The longer you go the faster the days seem to roll by!! Day 15 and I LOVE being a non smoker. I love my cough and the feeling that my long suffering lungs are spring cleaning themselves, I loved being at a party yesterday and not having to sneak off for a cigarette, I even love the times when I reach for a pack and remember that I don't smoke anymore. I love not stinking of smoke, I love not constantly thinking 'Is this the one that's going to set off some horrible disease'. I love that I don't put my hard earned money into the pockets of corporate drug dealers anymore. I really love being a non smoker.
Happy Monday everyone! Hope you're all loving freedom too!!!
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Aww thanks Bev. I think I've got it licked. There's definitely something different about this time compared to the hundreds of previous times I've quit (or paused as my Dad calls it hehe). I can't explain it, it feels like I've made the decision once and for all. I sat and watched my mate smoke and got p**sed with him on Sat and didn't get one urge to smoke!! I still feel ropey, my head still spins, I get waves of nausea sometimes, I'm still snappy and irritable and all the rest of it, but a little less every day. The other big difference this time is support. My other quits I've been so stressed about the pressure I put on those around me with my moods that I've used it as an excuse to start again. Last time my Mum (who hates smoking and watched my Gran die of Emphysema) told me to buy a pack of cigs because I was being so awful!!! I was horrible to be around!!! So completely did I define who I was with the habit, it always felt as if I was losing my personality and I became terribly depressed.
This time I gave my OH lots of prep. I told her what to expect, and trusted that I could be - quite frankly - a moodly little s**t because of the withdrawal symptoms without her or anyone else judging me. And it's worked. Or at least helped a LOT! I think you've got to be able to allow yourself the space to not fight the symptoms, to let yourself be as ratty and to fall apart as much as you need to. Day 3 was hell!!! I thought I was losing the plot. As was day 8 when I cut my patches in half! AndI probably will tomorrow when I come off them altogether. But every time I get like that I tell the people around me why and how I'm feeling, and ask myself the question: Does nicotine really make me sane/chatty/sleep better/happy/creative etc. etc. etc.?
No. As someone said in another way on their post (nicfirth I think), you've always had the best traits (and worst) of the person you are, it's just that for the past x years you've had a little craving to get past before you can deal with anything else. Nicotine isn't a monster, neither are cigarettes. They're completely benign and harmless things without a lighter and a person on the other end! They only become monsters when I decide to make them masters of my life. It's always been my decision to irreversibly scar my lungs and chemically alter my brain. And I can't believe its taken me so flippin' long to realize it!!
Congrats on making it to week 3. We are one of the few that stopped starting on the same day. SO today is the first day of week 3 for me too. Mostly I cant believe its week 3 already. When I forst got here I couldnt wait to get to day 2 and 3 and then a week and now its week 3 already. Im very grateful and not taking it for granted. Thanks to all of you that continue to give us support.
Yay!!! congrats to you too Mona, here's to the week three quitters!! I know what you mean, it feels like day one was just the other day!! Its flying past!
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