricks won't work.. and if this was me going through this? Don't you think you'd be telling me this exact same thing?

    You would not be telling me to give into it thats for sure.. you'd be pushing me on, knowing that if i just hardened myself to these tricks that i would get through it.

    Well here you are, in your testing times during your quit... the 3rd week.. this is the trial many of us have been through, and can tell you 100% for sure, that the other side of it is MUCH .. so damn much better.

    Just toughen up again.. shields up.. arm phazers and photons, and lets do this!!

  • Hi Bman :)

    Sorry to hear you're finding so tough just now in your third week just hang in there

    Week three is notoriously hard for lots of us but you're nearly half way through it already

    You know this is those sneaky little b.......d Nico :eek: Demons trying desperately to lure you back you've been starving them now for over three weeks just carry on starving tham as you have been OK

    Next week will be so much easier for you to cope with and do you really want to have to do this all over again ?????

    No I thought not but if you give in now that's exactly what you'll have to do at some point and deep down you know this or you would have already given in to them

    Keep going you can do this YOU KNOW YOU CAN

    Sending you a big hug and positive thoughts

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxx

  • thanks all - you are right i can do this. we can all do this.

    thank you for the words of encouragement, they are really needed at the moment. feeling very angry and depressed and getting the doubts about being able to do this for the long term. you are all right and it is hard but ive just gotta keep on going.

    im just trying to ignore all the rubbish that im feeling. its really difficult but it has to be done. i know it will get easier. i just wish it woould hurry up!!!

    i think it feels like im really grieving the loss of my smoking relationship.

    very odd. i guess this is the point that ive pretty much always given in to in the past, so there is the fear of the unknown mixed in with all that as well and the pull to go back to what you know, where it is safe etc.

    but if you all say it gets easier and better than i guess i know that logically that must be true and i'll just have to have a bit of faith to get me there.

    thanks again for your support.

  • that is great advice - thanks chrissie - i will focus on doing that - i guess its natural to have doubts about anything sometimes.

    i tell you what this feels like actually. its like when you end a relationship with someone because you know you just have to. you know its hard to do but you have to move on and let go.

    you still miss them but you know that its the right thing to do.

  • "Dear Cigs,

    We've been friends a while and well, its been swell n all that, but you were killing me.. literally, so i don't wanna be friends no more as I really want my life back"

    Yep, i know exactly what you mean there bman, and all i can offer extra here now today is that you will be the last person this week to see the clear focus of the day because you are going through a shakey part of the quit.

    It does get better, i wouldn't promise that if I didn't believe it, and these moments you feel will get less and less, and nowhere as intense either.

    I think i get about 1 such 'moment' a week now.. on mondays, just after lunch but only if its been a stressy day.. so if you get to the same point and its just like i'm getting here now, you'll cope no problem.

    I've every confidence in you.

    Just keep soldiering on through this, you'll get there!!

  • Hi Bman,

    Sorry to hear that your struggling.

    Just remember that your pain is 1/100th that of a Heroin user, and that an Alcoholic can never ever have a single drink because he will be back on the booze, which is the same as us my friend.

    They are the thoughts I use at difficult times.

    Paul

  • day 18 - dont smoke near me!!

    morning all,

    day 18 now, and feeling ok. the last week has been a real emotional roller coaster but i think some of this is due to the fear of the unknown.

    i guess its the fear that ive never really known what adult life is like without smoking, and psychologically theres a lot going on to break the associations now.

    i had a load of dreams last night about getting angry with people just smoking around me and found it unbearable.

    i think the weekend was harder for me mentally than ive given justice too, with people offering me cigarettes and smoking right next to me at the gig and then my friend buying a ten pack and smoking those whilst we sat together for the rest of the evening.

    i dont really remember how long i gave up for in the past but im pretty sure it was no longer than this, it could have possibly been 20 days but I'm not sure so in reality i think i'm embarking on a new path here / now.

    like anything new and unfamiliar its exciting and a bit daunting. i dont wanna mess it up. i think there is a battle going on that i need to let settle between me not wanting to focus on giving up smoking all the time and give it more empasis than it needs but also to not take it for granted and get complacent. does anyone else know what i mean by that?

  • I understood that and could relate to it.

    The biggest battle you are fighting is with yourself anyway..

    <-------- The part of you that now wishes to stay quit smoking---> *YOU* < --- The part of you that is clinging on to the habit -->

    yet in a week or two weeks time?

    Your resolve will strengthen alot more than you realise because you gave this a chance to work, you will have fought off all those 'friends' who tried to tempt you back by offering you a cig, you will have a much brighter sense of well being, and a positivity you wish you could buy... yet all this just down to you sticking at this.

    You are so worth the effort you put in, you know you need to do it, and its only self doubt that you are conquering now. Keep going, be the most stubborn guy on the planet.. you have more to do of course, but nothing is impossible if you really put your mind to it.

    Just keep things in perspective fella, if you hit a truly rocky day, don't suffer it alone, share it. If i spot your posts, i'll always reply, as will others.

  • thanks jase - your a legend.

    the people offering me smokes werent friends they were some people (good people mind) that we met at the gig so it wasnt really thier fault, they were just being friendly. which was only polite after one of the girls burnt the skin on the back of my leg with her cigarette!

    i think this quitting smoking think is a massive lesson / test in resolve and agree with you that nothing is impossible.

    I can see what people say about quitting smoking being the kicking board to being able to achieve everything else. when i can look back and know ive conquered this my general level of self belief vs self doubt is gonna be drastically readressed i think.

    thanks for the continued support. how is it going your end?

  • Honestly? On my 6th week on this now, and i've not felt this good in ages. I get the odd rocky moment (yesterday i got one) but the rest of the time things seem to be really good.

    Time is a wonderful thing, i went through those early weeks like everyone else, and now i'm here where i am, see things alot clearer, feel much healthier already.. and I see people out in the street smoking all the time and not once have i felt a desire for one myself..... things are changing , and if i ever get any moments where i have a bit of a struggle on, i strip how i'm feeling down and throw reason at it and i usually find i'm fine.

    I keep in my mind constantly the thought of a sunkissed island, with me sat in a hammock.. drink in hand toasting being there with the money i would otherwise have spent on setting on fire. Its a sobering thought, and ohhhhhh i will be there one day watching that sun go down on a lovely lovely day :)

  • thats great to hear. must be very liberating now. starting to see the light at the end osf the tunnel a bit

    you should start a holiday fund with the money if you havent already. me and my mate that im quitting with have a deal that whoever folds first has to buy the other one a holiday, and considering how broke we both are (although substantially richer now quit) thats a hell of a motivation. i want that holiday! i too can quite easily picutre my self sat on that beach drink in hand knowing that its all been paid for by resilience, and sheer bloody mindedness to stick to what i know is the right thing to do.

    weve also got a deal that if niether of us has folded by 2010 well go snowboarding together with the money weve not spent on smoking. which would be far the better option as far as we are both concerned. its good to have goals i think. he's never been and ive not been in 14 years so it would be a great reward. not that i really need anymore rewards than the health rewards inherent anyway.

    still - bring on the snow!!!

  • Hi Bman :D

    I know exactly where you're coming from but you're on day 18 so almost the end of week three keep it going

    You're close to being as far far as you've ever been before don't stop now

    As Jase has said it gets easier for you the further on you go the easier it gets Promise

    You're having a battle with yourself because of new uncharted territory but believe me its a great place to be

    Love

    Marg xxxxx

  • My initial plan is a new car, my current one is rather in dire need of replacing, the holiday is more a long term goal, but the car is definitely a major thing i need to get now.. or.. i just get my current one fixed, but i keep seeing newer cars now which are far far nicer :)

    That snowboarding hol sounds good, and that pact you've made with your friend is a good idea but give each other support. yeah sure it would be nice to have a holiday bought for you, but i would much much rather have a friend quit smoking than enjoy a holiday at his expense. The thought of having to buy them a holiday is a good one though, just keep the support for each other there and its even better.

  • yeah - a new car or newer car would be a great reward. did you ever smoke in your car? if so it would be great to get one that no ones ever smoked in

  • Yeah and i'm almost ashamed to say, i smoked 3 on the way to work in a 25 mile journey... and 2 or 3 on the way home.

