I shouldn't argue with my counter I guess. But this is not how I thought it would be. I don't know if I want to smoke. But I definitely want something. I want it now and it's driving me up a wall. I bet it's a cigarette
I think the previous days were worse. Day 4 was brutal, so I guess this is progress as today is just freaking weird... weird... weird.
Good things... hmm... I think I slept well last night, at least no sweats that I remember. Though I'm pretty sure I was thinking about a smoke when I awoke. But that has been replaced with this now nameless urge of wanting something. Something is missing. I am missing...
Nope, I'm still here. Babbling like an idiot.
Something else is missing.
What was that?
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I'm a Moo. A Moo that has been smoking since it was 14 years old. That was 24 years ago... not that it matters much. 3 years. 5 years. 24... a billion take your pick.
I never wanted to quit before. Maybe I still don't. But Mrs. Moo is carrying our first child. What am I supposed to do? But baby Moo isn't quite here yet. And Mrs. Moo has her hands full. So it's just me and this habit dancing around and around.
I used the 2 mg gum about an hour ago. The first time in 32 hours I used that. I'm on no system... the gum is my last line of defense when I'm just about to snap.
5 days. 15 hours.
I've been reading these boards for a while. I think they helped But today I needed to type. So I typed. It's hard here. Cigarettes are cheaper than coffee and there is a machine on every corner. Fortunately we have a lot of bridges too. So I buy packs and throw them off the bridge. It has cut into my "savings" but I have still earned 9 more hours on this planet I guess.
I quit once before... a loooooooong time ago... for 3 months! But it wasn't my choice, and it was doomed to fail. Is this time my choice? A little more for sure, it will be easier in April or May I'm sure.
It may not feel like your choice as circumstances have chosen the timing for you - so make it your choice. Grab this opportunity with both hands. There's never an easier time, there's always some reason why tomorrow would be a better time to stop. Don't reason, don't think about it - you've already come so far, don't cave now.
Congratulations on your quit, and of course massive congratulations on the baby. What better gift could you give your first child than smokefree parents? You know you don't want to smell around your baby, to worry about the health risks for both you and them, to maybe lie to them about it. You won't have to worry about any of that anymore.
Hope today's going ok for you, best of luck with it all.
Welcome to the forum Udderlymoo, stay with us and you will be as crazy as ever but still quit. its a mad house but great fun and fantastic support. xxx
Six Days, 8 Hours and 22 Minutes - We call it Day 7. Yes?
Ugly, bad sleep last night. But I think it was the evening coffee I drank during my last shift. I'm still fuddling with that new coffee/no nicotine ratio. That's obviously a work in progress with my 4 hours of sleep last night. That's not going to cut it
Yesterday really sucked... REALLY. If I had to do it again? I seriously wouldn't even bother. BUT today is the goodness so far. My first thought wasn't smoking. No gum today. Of course the day is young... it is a nice start for once. I'm going to do my best not to rock it too much.
If all goes well I will find my missing 4 hours of sleep after I destroy all cookies in a one block radius.
Clarity!? Goodness me, I didn't have it before I quit smoking. I wonder what that will be like.
Was that a craving or an urge? A longing? Repressed need? Flashback? I'm really not down with the smoking lingo I'm afraid. They come and go, whatever they are.
I'm 99% sure I won't smoke again. Wait a minute ... ... ... okay, yes. I'm 98% sure I'll never smoke again.
The main thing... the only thing that really stops me is I never want to go through this again. EVER. That's it. That's my whole philosophy. The rest of the anti-smoking lingo just rolls off me... "Want to be a slave your whole life?" oohhhhhh, I don't know... could work out. "Think of all the energy and clean things!" Well yes, I kind of liked being smoggy, depressed and cynical... it's how I met my wife for goodness sake. "Not one more puff! But he was a friendly dragon, wasn't he? I loved that song!
No, no, no. The only reason I'm still with this is because there is no way I'm doing days 1-6 again... tomorrow it will be day 1-7
Today was a lot better! (too many cookies... cookie belly) But I still wouldn't do it again unless it was day one. But it wouldn't be day one, because day one was evil... and the only thing more evil than day one was day two. See if I could push pause, take a quick smoke than come back and start exactly where I left off? That would be just wonderful Even Brilliant! But nooOOoo we have to go back to the beginning again. Bah!
Anyways, babble... babble...babble...
Wow, there are people here...
watching me...
I...
kind of like it :rolleyes:
Thanks for the words even. Maybe someday someone will read my humble posts and that will be 30 seconds they aren't smoking... returning the favor I guess.
is this day 7 now then, I can't count. Never had any clarity either but maybe I'll put it on my christmas list this year. Never doing days 1-6 again is a good enough reason not to smoke, it'll work for now and then soon you'll start thinking of more reasons.
Ye the best incentive for staying off them is remembering the early days you really do feel ill in so many ways - I reckon a sick cert for a week would do nicely. There's 2 quitters in my house one of us (not me) is over the one month milestone it can be hard at times - when the mood is good it's fantastic but boy when it goes well I think you all know anyway it's hard when there's 2 of us battling the same demons.
Logging on here really makes a difference gives you the extra motivation when your feeling low.
Hi Moo. It'll be a milestone tomorrow A WEEk, then you can babble about that. I talk to myself all the time. I'm the only one who can make any sense out of what i'm saying!!
Moo, I find your ramblings to be like a breath of fresh air. You're in my head, buddy. And I need that kind of understanding, right now...you really get it and can write about it. Thanks.
You really make me smile and these days (almost 4 days for me) have NOT been easy. I quit for two weeks back in October and they were pretty easy. All I did back then was breathe in and breathe out slowly, anxiety gone...I don't know why its so different this time around. The urge to smoke hits me so hard and so fast, out of the blue. I hate it. Maybe 'cause I know this is it. No more.
I really can't go through Days 1-7 anymore, either. That's a great reason for me to know I'm done. It's painful, almost...you know what I mean?
I wonder sometimes if posting here and reading here, makes me feel more anxious and nicotine deprived...?? It certainly gets me thinking about cigs more...then my leg starts shaking. LOL! And I get all tense.
Hi Moo, You are Crazy but reading your messages makes me chuckle sooooooooo much. Keep em up & for gods sake dont start smoking again cos we'll miss ya messages. your madness keep me going & prob more than me!!! Take care & look forward to your next one x debs x :confused:
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But today I needed to type. So I typed. It's hard here. Cigarettes are cheaper than coffee and there is a machine on every corner. Fortunately we have a lot of bridges too. So I buy packs and throw them off the bridge. It has cut into my "savings" but I have still earned 9 more hours on this planet I guess.
Day 20 Really Struggling :-(
still struggling day 6
