Here I Go (again)

Smoked last cigarette at 7.30 pm last night. Felt really confident for the rest of the night, infact didn't think about it much, just a fleeting thought which passed. Woke up this morning thinking, "OMG, why didn't I save that last cig till this morning" :o how sad, Have had every thought in the book and its only 10.04 am. This is the point where I usually nip to the shop, suposedly for bread or milk and come back with 10 cigs. Anyway, going out now to buy a game for daughters wii or ds. which ever one i think will keep me busy for longer.

Congrats to everybody that has quit and Good Luck to everybody that is quitting. ;)

16 Replies

  • Hang on in there.

    I love playing games on ds or xbox live.

    It does take your mind of fags.

    I think brain training is calling me.:D

    Barb x

  • Oooh ds brain game :D I want that!! is a good online gaming site too, got through many a crave there, also doodling, walking, scrapbooking and card making keep me very busy and occupied x x x

    Hang on in there x x x x

    A bottle of wine and some chick flick dvd's are great for slumping into a state of 'feeling sorry for myself' too :)

    Also keeping a journal may help you to keep busy and on the straight and narrow!

    Keep posting x x

    ~Buffy x x

  • Hit the brick wall again at 17 hours. :mad: Wouldn't mind but wasn't really struggling. went shopping this morning, everybody and his dog was smoking. The seed was planted. Took my daughter to a party and stopped at the shop on the way home. Sat in the back garden and thought what the **** am I doing again. Then did it again and thought this is really daft why am i doing this. Have been going on like this now for weeks, no years actually. I know I really dont want to smoke, and am only kidding my self:o . Think it is because i feel like i am setting myself up for a fall, Stupid I know. Get to concerned with tommorrow or next week instead of just concentrating on the now. Have to set me a new date again. God no wonder i am so bored. been living the same day over and over and over and over and over etc...Anyone know a good brain surgeon.

  • Ah looby *hugs*

    Serial quitters groundhog day, sucks!!! :mad:

    Just keep brushing yourself down and carry on quitting x x

    Plan better this time, write down your savings, what rewards to buy and when and try and find a hobby or such like to take up your time.

    'Me time' is paramount when quitting x x

    ~Buffy x x

  • Thanks Buffy, I definately intend doing that. Not going to let this thing beat me. Think I just think about things too much, need to just chill and not worry about it so much. Will get there. And next time will remember your moto. Have just found a little notepad that I can keep in my pocket. See you back here very soon. Lou xx

  • See you very soon x x

    Do keep posting x x


    ~Buffy x x x x x x

  • Hi Louby Lou!

    Stay strong. Or at least keep fighting.

    Tally Ho:)

    P.S. Louby Lou from Manchester sounds very familiar, are you on the glasto boards by chance? Arfx

  • Hi Cloud 9. I am gonna keep fighting this. Day 1 again tomorrow. (God how many times can I say that). Seeing as we never know how many tomorrows we have the next one has to be the one.

    p.s. No sorry not on any other boards.


  • Hey Louby, good for you to keep fighting, it's the right thing to do :D

    Just, I would advise not to rush it, I mean, not that taking months to decide would be a smart thing, but you also need to allow yourself to really understand what you're doing, why, how, etc etc - most of all make sure you've got under control the reasons for you failed the other times you tried! I think it's best to decide a date and then feel like quitting before that date, instead of the opposite - plan on quitting too early, too quickly. Sorry, I'm not judging you, but as you say you never went past day 1 there obviously must be something wrong in the way you're approaching your quit, and I'd love for you to figure out exactly what, hopefully with the help of this forum and other people who love you and care for you, before you launch yourself once and for all into this adventure that should be exciting, liberating and life-changing :)

  • Hi Looby, i kind of agree with Francesca. If you keep trying when you're not completely ready, and then failing, you will be having a negative effect on yourself by beating yourself up about failing - i should know i did it, i ended up hating myself and the cigs and left it about 3 months before i quit for good.

    You could try setting a date, say 2 weeks from now (or more or less), and plan your quit, as Buffy advises above, and in between now and then smoke LOADS, really sicken yourself of it and each time you smoke, really think about why and the taste and the smell and how it makes you feel. Then by the time you quit you might be more prepared.

    This is only my opinion - you do whatever works for you, you will always received support here.


  • Hi Francessca. Thanks for the advice. It is really comforting to know people are here. I have quit in the past. Once on patches for 5 weeks 5 years ago and again with Hypno for 2 weeks 2 years ago. Plus many half hearted attempts in between. My quit date was supposed to be 1st october. I do know now where I am going wrong. I just dont fight it. I give in at the first hurdle thinking that if i dont give in then, I will give in on day 2 or day 3 etc... I enjoy nothing about smoking. (apart from escaping into the garden every hour or so). lol. I am scared of failure. ouch that hurt :eek: OMG. only just realised that after writing it down. If I dont do it this time, I know that I will just spend the rest of my life putting it off. I cannot bear the thought of spending another Christmas Morning waiting for the kids to open their presents so I can rush off into the cold to have my fix. Smoking takes the enjoyment out of EVERYTHING:mad: . Going on holiday next year to Florida, in the past I have secretly scoured the Map to find the smoking areas so I can rush of while everyone else enjoys themselves on the rides. Cant let that happen ever again. Sorry for the long post. Sometimes we need to write things down. And then hey hit home with a BANG:)

  • Planning is a big part of success. Have a think about what has triggered you to smoke in the past, know what will be hard and plan how you will cope.

    For example, when you're at home getting stressed, still go outside, but take some big deeps breaths. Concentrate on the exhale rather than the inhale as when you're smoking you blow out more than you would in a normal breath.

    It could become a new habit, then in a few weeks when its freezing you won't want or need to go outside anyway!!!:D

  • Thanks Chocobunny. Thats really good advise. But I do have to do this now, it is driving me round the bend. Have been doing lots of planning since 1st October. I know that tomorrow will never come if I dont just make a commitment to myself and everyone else on here who has fought this dreadful addiction. I am going to give this 100%. Tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of my life.

    I am so glad that I stumbled across this board. It has really helped me face my fears and my demons. :D

    Thanks a billion to everyone :)

  • Aw Lou, to be able to write things down knowing they will be read by people who truly undertsand you is exactly the reason for this forum works and helps so much, so write away anytime you feel.

    And you do indeed want to quit so badly, and for such right and understandable reasons - I'm sure if you just plan it out a little better, sickening yourself out of your mind with cigarettes before getting to the last one like choco suggested (I did it that way and it worked great for me LOL), taking an ideal deep breath before quitting and taking the time to feel all the happiness that any well thought out decision should bring, you will succeed :)

    But first off, you need not to think about your quit in terms of days, weeks or months - that would kill anyone's optimism and strength!! :eek: You CARPE DIEM instead ;) Take each and every day as a blessing of your new you in your new life, explore each change, try and see even the cravings like the sign of the improvements you're making.

    And always keep in mind that only you can make yourself fail...I know it sounds dumb, but really, think about it. This is one of the few things that doesn't depend on anyone/anything else. Depression, arguments, bad moods, failures of all sorts - they're just excuses we make, but the awful yet reassuring truth is that we can overcome all those accidents/tragedies WITHOUT smoke, exactly like the non-smokers do...After that last ciggie, there's nothing else we have to do to be successful - we just have to keep NOT doing something :D

  • Aw Thanks Francesca. Really wise words there. Never thought of it like that before. Thank you. Lou

  • HI Looby

    Read my thread on wk2 entitled 'this is a first' It may help you!!

    Karen x

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