    My next car absolutely either must be:

    A) Never been smoked in 'ever'

    B) So well valeted that if i went over it with a fine tooth comb i would never know it had been.

    I have left the ashtray in my current car totally un-emptied too.. it serves as a daily reminder at the moment to me of what is possible if i don't put my mind to this quit... it works too :)

  • god im glad i dont have a car anymore - i used to go out for a drive just to smoke and listen to music and smoke some more and well you know the story :-)

    that will be a lovely reward if you can get one thats never been smoked in :)

  • Smoking in a car/van with a can of Redbull on my way to work, id get through 6 minimum on a run into London from Essex, 1-2 hours drive depending on traffic.

    I hope you guys do get your cars, but remember, they ae the biggest depreciating assets known, my last car thanks to tax policies depreciated from £12000 to £6000 in a little over 2 years.

    It only held its value because it had a built in Sat Nav, rare leather seats etc.

    Im now wondering if its worth buying older examples and turning them round quicker?

    Btw, the replacement car we brought, I did ask if no one had smoked in it, mainly due to the interiors being far nicer, and no fag holes.

    Also Bman, I did have a minor panic attack the other day when I though to myself "i'll never have another fag in my whole life".

  • ive always had old cars and got rid of them after a few years. the only problem with this is that you have to have two things.

    a) an honest mechanic (i know a paradox in itself!) or a good working knowlege of mechanics

    b) a good breakdown policy!

    you can pick up some good stuff at car auctions if your prepared to rough it with the dealers.

  • My current car is an N reg mondeo.. 1995.. i got it second hand around the year 2000.. had it for pretty much 9 years myself now.. good run for a car, particularly 2nd hand in my control :)

    Yeah a new car is definitely on my soon list.. more a case of need than want though.

  • yeah probably time - thats nearly 15 years old now - must have some miles on it if your doing 50 a day to work and back :)

    - its amazing when you drive a new car (rental experience only unfortunately for me) just how far they have come.

    even a little corsa or fiesta or something feels like a BMW these days!

  • day 20

    pleased to report that the first day off the champix went really well.

    went for a short run, my leg still isn't right so i didnt push it and walked back as soon as it started playing up.

    today and tomorrow then enter week 4!

    cant believe it. :D

  • Well done!! see how you go off the champix. Got to break the link at some point.

    As for your leg.. yeah don't push yourself too hard. Last thing you want is to be laid up just now with it worse. know your physical limits.

    Good luck for today/tomorrow and then you on your 4th week :) Keep it up m8y, tis not that bad really eh!

  • Hi Bman :D

    Day 20 and glad to hear your first day without the champix went well for you

    You're right not to push to hard with the leg though take it easy

    Almost through week 3 now keep it going onwards and upwards

    Love

    Marg xx

  • day 21 -

    these title posts are starting to sounds to me like the Geordie big brother commentator is reading them in my head.

    abosolutely nothing to report apart from the fact that i havent smoked. infact at some point i guess im gonna have to start thinking of myself as a non smoker.

    my quit partner was being an idiot last night and talking about how he might not quit forever and maybe one day would consider starting up again if he got really old or something and how festivals and being on the beach would not be the same without smoking.

    so basically thats not what i wanted to hear at all and tried to have it out with him that hes missing nothing but then it started to worry me that i might begin to think like this at some point. hes quit for 9 months before, and this is now officially the longest ive ever gone, so i guess theres some form of influence there.

    anyway im glad i have found this board. the education that i have got through reading all the information posted on here, on other sites reccomended from here and from peoples attitudes, i know that he hasnt really truey accepted that hes not missing anything.

    its got me thinking about it now though and part of me is thinking about that hit you use to get from nicotine and romanticising it - which i need to stop right away.

    hopefully this is just my body and minds last attempt at getting me to turn around before i walk though the doors of week 4 tomorrow.

    ineed to get back to that mind set that i had before hearing all that stupid stuff from my mate last night. i was strong as an ox now got stupid doubts.

    goddammmmmiitttt. :confused:

  • There is a clear indication from your friend there.

