I am not going to smoke and I mean it!!!!!!
The problem is, is that I still want a cigarette and I hate this - it is so annoying!
Physically, there is no craving, psychologically it is in full force and frankly it is really hacking me off.
I think it must be the time of year. I absolutely love Christmas but I keep having this sneaky little thought that if I could smoke then everything would be perfect! In fact everything would be perfect if I could just stop the thoughts about smoking pestering me.
I find this all very odd. In a funny sort of way it seems harder than it was in the first few days. Maybe I am being too complacent.
Is this a familiar experience for you guys?
The thought that I will have to live with these feelings for the rest of my non smoking days does not fill me with hope.
I suppose I feel like I am in a lose-lose situation (the glass feels completely empty right now) in that I can't smoke and I don't want to smoke but I do want to smoke and I can if I want to..............if that makes any sense!!
I suppose it is because prior to stopping smoking, I felt like I had a choice whether to smoke or not but now because I am out of the addiction and feel so much better (both physically and mentally) I know that I just cannot afford to smoke - I just cannot smoke again - the downsides to smoking are just too big. My anxiety for instance just does not exist on the same level or intensity as it did when I smoked. The physical symptoms are so slight and I feel like my hole body has slowed down to a natural rhythm.
So why am I complaining????????????:D:rolleyes: