Are we all waiting to feel normal agin?

I stopped smoking the dreaded weed on the 20th January after months of my children and fiance nagging me about it. If it wasn't the amount of trips I was making outside since the National Smoking Ban in public places it was the health implications my daughter constantly reminded me of during my moments of pleasure (?). Yes I know we shouldn't think of these moments as pleasure but as you reach the 3rd month of quitting I find the nicotine monster is sitting to my surprise quite firmly on my shoulder. The novelty for most around you has worn off and at times you almost forget yourself. However, at the tender age of 13 I started smoking and save a few failed attempts along the way, smoking has been prominent in my life. I have discovered more recently how much I used to rely on smoking to keep my emotions under control, particulary anger and stress. I feel I am having to relearn coping strategies and that has been the most difficult. I still get waves of depression too, when I begin to get lost in the idea I am depriving myself of something I liked and then my thought processes run away with themselves, i.e. Why did I ever quit? Perhaps I should just accept I am a smoker and suffer the consequences..... Until I stop this process and acknowledge the power of this crazy addiction and the physcological complexity of it.

Anyway I needed some encouragement, so I joined this site today. I have been smoke free for a whole 2 months and with the money I have bought myself an IPOD touch. I use Relaxation and Hypnotherapy CDs regularly but still get caught unaware sometimes. In a moment of defiance and under the influence of achohol I sucame to a cigarrette the other night, although I daren't admit this to anyone. I bought a packet of 10 Marlborough Lights and a box of matches and smoked a whole cigarrette with the intent of enjoying it. I don't know what I expected but it was far from the sort of pleasure I had envisaged. I threw the rest of the packet away and used several hundred profanities on myself before deciding to maintain my smoke free goal. BUT how much longer can I expect this to last! I suppose if I'm realistic 24 years of smoking can't be forgotten in 2 months because I'm sure apart from the obvious nicotine addiction it's about relearning to do life without cigarrettes. So, the conclusion I have reached is, you have to relearn to cope with emotions with moderate reactions and this action needs to be repeated until it forms a habit and eventually replaces the former. Too deep? or a reasonable understanding of the word 'habit'?:rolleyes:

Anyway hope I haven't bored you too much.:)

14 Replies

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  • BUT how much longer can I expect this to last! I suppose if I'm realistic 24 years of smoking can't be forgotten in 2 months because I'm sure apart from the obvious nicotine addiction it's about relearning to do life without cigarrettes.

    Hi Wez,

    I feel very similar, having smoked for 30 years, the habits associated are pretty well ingrained. It would be the same for any other perceived pleasure, if you are sudddenly prevented from doing it. Every day for however many years, you have been putting the white sticks in your mouth and lighting them, 15 or 20 times daily. Every day. Even weekends. That's gonna take some unlearning. I think it's all about changing what's "normal" for you, and eventually (I hope ;)) the white stick in mouth thing will become a mere memory. Gradually, slowly, if you let it, your mind will forget about cigarettes as they fade into the past.

    I have been quit for 2 Months, 2 Weeks, 2 Days, 2 hours and 31 minutes (76 days). I have saved £402.96 by not smoking 1,522 cigarettes. I have saved 5 Days, 6 hours and 50 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 04/01/2008 11:45

  • Wow, feel as if I could have wrote that post Wez!!

    Hope you find things easier soon. Pray, tell me it IS easier at 5 weeks than it is at 3?! arrghhh

  • Wez,

    Hi.

    I so much agree with your view that smoking is entwined around so much of my (and your, by the sound of it) personality. i've been stopped, and on the puffers, for six weeks now.

    But, along with the 'loss' aspect of it, I am really excited to be finding all sorts of cover-ups and avoidances that were dealt with by a fag! i want to know what I was like before i started (at 15!!).

    What I've done is to start positive changes to my life style along with the quit. I try to do yoga as much as possible, and the feeling of being in touch with parts of my body not actually felt consciously for decades is great.

    I'm sure all emotional blocks are mirrored in the body. The distress of being without your little helper is, if you stay with it, accompanied a little later by the reawakening to some remnant of the original pain you smoked to avoid. every time you have a rough time the reward will be greater freedom in your body and mind. Deeper contact with the original you. It's gotta be good!!! There really is a fantastic positive side to all the work we have to put in to change our need to backslide into the layby we've use called 'light up a fag'.

    Sorry this is a bit long. It's been a journey of discovery and great delight for me...along with the effort. And who knows what will be the situation when i get rid of the puffers.

    Anyway, keep stopped please, and all the best to you!

    Bill

  • Thanks Bill it's nice to hear people feeling similar experiences around life without our 'little comfort friend' we've grown to love and hate all at the same time.

    It's interesting what you say about the person before you started smoking, I was 13 when I started and I remember being shocked by my older brother announcing he had started smoking and before too long had started on the dam things myself. I have always thought it was his fault I started smoking but am conscious I always looked to impress him when I was younger and his friends that I was tough. I wish at that time I had had more resolve and confidence in myself. And there we have it....... Confidence I think is the big thing, confidence in oneself and conviction to see things through..

    Food for thought.

    Wes

  • Well...we're made to soak up things and influences when young. Sorting out the good from the bad takes time...so don't be too hard on the 12 year old!

    I'm glad to meet another 'reflective' type! For lots of people it's absolutely not what they want to be doing when they quit - it's 'onwards and upwards and devil take the rest of it!'...which I understand completely.

    But ,for those of us with a mind made that way, it's fscinating to watch the wheels turning!

    All the best with your quit, Wes!

    Bill

  • Hi Wes, and welcome to the forum :)

    Your words strike a chord with me too.

    I woke up this morning with the feeling, "OK, I did it - I stopped smoking for over a month - I've completed the challenge - I proved I can do it - I,ve done my time.................soooooo.......

    CAN I HAVE A CIGARETTE NOW PLEASE????????

    I need to get that PMA back, if I am to survive this longterm

    Good luck to us all :)

    I have been quit for 1 Month, 3 Days, 9 hours, 33 minutes and 26 seconds (32 days). I have saved £161.98 by not smoking 647 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days, 5 hours and 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 17/02/2008 22:00

  • Barbara,

    What's PMA???

    Oh...Positve Mental etc!!

    Right!

    Never been too good at that myself!!

    I have found that being and staying on this lovely forum has kept alive the initial impulse somehow. doesn't feel like I've done any travelling down a road away from that..which is a distinct change for me. Feels light...feels good...and i'm still indanger of starting tommorrow, dammit!!

    i read a post from someone who said they went on a bender sufficient that they had no memory recall and their friends told them they hadn't smoked !!!

    Amazing!!

    I'm pretty certain I'm not that secure from the blasted habit.

    I hope you get back to feeling that original "pissed-off-with-this-f*****g -habit " frame of mind..it does make things easier.

    I'm still on the puffers, though, so storms may be ahead fro me too!

    Stay strong....stay focused...STAY QUIT!!!!!!!

    Bill

  • I hope you get back to feeling that original "pissed-off-with-this-f*****g -habit " frame of mind..it does make things easier.

    I'm working on it :)

    Stay strong....stay focused...STAY QUIT!!!!!!!

    My mantra for today :)

  • Hi guys just joined the forum.:)

    I could have wrote the opening post on this thread! I am at week 7 and for the past 2 days it has been SO hard.

    I am at the really really depressed stage of giving up,( it was so bad yesterday i balled my eyes out) thinking that 1 wouldn't hurt and I would feel better again. It would then give me the push to carry on giving up, does that make sense?

    messy.

  • Yes, messy. Totally with you there. I guess its the addiction trying to wiggle its way back into our lives :mad:

  • Hi Messy,

    I've heard lots of people have to go through a depressed stage...and it's tough.

    It's good to recognise what's happening , then you can take some steps to manage it. Maybe change what you're doing a little so that you get more positives from day to day...little ways to reward yourself and look after yourself. acknowledge that you do need some TLC and that this is a phase that will pass.

    Smoking is a habit that messes with us very deeply.