    He basically wants to smoke. While there is want there is desire. He is on very shakey ground.

    You on the other hand do not. You will go on to become a fully fledged successful non-smoker and your already most of the way there already. Just about everything you do, is possible without smoking, its not a necessity for folk to have fun.

    There is nothing whatsoever wrong with being a non-smoker or even an ex-smoker.. it beats the stuffing out of spending years of your life a slave to something you feel helpless to control.

    No. You beat this, and beat it good. you're doing well, and i suspect your friend is having a major severence problem with it.

    HE.. is listening to the demon and the demon is using persuasion on him.. tempting him..

    You ignore yours.. it can go get stuffed :)

  • Hi Bman :D

    Keep going you're doing so well now don't lose it and don't listen to what your friend is telling you about this

    There is no way that anything is better when you smoke trust me on this one but you already know this anyway

    I smoked for 50 years and can honestly say my life now is so much better I feel better, am healthier, can do more so many benefits have come by quitting

    I also have more fun than I used to as well life is so much easier for me now

    Listen as well to what Jase is saying to you you have the mindset and your mate doesn't unfortunately

    I hate to say this but I think your mate will give in which is a big pity having come this far

    You're on day 21 that's the hardest bit done now and now it really begins to get better all the time

    Read to strengthen you just now I know you've heard me and others say this many times before now but it will help you

    click any of the many links they're all helpful OK

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxx

  • You ARE however in a position to convince your friend otherwise.

    If he is struggling, these may be signs that he needs a bit of morale support while he is going through some awkward times.

    Sure a fully paid for holiday is a nice thought, but no-one wants to see a mate fail at something like this.

    Wait til you hit a very positive spot in your day and perhaps go give him a pep talk yeah? Sounds like he needs to hear the voice of reason than the voice of the demon right now.

    Might be a good thing to dig a holiday brochure out, flick through to the nice expensive holiday, and circle the most expensive date too.. lay it open flat on his desk and if you can't get him to listen to reason, at least get him to see that the holiday you've circled is what it will cost if he goes back on his word :) devious i know, but heck.. sometimes it takes a short sharp shock :)

  • thanks jase and marg -

    its true - i dont believe what he believes. I have my head where i want it to be.

    it just gives you unneccesary wobbles when you hear this stuff. we are all influenced by our friends and family but this is something that ive waited a long time to achieve.

    we were talking about it and came to the conclusion that the fact that ive never made it this far before quitting put me in a very different mindset to him who'd quit before and new he could quit again.

    I on the other hand am not so confident i could get to this point again and therefore its far more important to me that I never smoke again and that i am clear in my head that this is what i want.

    theres no situation where its ok for me to smoke. I cant quit again. this is it for me.

    i genuinely believe i can do this.

    i know thats probably the first of many times people will try and justify they its best for me not to quit "for ever" for some reason or another.

    still just got to be clear on the rules - as joel says in his videos - not one puff ever. NOPE.

    thanks for your continued suppport:)

  • thanks for your continued suppport:)

    always.

    I edited my previous post to put a devious holiday brochure idea in the last paragraph. It might work, depends if you can't convince him any other way :)

  • lol - i might just email him though this diving trip in the Galapagos islands that i have my eye on for two and a half grand each :D

    no you are right. i really want him to make this happen. just as much as for my self.

    we are real old buddies and have got each other through so many tough times.

    this needs to be the same. I think when he starts to see the money difference and we start doing active healthy stuff together when my injury has cleared up then things will start to look very different to him i think.

    I know he wont give in at the moment, hes too bloomin stubbon, and that gives me time to work on him and his deamons going forward.

    to be honest , were big lads now. and hes gotta want this for himself. Ive gotta want it for myself.

    if hes gonna smoke then thats ok, we all have the power of choice over our lives, my choice is that after 15 years of very heavy smoking, its time to move on and find something else good to do with all my time and money :rolleyes:

    i hope he wont but really as long as I focus on keeping myself in the right direction thats all that really matters. that will be support enough i think over time.

  • then just ask him the question...

    'Deal or no deal' :)

    No... not that one....

