Felt totally different today and not sure whether to be worried or not. Took Mum to see the nurse this morning and had a really bad time and she has to go and see the dr in the morning as nurse if very worried. For the first time I told someone (the nurse) about my brother how he crawls around and wont accept help from any outsider and I didnt shed a tear, I got Mum home got her calmed down tried to talk some sense into my bro and I was calm and I felt strength in my voice. Did Mums shopping and got home 7hrs after setting off sat down had a coffee realised I hadnt eaten all day and only had one drink, and realised cigs had not crossed my mind all day even though I had been stressed. I went out this evening with my friend who has never smoked had a lovely meal and only one alcoholic drink had tonic water after and not once did I feel like a cig. I got home shattered and know it will be an early morning and I feel fine. So why am I worried I feel too calm not like me at all scared everything is going to go bang.