not cope'ing

the last few days aint been going to well for me, 1 minute i dont think about them the next all i can think about is them.

yesterday in work i was sitting on a bench with my head in my arms, next minute a friend from another department came over asked how i was doing i reply'd not so good, then she suggested it 'why dont you just have 1 every once and a while', my heart jumped out my chest, of course i said to myself, a loop hole. it took me at least 30 seconds to snap myself back into reality. stupid i know but that thought scared me, it made me realise that no matter how much i thought i was over them no matter how much i big myself up, they will always be there waiting for a weak moment were i can fall. when will i stop missing them completely, somehow it feels as though im never really going to stop craving that all im really going to do in the end is get used to the cravings. makes me want to smoke but i really really dont want to either, i find myself envying my friends who pop out for a smoke durring breaks in work, but i dont want to give up giving up.

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  • I think we all go through stages like this, Sourlink.

    I certainly did - week 7 it was.

    Awful. Only the absolute determination that I would not fail no matter what got me through. I already knew, as you do, that smoking does not help... that smoking does nothing for me... but still, I wanted to. I didn't feel like I needed to.... but I wanted to, so badly.

    But I fought it because people here and on other forums told me it would go away. That almost everyone has a really rough time at some point and that it always passes. I am so happy I beleived them!!! It did pass, and it got easier....

    Don't give in. Choose not to smoke. Just for today. Maybe tomorrow you won't have to choose ;)

  • Hi sweetie

    i'm just on a break at the mo and thought 'i'll just have a quick read through some threads', then stumbled across yours!!!, and had to answer it...

    Sorry to hear you are finding it difficult at the moment, breaks can be hard especially if you are seeing your colleagues going out for a fag, but you are wrong in one respect, when you said you envy the people going out for a fag, well i can tell you this, those people will envy you more, as you have stopped and they are still busy killing themselves!!

    remind yourself of all the negatives attached to smoking-there certainly isnt any positives -you are doing well the craves will weaken over time.

    There i'm late from my break-but you're worth it -big cyber hug xxxx:)

  • ...it made me realise that no matter how much i thought i was over them no matter how much i big myself up, they will always be there waiting for a weak moment were i can fall. when will i stop missing them completely, somehow it feels as though im never really going to stop craving that all im really going to do in the end is get used to the cravings....

    Sourlink,

    That envy that Shabba mentioned that smokers have...well you know that's true because when you smoked you probably envied those that had stopped smoking.

    The determination that Stuart talks about is part of the quit. He also stated that it does get easier. All of us long-termers will agree with that. When you resist a craving and repeatadely do this it establishes a pattern that will ultimately become second nature.

    One of the things to get you through this time is to post here. One of us will 'big' you up - because you deserve it. Post and even if you are down to the last straw, don't smoke until you get 5 replies. By the time that happens you'll have forgotten the urge.

    Cav

  • Hi Sourlink

    So sorry to hear you are having a bad day hun, my heart goes out to you as i know exactly how you feel. I think alot of us have had days when life seems to be so much bleaker without our friends the little white sticks.

    Dont envy your friends that still have a ciggy, the way i looked at it which helped was to think that i had my life back in control and that my smoking mates were still slaves to the nicotine, that made me feel alot better..you just need to start believing it hun.

    You have done so well..be proud of yourself as no doubt so many people are, and as shabba said i have no doubts that your smoking friends are really envious that you have managed to take back control of your life and stop smoking.

    Try to re focus on the reasons why you quit and want to stay quit, and hang in there hun. We are all here for you for when you need us.

    Dee

    xx

  • i guarantee your friends will be envious....i have noticed this with mine this week...they exuse themselves in having to light up infront of....doesnt bother me...but i know it really bothers them......

    i am not as far down the road as you...but look up to and read about people on here who are doing so well after weeks or months..

    dont give in xx

  • Sourlink, When you start to feel this way, remember the way people who smoke smell, remember how others would look at you when you were smoking(like you were a second class citizen!), remember how uncomfortable it was to have to smoke in the cold wind, rain and snow, remember all the reasons you stopped, health, freedom, wealth, and most important life! Just don't take a puff! ;)

    Quit: Jan 18, 2009

    Method: CT

  • Hi Sourlink

    Sorry you are feeling down but you know it will pass and you will win out over that urge we all have them I had a really bad one funnily enough like Stuart on week 7 I was in an awful state but with the help of everyone on here and Stuart who I rang I got past it and haven't had a really bad one since

    Apart from that I can't add anything to what the others have said just don't light up you would be so angry with yourself just hang in there YOU CAN DO IT Big cuddle on it's way to you

    Love Margxxx

  • Hang in there Sourlink. I suspect everyone on here has been through it at some point. Everyone told me that once I was past the third day of stopping smoking the rest would be a breeze. In fact those first three days were the easy bit.

    I can go for days now without even thinking of cigs, which feels amazing, then other days I can't stop thinking about them. You've just got to remember that the nicotine is well and truly out of your system, so it's not a physical craving and you CAN get past it.

    As others have said, inhale deeply next time your smoker friends come back into the office after having a smoke - I never realised just how disgusting I smelt! One of my colleagues lent over me today to point out something on my computer - and his breath smelt like death. Gross! He's very well groomed and clean (!) but no amount of teethbrushing can get rid of that horrible stale smell on someone's breath.

    As for smokers offering you a cigarette - that's really unfair of them. I know they're trying to be helpful, but it's NOT helpful. Allen Carr (his book is excellent if you haven't read it already - it's what spurred me on to quit) refers to smokers as being 'left on a sinking ship' - there is a sense of panic - don't let them drag you back on to the ship.

    The greatest moment of near-relapse I had was last week when I was leaving a meeting with a colleague and as we got outside he lit up a cigarette. I was so close to asking if I could have one, then I got a whiff of the smoke. What used to make me thing 'Mmmmm... lovely smoking smell' is now 'Ew... gross!'. Think my sense of smell must finally be coming back!

    Anyhow, sorry for the ramble; just to let you know that I understand perfectly where you're coming from.

    Hang in there - we're all with you!

  • Yeah, that really sucks when you end up being jealous of someone who is addicted to drugs. Remember that for every one you envy, they are smoking another 10 or 20 that aren't so enviable.

    I remember I used to work in a factory, all the fun people went outside to chain smoke on their 15 minute breaks, and stayed out there for the whole lunch time, smoking in between their snacks and downing nasty 15p coffee which tastes minging when you don't smoke.

    I had to take myself away from all of that for about 2 months, sit in my car or go out somewhere at lunch, it was really hard, but I was so proud of myself for getting through it and used to laugh at the idiots shivering outside in the rain trying to protect their cigarette, coming back in not only stinking of damp but like an ashtray too. and they really are jealous of you.

    For every 10 people who smoke, 9 of them would quit if they could.

    Soon you'll wonder why you ever thought about it, hang in there. Take yourself away from the situations where you can be tempted until you get stronger. Realise that smoking makes you weak and unconfident. You're a better person in a thousand ways for not smoking. If you ever have doubts, go make a bonfire, put some plastic on it and put your head over the smoke for 5 minutes, that's about the equivalent of what you're doing to your body every day when you're a smoker, not nice eh.

    Smoking is for the weak-willed and self-loathing. You're not one of them anymore.

  • Hi S L

    Morning so hope you feel better today

    Marg

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