    'Do you want to stay free of nicotine?'

    if he seems at all hesitant, then he needs a helping hand. The demon is very persuasive, can fill you with dread if you listen, and can convince you back to feeding him again. Your positivity will pay off, but don't listen too long on your friend if he starts passing the same persuasion onto you, thats not him talking, thats his addiction.

    Help him but do not risk your own quit. You can only do so much. If the piece of wood floating by the titanic truly can only hold one person afloat, make sure your the one on it.. don't go down with the rest of the ship.

  • Hi Bman :D

    I am so pleased to hear that you have a genuine belief in you ability to do this keep that belief bright and strong

    Your mindset is right now just keep it right

    Help and support your mate as you have been maybe he was just trying to test you for whatever reason but at the end of the day it's your quit that's the most imprtant to you right now

    Keep strong and listen to what your mind is telling you right now OK if he starts with it gain see if you can change his thinking but if it gets a bit much walk away for the time being rather than risk your quit just for a day or two and get your own strength back

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxx

  • Heard a smoker having a coughing fit early this morning which was not nice for them and not nice for me.........

    I hear this every time i visit my mum. It upsets me to see her struggling to catch her breath in such a way... and yet the 20-40 a day doesn't help one bit.

    If i could get through to just one person and make them stop getting to this stage, then i'll do my best to do just that. I just wish that one person would be my mum. I've tried so many times to convince her to stop, and i just don't seem to be able to break her dependence... 'its the only enjoyment i've got!' i keep getting told.. it breaks me to hear that.. god knows i've tried.. every time i visit now infact.

    Basically folks don't let an addiction get this much of a hold on you. Especially not if you've got kids... it hurts your kids to see this in thier parents. This is why i've mostly quit.. i've quit for the sake of my daughter.

  • I hear this every time i visit my mum. It upsets me to see her struggling to catch her breath in such a way... and yet the 20-40 a day doesn't help one bit.

    If i could get through to just one person and make them stop getting to this stage, then i'll do my best to do just that. I just wish that one person would be my mum. I've tried so many times to convince her to stop, and i just don't seem to be able to break her dependence... 'its the only enjoyment i've got!' i keep getting told.. it breaks me to hear that.. god knows i've tried.. every time i visit now infact.

    Basically folks don't let an addiction get this much of a hold on you. Especially not if you've got kids... it hurts your kids to see this in thier parents. This is why i've mostly quit.. i've quit for the sake of my daughter.

    wow. thats pretty intense Jase.

    yep. id be in exacly the same mindset if the same was due for me.

    its not. my parents are not heavy smokers.

    however my best mate when i was younger - his dad died of a heart attack from smoking 60+ a day. we were only young kids but his mom had to sell the house and ive never seen my best friend in the world ever since.

    how sad is that.

    cigarettes cause unhappiness.

    its truely something i dont want to give my kids.

    they deserve to be able to keep the friends they make when they are 10 cos their parents dont die through smoking and need to move.

    unbelieveable.

  • I hear this every time i visit my mum. It upsets me to see her struggling to catch her breath in such a way... and yet the 20-40 a day doesn't help one bit.

    If i could get through to just one person and make them stop getting to this stage, then i'll do my best to do just that. I just wish that one person would be my mum. I've tried so many times to convince her to stop, and i just don't seem to be able to break her dependence... 'its the only enjoyment i've got!' i keep getting told.. it breaks me to hear that.. god knows i've tried.. every time i visit now infact.

    Basically folks don't let an addiction get this much of a hold on you. Especially not if you've got kids... it hurts your kids to see this in thier parents. This is why i've mostly quit.. i've quit for the sake of my daughter.

    Sorry to hear that Fella. My dad who is an Ex-smoker himself used to always have a go at me about smoking, every time I saw him for the past 20 years in fact, but it used to get on my nerves people having a go at me about smoking and i'd come out with the same excuses.

    Not sure what to advise there fella, just because we have given up, we think that everyone can give up just like us (which they can of course) but not everyone is ready/wants to give up.

    I hope she does though, my breathing has got 100 times better, no more clearing out my lungs and coughing my guts up every morning and constantly coughing to clear my throat throughout the day.

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