Hi all, Team Monkey Barstewards!
Right this is the deal....Just passed (ish) the 6 month mark, and am having a bad time, somehow I've convinced myself that I'm allowed to smoke if I've had a drink, I don't mean the odd glass of wine at dinner, I mean if it's a party night or similar, you know..a late night/weekend...I think I'm pretending that I can be a social smoker...deep down I know I can't, I'm an addict! It's totally doing my head in, I've been doing this for about 6 weeks now and probably in total smoked about 40 cigarettes (maximum), you know the odd puff here and there, one off a friend etc etc, my quitcounter on the PC dosen't help either, I know the 40 cigarettes is bad, really bad but it seems ok when quitcounter tells me that i've not smoked 2700+ since I gave up, I think hey 40 is nothing compared to what it would have been. I just seem to have run out of willpower completely, I've tried so so hard and I don't want this to be the beginning of the end. Giving up was not easy, i'm still overweight, I have to go to the gym now, still have rubbishy sleep, and I swear, this is going to sound crazy, but I feel sadder as a person, does that make sense? Nicotine really does play with your mind, I find myself thinking that I was definitely happier as a smoker, was I??? What do I do???!
I've posted this on the 6 month board as I don't want to be negative to newbies, if any newbies are reading this, firstly, sorry but please learn from this to never let your guard down and you really have made the right decision to quit.
Well done to everyone xx
PS. One positive, my friend has given up 6 weeks ago:), he was 40+ a day and I never thought he'd give up, but get this...he saw how easy I made it look...if only! How silly did I feel when he saw me with a cigarette in my hand last weekend