Crossing that first bridge

I have been trapped in the quit fail quit fail cycle for over a year and a half now and have hit the point of feeling quite desperate. Ironically several years ago I quit a 40+ a day habit for years and stumbled back entirely by accident and through poor judgement. Although I only smoke about 13 a day (because except for a couple of confidante's I'm a secret smoker and never do it in public), getting back on track and remembering my non-smoking days is becoming increasingly more difficult. I over think things and smoking has become my biggest obsession eating up my time, money and sanity (it would seem). I constantly berate myself over an addiction I hate and yet I can't seem to bring myself to let it go. It's like an abusive relationship, you know it's wrong but can't bring yourself to leave. Right now I'm planning my latest attempt to kick it for good, hopefully without the overwhelming pressure I put myself under and the over ****ysing that goes with it. I really want to regain control of my life and to suceed once and for all.

3 Replies

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  • Bug hug

    Hi Gillie

    You have done a brilliant thing coming on this forum, we will give you lots of support and encouraement.

    I too was a secret smoker, to me it was more hell, I was in a smoke and quit cycle for over 7 years. I tried everything and was sick and tired of the whole thing.

    This is my first quit day, so I am no pro....yet, but I do feel different about it this time and I think thats because of this forum and that I have someone to talk to. Thats the problem with being a secret smoker, you have no one to help you! But you have now!

    Well done on your first step. Do you feel different about it this time? Have you decided on which method you will use?

    Keep me posted, it would be nice to keep in contact with someone at the same stage as me - and who was also a secret smoker.

    Take care

    Marie

  • Hi Gillie, Hi Goodie,

    Welcome both to the forum. There is a wealth of knowledge and experience on here and I am sure that you will both benefit from the support and advice you will receive.

    Congratulations on your decision to quit - quite simply one of the best decisions you will ever make.

    Neither of you are alone in being a "secret" smoker. Many of us have taken that route, myself included, for any number of reasons. One of the unexpected joys of quitting is that there is no guilty secret to hide any more, (well, not about smoking, anyway!)

    What I would recommend is that you read up about your addiction. Understanding how it has controlled you is an essential step in taking the control back again. Check out these sites, both excellent - whyquit.com and woofmang.com .

    You can succeed. If I can, then you can too. Stay strong.

    Deke

  • Hi Gillie :D

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathiseing with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    Post often to let us know how you're doing, to rant, rave have a moan whatever you like pretty much anything goes on here OK

    Best Wishes

    Marg xxxxxxxx

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