Even now!!!!

Even now it would be so simple to slip back into smoking.

At the moment I have some "stuff" well various "stuffs" going on that are either depressing, annoying or just flipping irritating. (That's life!)

Anyway, the thought that it would be easier to get by if I had a smoke keeps cropping up, OK I can dismiss it for the lie it is, but equally I could so easily listen to it.

Really the addiction is dealt with, but the desire sneaks up on you from time to time for ages after. Trying to get you back!

"The price of freedom is eternal vigilance"

There is never such a thing as just one (well for me at least) and you start to remember the "enjoyed" smokes rather than the whole package of addiction. But there can be no feeding of the addiction if I am to stay free no matter how I may be tempted along the way!

Some of you may be fortunate enough to free yourselves from temptation easily, but others will have to re-focus their efforts from time to time just as I do.

40 Replies

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  • Some of you may be fortunate enough to free yourselves from temptation easily, but others will have to re-focus their efforts from time to time just as I do.

    And me, Nic.

    I really don't need to say much to you, do I?

    Just that you're an inspiration to me and many others... and every challenge makes a quit stronger :D

  • You said it! I have never been so good with words, but that is it!

    Thanks

  • Same here. I have so much cr*p going on in my life at the moment it would be so easy to have a ciggie believing that would make it better but it won't so we all have to be strong. I am at home today - plumber trying to fix my shower, Gas Board servicing the heating, engineer looking at my broken down fridge and to top it all cooker packed in so somehow have to juggle the good old credit card to get a new one. 3 weeks ago I would have been sat outside puffing on a fag with the "stress" of it all, today I am sat in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and no fag trying to deal with the stress of it all. Such is life. Got to laugh.

  • this is nothing against you nic-so dont take this the wrong way!!

    but im almost relieved you feel alittle like that, as you come across as so strong, and everything you say seems 'so right' -to the point where i was feeling almost weak next to you!! as i still think of smoking on a regular basis, with you giving me the impression you dont and that you have 'cracked it! SO YOU ARE HUMAN THEN? thats nice to know!!!!

    non of us, even you, will find it so easy, awareness, vigilance and down right hard headedness is the key!!!

    sorry things are difficult right now-but the hard times as well as the good shape us and make us strong xxxxxxx

  • SO YOU ARE HUMAN THEN?

    No actually its all lies; I have a periodic task set into MS Outlook to self denigrate so that all other mere mortals don't feel bad about themselves.:p:p

    Seriously though, I have a strong will and positive attitude and outlook, which helps but I know that nicotine is always there ready to snipe at me if I let it.

    Cracked it? IMHO that's not the way it works. I am in control, my task is to retain control, if that makes sense?

  • Cracked it? IMHO that's not the way it works. I am in control, my task is to retain control, if that makes sense?

    I shall remember that and yes it makes a lot of sense

  • Go for it

    Hi Nic,

    I, too, am relieved to get a peek behind the curtain and see that there's still that danger even for someone as focussed as you!

    I speak as someone who still feels a right idiot for having been on this forum last year and then started smoking again after 4 months.

    I'm sure you'll be just fine and. if, by any chance, you're not, then just move ahead and learn from the experience. It's not for nothing that smoking tobbaco is a habit that crosses culture and gender boundaries and still holds millions of people in it's 'orrible 'ands!

    Bill

  • Nic,

    really surprised to read this post from you ... as one of the most informed and helpful people on this forum I guess you're one of the last to hear thoughts of caving in from...

    I think its important, as an oldie, to let people know how things are later in the quit as well as at the beginning.

    I understand how, what, where and why these feelings come about and how to deal with them but its still important to recognise that they do crop up even this far into the quit.

    I don't see it as a failure that they are there, its all part of the journey, but equally I am aware that I can come across as being 100% over smoking when in truth there is a long way to go. I feel that its best to acknowledge the fact, publicly, as people that helped me did.

    As far as my stuff goes, most of it is outside my direct control so its just a case of wait and see. For example, my brother in law is at present (I believe) undergoing surgery to remove a small and hopefully benign brain tumour. Whatever will be will be, but its a worry none the less.

