Day 1 - stopping for my health adn my boys!

Hi guys,

New to this forum and hoping it's going to be of massive benefit.

I'm a 24 year old female from the North-East of England. I have a 6 year old son and a 10 week old son and I am desperate to stop smoking, which will hopefully discourage my children from smoking when they are older; leading by example.

I live with my wonderfully supportive partner, Him - who doesn't and has nedver smoked.

I'm also desperate to stop for my own health. I've been smoking since I was 12 years of age - though never smoked properly until I was 16 years old and could afford to fund the habit.

When I was between the ages of 22 and 23 I suffered my first ever panic attack and ever since have been plagued by anxiety regarding my breathing and whether or not I'm breathing fully and deeply enough. Smoking is clearly having a detrimental effect upon my anxiety and panic attacks and I feel if I can successfully stop, I'll be able to start the correct road to dealing with these issues - as well as improving my general health.

My panic attacks are extreme dilbilitating, I hate it when the weather is warm with no breeze as I feel like there is no air - I then obviously pollute my lungs and it exaggerates the issue. I feel like I get out of breath breathing, but its really the worry that I can't breathe properly which sends my heart racing and makes my breathing appear more shallow and makes me feel all tingly and generally awful.

I've just bought Wii Fit and have joined an aqua aerobics class twice a week at my 6 year olds school - 1 hour of swimming and then 1 hour of aqua aerobics on a Monday and Wednesday night.

I'm currently using the largest strength nicotine replacement patches and I also have an inhalator and nicotine cartridges to help replace the hand-to-mouth habit.

This is my 3rd serious attempt at quitting and I have never gotten past 5 days before. That being said, I've never used a stop smoking forum before either.

I figure a pregnancy forum got me through 9 months of pregnancy - towards the end I had virtually no lung capacity but continued to smoke - but it helped to keep me busy and helped emotionally. I'm really hoping sharing this experience with others via a forum will really help me also - moral support from people who know what I'm going through.

I've created a sticker chart so my son can award me a star each day I go without smoking - this helps to get him involved as he is always asking me when I will stop and telling me it says on the packet 'smoking kills' - it makes me feel so terrible that he thinks I'm going to die.. It makes me feel worse to realise that I am slowly killing myself by smoking; or at least speeding up the inevitable.

I've also made a dedicated money jar to save £2.50 per day which is the usual cost of my normal 10-a-day habit of Richmond Kingsize Smooth.

Non of my family or friends smoke at all - both immediate and extended, and to be honest, I'm almost jealous. Smoking has been 'my thing' for so long, I'm just nervous to do it - what will I do when my 6 year old is driving me up the wall? What will I do to reward myself after I;ve successfully met my babys needs and he has fallen asleep. How will I round off that perfect meal I;ve just eaten?

Sorry for a long first post and waffling on. Looking forward to starting this difficult journey with you all.. I figure this can't be any more painful or anymore psychologically trying than getting through 42 weeks of pregnancy and then childbirth with no pain relief. I'm definitely going to give this my all.

7 Replies

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  • Hi lastonefor me & well done on your decision to quit.

    Rest assured you will get so much help & support on this forum & important information on your quit which certainly made me even more resolute on my quit.

    My biggest reason was health. My COPD was having such a detrimental effect on my health, the more scared I got the more I smoked. Usual cycle. This is my 38 0r 39th day, can't remember but my chest improved enormously & very, very quickly.

    You have so many positive thinhs to quit for I am sure you will do it :D

    Read lots & keep posting ;)

    Love gaynor xx

  • Hi there,

    Your boys are a good reason, but the best reason is you!

    Smoking is only really about feeding an addiction to nicotine. Contrary to popular belief the chemical withdrawal is not that tough it is the mental associations with smoking which make it a hard habit to break.

    Have a browse through the links in my signature, understanding nicotine addiction and what to expect while quitting will make it easier.

    Getting the right frame of mind is the key, get that and the rest will follow. Look on quitting smoking as a positive experience, gaining health, wealth and control rather than as making a big sacrifice.

    I have no medical training but it wouldn't surprise me in the least if the panic attacks eased once you have got nicotine out of your system. Smoking does not calm you at all, you merely to up the levels of nicotine in your system so that the body is comfortable again allowing you to get on with whatever else you are wanting to do, that is until you need your next fix to bring them back up again. Since I quit I have become a much calmer person.