    Don't be fooled. if you start with 'just one' what you've lost sight of is your initial impulse. Yoy were driven to stop because you'd had enough of the whole sorry business. You knew then, quite clearly, that it solves nothing, gives you nothing and takes plenty.

    Stay strong!! We're here for you!

    Bill

  • Hi Messy

    Glad you could relate to the opening thread here. Easter weekend has just passed and I have to say for the majority I have felt pretty good. My Father in Law who gave up smoking 1 month ago has been persuaded back by the extemely reasoning 'Don Nico':cool:

    The type of pressure to start a new life for him was just too overwhelming at the moment and I hope he cracks it again soon.

    For me I did have a downer yesterday as I went to see my Step Father who has cancer, he is in the latter stages and has very little time left ( not a smoker). He has cancer of the colon and liver. Not a pretty sight, but it does make you reflect on things I find. According to Don Nico this is a prime example why smoking isn't always to blame for cancer so can't be that bad. 'Even the most healthy people die young and of cancer sometimes, so why give up something you enjoy!' Live for today!!

    He's convincing isn't he! But fortunately not convincing enough I've been here before and his persuasive reasonings are losing their strength!!

    Anyway, my point was that I was desperately seeking a pick me up yesterday and my brain was looking for the nicotine lift it's always relied in times like these. It was not forthcoming and again I felt depressed. What a sacrafice I'm making!! My wife (a non-smoker) after describing how I felt was quick to comment that this is what people feel and how bad people feel with these feelings as non-smokers and this was what they had learnt to deal with but without cigarrettes. They, having never smoked had always coped like this or by eating, drinking alcohol, etc. I reflected on this and accepted that once agin it was alearning curve without cigarrettes but it does get easier!

    I've always said stopping smoking is easy.

    The hardest part is not starting again::rolleyes:

  • Hi Messy

    Glad you could relate to the opening thread here. Easter weekend has just passed and I have to say for the majority I have felt pretty good. My Father in Law who gave up smoking 1 month ago has been persuaded back by the extemely reasoning 'Don Nico':cool:

    The type of pressure to start a new life for him was just too overwhelming at the moment and I hope he cracks it again soon.

    For me I did have a downer yesterday as I went to see my Step Father who has cancer, he is in the latter stages and has very little time left ( not a smoker). He has cancer of the colon and liver. Not a pretty sight, but it does make you reflect on things I find. According to Don Nico this is a prime example why smoking isn't always to blame for cancer so can't be that bad. 'Even the most healthy people die young and of cancer sometimes, so why give up something you enjoy!' Live for today!!

    He's convincing isn't he! But fortunately not convincing enough I've been here before and his persuasive reasonings are losing their strength!!

    Anyway, my point was that I was desperately seeking a pick me up yesterday and my brain was looking for the nicotine lift it's always relied in times like these. It was not forthcoming and again I felt depressed. What a sacrafice I'm making!! My wife (a non-smoker) after describing how I felt was quick to comment that this is what people feel and how bad people feel with these feelings as non-smokers and this was what they had learnt to deal with but without cigarrettes. They, having never smoked had always coped like this or by eating, drinking alcohol, etc. I reflected on this and accepted that once again it was a learning curve without cigarrettes but it does get easier!

    I've always said stopping smoking is easy.

    The hardest part is not starting again::rolleyes:

  • Anyway, my point was that I was desperately seeking a pick me up yesterday and my brain was looking for the nicotine lift it's always relied in times like these. It was not forthcoming and again I felt depressed. What a sacrafice I'm making!! My wife (a non-smoker) after describing how I felt was quick to comment that this is what people feel and how bad people feel with these feelings as non-smokers and this was what they had learnt to deal with but without cigarrettes. They, having never smoked had always coped like this or by eating, drinking alcohol, etc. I reflected on this and accepted that once again it was a learning curve without cigarrettes but it does get easier!

    Wez,

    don't fall for the myth of the nicotine lift.

    This is why non-smokers easily cope with situations...

    nosmokingday.org.uk/forum/s...

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