  • Nick i do hope your BiL will be ok and thank you for your post. Just made me think you know most of whats been happening with my family and just seen oldest son ( alcohlic) hes back drinking and legs are three times the size they should be. Cant do anything he will not go to doctors and like you said what will be will be. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Linda xxxx

  • Hi Nic

    Like others have said, there is no advise that can be given as you are the one that always comes to the rescue.

    I guess it doesnt matter how focused you are, there will be days when it will creep up on us.

    You have all you need at your fingertips to keep you focused, there is no one better to give you advise then yourself, but we all need the encouragement from time to time. We are all here for you as you are for so many of us, i have to say that you have kept so many of us off the ciggys with the advise and support you have given, me included.

    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you hun.

    Denise

    xx

  • Nick i do hope your BiL will be ok and thank you for your post. Just made me think you know most of whats been happening with my family and just seen oldest son ( alcohlic) hes back drinking and legs are three times the size they should be. Cant do anything he will not go to doctors and like you said what will be will be. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Linda xxxx

    Linda, I do hope your boy manages to get his head straight and turn his life around, sometime soon.

  • Me too nick. But Im not holding my breath.xxxx

    Hows things with the brother in law?

  • Well he is back on the ward and concious, so good news. Will find out more once doctor has seen him tomorrow.

  • Nic

    My son inlaws uncle had large Brain tumor removed Last jan they told him having it removed would give him 12 months. Not having it done he would only last 6 to 8 weeks. he went for hospital appointment last week and they told him its not grown back. so Fab news hes only in his fiftys. My point is you never know do you.xxxx

  • Nic

    My son inlaws uncle had large Brain tumor removed Last jan they told him having it removed would give him 12 months. Not having it done he would only last 6 to 8 weeks. he went for hospital appointment last week and they told him its not grown back. so Fab news hes only in his fiftys. My point is you never know do you.xxxx

    That's great, Linda, I guess that were a bit right just wrong which 12 months!!

    One of the ladies at my Martial Arts club had one removed 18 months ago and was as right as rain in a few months, so I'm hopeful that all will work out well. I just feel for him and my sister at the moment.

    Cheers

    Nic

  • nic, linda,you to are having a rough time at the mo ,so pleased you both are still smoke free,with all thats going on,,,your both very strong minded people,,so just keep the faith tony

  • Thank you Tony. Its all sent to try us my late mum would say I say can they try someone else for a change HEHE. No really tho Good luck with it Nic. Also your worry tony.xxxxx

  • Hi Nic

    Sorry you are having problems at the moment hope the news of brother in law good but am sure you will stay strong

    Linda hope your problems are gettong better and Tony Hope you feel better

  • I think a big group hug is needed. Nic and Linda i hope that things work out well for you both, and well done both of you staying so strong through it all.

    Denise

    xx

  • I hear that B-I-L is doing great today, so that's good.

    Other things still being irksome but nothing I can do about them, but let them run their course.

    Mojo - don't fear just because I've had thoughts fancying smoking it doesn't mean I'll let the demons back in. Like all fans of vampire movies know they have to be invited in:) There is a whole world of difference from thinking oooh I really could do with a cig and getting as far as placing one in my gob, lighting it and taking in a lung full of muck.

    But thank you everyone for your concern :)

  • Nic/Linda

    Just clicked on this one-so sorry to hear of both your troubles.

    Nothing I can add to what's already been said really, but you've both been so supportive to me, I just wanted you to know I care. As Tony says, these things really are sent to try us-stay strong and I do hope things improve shortly.

  • Hi Nick

    So pleased things are so far so good with BIL. Hope your sister is ok too. Thanks everyone for your very kind words this thing with my son is getting like a broken record. Sorry nic think i high jacked your thread.xxxxx

  • Hi Nick

    So pleased things are so far so good with BIL. Hope your sister is ok too. Thanks everyone for your very kind words this thing with my son is getting like a broken record. Sorry nic think i high jacked your thread.xxxxx

    Sis seems positive, which is good, next is the 2 weeks or so waiting for the histology, to check its benign.

    And no you didn't hijack my thread.

  • Glad BIL came through the OP... fingers crossed for the results Nic. And I know where you are coming from on the OP as well.... no matter what life brings, a smoke will not help... it cannot.