    Post often, stay strong ad good luck.

    Nic

  • Hi guys,

    Thanks for the first - of many I'm sure - positive and supportive messages.

    My biggest reason for quitting is in fact my own health - obvious by the gigantic long explanation - though I mentioned it second, it's the major reason, I just mentioned my boys first because they come first.. Though it's a bit of an oxymoron really as I should put my own health first to be around long enough to keep putting them first!

    I'm already aware that the nicotine dependency is pretty negliable compared to the actual habit - I've previously tried to quit with the help of smokinf cessation groups - I just dont think the 1 hour per week support was enough. This sight is 24 hour support and I feel will keep me MUCH more motivated.

    Himself and The Boys are extremely supportive, but I feel I'd be better served by support from people experiencing what I'm going through or having had experienced it already.

    I am resolute this time, I'm on maternity leave from work, so my one of my habit-patterns has already gone - the two 15 minute breaks and 30 minute lunches have gone where I'd cram in as many cigs in as I could stomach..

    None of my friends or family smoke - it was only work colleagues, so I have nobody egging me on to smoke or doubting me on a daily basis.

    Another of my pitfalls has always been alcohol - not that I consumed a great deal, but as I'm sure you're all aware, alcohol seems to fit seamlessly with smoking. I haven't touched more than a solitary glass of wine or a bottle of Kronenburg in around 15 months (already feel the benefits of that, as I was a treble Jager and redbull/vodka redbull/southern comfort and lemonade kind of drinker)..

    With that now out of the picture, I wont and dont have to worry that I'll succumb and either have no self control or not be able to remember.

    I just want to quit so badly. I don't view it as a sacrafice, despite how it may read above. I view this as a necessity, it has to be done :)

  • Hi there and congrats on your first day smoke free! I know what you mean about having the support of people who know what they're talking about. Just today I had a never-been-smoker telling me that it's easy, you just stop smoking. People giving you that 'you're just weak' look but they have no idea cos they've never been addicted to cigarettes. Anyhoo the people on here do know and it's nice to be able to post for as long as you want and get all those feelings out there because there will always be someone that can sympathise and probably someone going through the same thing at that moment. One thing that stuck me about your post was this:

    Smoking has been 'my thing' for so long, I'm just nervous to do it - what will I do when my 6 year old is driving me up the wall? What will I do to reward myself after I;ve successfully met my babys needs and he has fallen asleep. How will I round off that perfect meal I;ve just eaten?

    I'm just on day 5 and on patches also and can tell you that the things that really pissed you off before will just mildly annoy you once you get the smoking out of your system (the patches help a lot with the physical withdrawl). Most of your aggro is actually caused by your nicotine levels going down! No nicotine addiction=no withdrawl and although your 6 year old will still drive you up the wall you'll be able to handle it better cos then you're dealing with one little devil and not two :D

    To reward yourself you'll buy yourself something nice, eat something nice, watch a film, play a game.. whatever you enjoy doing. As for the perfect meal, well without fags you'll round it off by enjoying the taste of that lovely meal properly and for the following two hours still be able to taste it. Hang on in there and keep your hands busy doing whatever (posting on the forum, rant rant rant, cleaning seems to help cos it's never finished ;) Take care and look forward to hearing from you again.

  • Welcome to the forum, best place you can be when you are leaving cigs behind it has helped me no end. As for your panic attacks I think you will see a great improvement, a lot of people have commented on how much calmer I seem to be since ditching the cigs.

    Great big well done and keep posting X

  • Hi, I have to agree with Mel & Nic in that I am way, way much calmer than when I was a smoker. A really lovely feeling & something that other people have commented on as well. Just another good thing about giving up the evil weed :D

    Love Gaynor xxx

  • great to hear your going to give up. I can only echo what others have said about the calmness thing. im way less mentally up and down than when i was smoking. Probably cos my body isnt having to work really hard to deal with all the poison i was putting in it. Also once the nicotine has gone your not being pulled around by withdrawal all the time.

    just all psychological after that. and what others have said about focusing on it being a really good thing your doing rather than losing anything is key i think.

    good luck and keep us updated on how your getting on!

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