Why i should have never started

Hi,

Just a chance to offload a bit of my background. My mother and father were both heavy smokers. My mother had cancer before and during the time I was born. Then on and off until I was 6. After that she was pretty much bed ridden until she died when I was 9 and she was 41. Smoked right up until the end. A pile of bones with a fag hanging out of her mouth. Dad devasted. Got me into trampolining and I made the british squad by the age of 15. By which time i was stealing his park drive dog ends and rolling my own. Dad dropped dead of a heart attack at 56. Smoking given as the cause though he had stopped 6 months before and taken up running which was a bit ironic! Too little too late! Still i smoked. The wonder of the nicotine spell! Now I am 40. 1 year to go before I beat my mothers record of life! And my own 9 year old daughter to boot. Add in a dreadful cough thats been going on for 5 months which left me feeling like I was drowning, and a good few smoking crows feet and I decided that enough is enough. I am choosing life and hoping to god I have not made the decision too late.

9 Replies

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  • I feel the same as you Fiona I even cried in the docs asking him if he thought I had cancer already, I too hope it's not too late.

  • Hi Fiona

    I don't know what to say to you so much pain and fear as a child and worry perhaps as go got older I can only wish you well

    Love Margaretxxxxx

  • Hi Fiona - it's never too late to stop smoking - at least I hope not - I am also 40!

    I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your parents when you were so young.

    You have so many good reasons there for stopping, number one being your 9 year old daughter. I don't have children of my own but my sister had her first child last September - he is one of my main reasons for quitting. I so want to see him grow up and be there for him.

    I really wish you well and hope you can stay strong!

  • Hi Fiona

    So sorry to your about your mum & dad. Mine also died from smoking illnesses. At least we have seen the light and are stopping now it is never to late hopfully.

    Jerry lee

    A old member from this forum who quit last jan. Was told she could never have children but found out she was preggas at 16 week. Is Due in three days so maybe stopping smoking helped her.xxxx

  • thanks guys. Thats the first time I have admitted my fears! Quiting smoking has made me a little self indulgent on my fears I am afraid!

  • You keep going stong hun xxxxxx

  • Hi Fiona

    Good luck with your quit hun, and so sad to have lost both parents so young, if that isnt enough to keep you going than your 9 year old daughter will hopefully be enough, and the fact that you will want to be there for her when she has grown up and hold her children........that is what has kept me going as i so want to be there for my children and hold their children, and not be a memory or a topic of conversation.

    Keep strong hun we are all here for you.

    Dee

    xx

  • hi fiona,,,i to lost my mother from canser,,so i know what you went throught,,this fourm is so good for the soul,,does us all good to have a good rant on here and say things we would not normely say,,and later feel a lot better for it,,hope you all see were i am coming from,,not to good with words,,keep the faith tony keep:D:D

  • hi fiona, i too lost my mum to cancer she was 48 its ten years ago she died, its what has prompted me and my 2nd cousin to give up (her mum died young too, and was my mums cousin). so i am at the moment aware of my mortality and its the first time it has scared me. and for the sake of my 3 boys.....my mum left me and 3 brothers all screwed up becasue of it, and i dont wish that on any of my boys........

    so i can see where you are coming from and that your at the end of your tether with cigarettes

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