    Linda, I know you know this... but you have to let him do what he wants, just be there for him.

    I can't imagine how hard it is to watch your son destroy himself (I only hope I never have to) .... but it's his life. I really feel for you, and hope you can stay clean of your poison even if he can't. You are the strongest person I have ever had contact with and I know you will succeed.

  • Guys,

    There is every likelihood that I will not be around much for a while. My BL has had the histology results and they could not have been much worse.

    This will not effect my quit, smoking would change nothing, but I'm not in a cheerful and supportive mood at the moment.

    Thanks for your compassion, that you have always shown.

    Nic

  • Hi Nick,Ive only just seen this thread,Im so sorry, I will be thinking of you and your family at this time.

    x

  • Hi Nic

    I am so sorry for you and your family

    I really do not know what to say to you

    except that I will be thinking of you and

    wish you all well

    Love Margaretxxxxx

  • Oh no Nic,

    What a totally shitty situation for your family. You must be distraught. You are doing the right things though, and please, let us know how you are getting on.

    DM x

  • Guys,

    There is every likelihood that I will not be around much for a while. My BL has had the histology results and they could not have been much worse.

    This will not effect my quit, smoking would change nothing, but I'm not in a cheerful and supportive mood at the moment.

    Thanks for your compassion, that you have always shown.

    Nic

    I can't say much that hasn't already been said, Nic - but I wish you and your's all the very best.

  • Nic,

    Not much consolation to you but I've been through what you are going through 8 years ago with my father - first a benign tumour and then a Grade 4 maligant one which claimed him. Any help I can give just ask. My thoughts are with you, its a difficult road ahead, all you can do is be there for your family.

  • Nic My friend

    you know my thoughts. thinking of you and your family. you know where we are mate.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Thank you all for your thoughts.

    Nic,

    Not much consolation to you but I've been through what you are going through 8 years ago with my father - first a benign tumour and then a Grade 4 maligant one which claimed him. Any help I can give just ask. My thoughts are with you, its a difficult road ahead, all you can do is be there for your family.

    I'm assuming its the same, I have been told so far its the most aggressive form of the 4 types of brain cancer. The tumour was removed but they say that there will be "seeds" of cancer left behind.

    He will need treatment, at present I can't find out whether that's chemo or radio therapy and possibly further surgery. If successful that could double his life expectancy, even so the most likely is 4-6 years with an outside chance of of 10. He's in his mid 50's.

    He is quite determined to enjoy his remaining time, and we are trying to think practically about sharing out the trips to treatment and time off so that my sister keeps her job etc.

    It is still surreal but its starting to sink in, we will muddle through, we have no choice.

    Cheers

    Nic

    P.s. he used to smoke but quit years ago, as I understand it there is not believed to be a link between brain cancer and smoking, effin irony!

  • Thoughts are with you and your family NIc.

    Best Wishes

    Bernie

  • Nic, just come across this now, best wishes to all your family, I can't imagine what it's like or how you cope with situations like that.

  • nic,my thoughts are with you,,tony

  • I fully understand that you don't feel like celebrating Nic - But I feel I should point out to anyone who hasn't spotted it that today marks 7 months quit for you.

    Well done to you, buddy.

    I hope the family is doing OK during this tough time. My thoughts are with you.

  • Well done Nick

    Has stu has said well done mate. We are thinking of you and are here if you need us. Love to you all. Linda xxxxxxx

  • Hi Nic

    Well done on 7 Months quit I understand we can do nothing to help at this time but my thoughts are with you

    Love Margxx

  • Good of you guys to remember :) Thanks.

    B-I-L is determined that through a positive attitude he will beat this. I guess you have a choice fight or give in and he's not ready to give in yet.

    Thanks for the kind words.

    Cheers

    Nic

  • hi nic.... not been on for ages, twas getting a bit silly for me with all this 'mod' 'mallarky and i was getting a bad vibe from the site , but today i came back to it and 'clocked' your thread, so i just want to say glad you havent caved in, it can be tough cant it....i had a re-boot of hypnotherapy last week ( which has proved fantastic ) as the urges were becoming unbearable , so please stay strong , you dont need anyone to tell you how to overcome the difficulties........hugs. carol-anne:D xx

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