Onto day 13 and not so bad today feeling happy!!
had a slip up yesterday and just feel so cr*p about it! Went to the pub as i do every sunday lovely day sitting in pub garden felt wonderful until i got a craving and i tried to walk away from it and the smokers and went to loo and i was so frustrated i burst into tears in the loo! pulled myself together and went and joined my friends and it started again and i gave in and smoked a ciggie! :mad:
It was horrible and tasted rubbish and just made me feel so ashamed with myself and wanting to kick myself and i went totally irrational and beat myself up over it and had to go home i was inconsolable! today i am a more rational and with it and know it was coz a) i was slightly sozzled b) my friends were smoking as they have always down c) my guard was done and i gave into it!!! But looking on the bright side one ciggie in 12 days when i would have normally had 200+ is good but damn i could have kicked myself so hard yesterday!!! But i won't give in and i keep going its not gonna beat me!!!