Day 5 depression

Well here I am.. made it to day 5, so far the day hasn't been that great. I'm sitting here bubbling and snottering and I've been doing that for a few hours now. I can't really figure out why I'm bubbling, just feeling a bit lost and upset. Some thoughts did go through my head about smoking, about how I feel like a bit of myself has gone, me so******ing with a fag, me having a cup of tea with a fag, me laughing or debating with a fag, sounds stupid eh? At the moment I don't feel like I'll be able to do any of these things again, another stupid thought. I tell myself it's stupid and that it's just my addiction but why doesn't it tell my hormones that?

I made an appointment with my school psychologist on Friday. I don't know whether she'll be able to help but anything's worth a bash. Autumn and stopping smoking are having a real fun effect :)

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  • Big hugs xx x x

    I promise you what you are feeling is totally normal x x x x x

    And you are nearly through this phase x x x x

    Just hang tight because tomorrow or the next day will be better and then everyday will become brighter!!

    Try an visualise your self smiling, laughing, being social and debating without a cigarette x x

    The mind is a powerful tool you use it don't let Mr Nicotine run it !! x x

    Go with the flow if you feel like crying cry!! but do try and do something else other than get in a rut x x slump around do a jigsaw puzzle? you can find them online if you have none there :D

    Read a book put on DVD Or do a drawing anything to keep busy x x

    Take good care and stay strong

    ~Buffy x x

  • Hang in there and stay strong! I'm on day 5 too, just sat here enjoying a cup of tea and yes, it still feels weird without the cig in the other hand, but I'm getting used to it. Whenever I think about having a cigarette I just think back to times in the past when I have stopped smoking, lost my willpower, lit one up and thought yuk, this tastes completely fowl, felt the burning sensation in my lungs as the smoke hits them, then felt very guilty, annoyed and angry with myself. I don't want to go there again, been there once too often! Day 5 now and feeling quite proud of myself that I've got this far...don't want to go back to day one again!!!

    You'll get there! x

  • Yeah the thought of going back (again) is not a good thought. I have to quit now or I might never get another chance. I guess the worst bit is that I can't seem to get on with normal life yet. All I want to do is mooch around at home cos it's freezing outside oh and I have no money to go shopping yet and so can't buy any more chocolate ;) Think I'm gonna go read a book and chill out some more, been doing it all day so far.. oh well.. :rolleyes:

  • Think I'm gonna go read a book and chill out some more, been doing it all day so far.. oh well..

    That's the spirit!!

    Enjoy the mooching ;)

  • Good drills HQ!

    Good drills for having a good cry HQ ! It does you the world of good to get the toxins out of your system and crying a great way to do it (that's why a lot of people get tearful when they pack the cigs in!)

    As for mooching about with nothing to do as you're skint - why not go for a brisk walk (I know it's cold but the exercise will do both your lungs and your depression good !!). While you're out, count how many idiots you can see smoking. Think about how black their lungs are becoming whilst yours are healing ! Try to find people huddled up for warmth or shelter who are smoking then laugh at just how silly they look. Do you honestly think that you want a fag at the moment ?

    All it would do is make you smell horrible and have a horrible taste in your mouth. D'ya think it would help ?

    Why not make a reward list for every day/week/month if you don't want to go out ? Then try to find pictures of each of the rewards and put them in a book so that you can look at them when you're feeling unmotivated !!

    It's something that I've done loads of times for loads of different things and works really well (it's a "goalfolder"). Granted it's a bit geeky - but then I'm a bit of a geek !

    Good luck and stay strong. You really are young enough for stopping to make a real difference for you ! (in the least-patronising voice I can find!)

    ;)

  • Stay strong - you are doing great!! I know it is so very hard and almost feels impossible, but we can all do this. Not smoking will not kill us it will make us live longer, smell better, feel healthier, be heathier, enjoy our children and grandchildren, be free from chemicals, be free from cigarette toxins, free from the nic demon, have more time on our hands, have more money in our wallets, enjoy the taste of foods, breath better, sleep better, walk longer, and have fresher breath!! I am sure I missed 10,000 more resons but they are all good reasons soooo ~ we should not be depressed we should be happy. I know we all feel lonely, bored, and like a piece of us is missing, but really we are gaining from being smoke free not losing :D Keep your head high and try to keep your thoughts from going into the dark cold place that the nicotene demon wants our thoughts to go.

    You are doing excellent! Keep it up :D

  • Dah dah dah.. Day 6.. Not feeling weepy today, my chest is still clogged up but every day it's getting better. I got dosh today so guess what I bought? Lots of chocolate.. haven't eaten any yet that's my reward for when I go to bed and watch a movie. Don't care about weight gain yet, will burn it off taking the dog out :) Tomorrow I have a meeting with a psychologist, am not quite sure what to say to her now, yesterday it was all drama (believe me I'm not usually a dramatic person), now it's not so bad. Still having trouble finding motivation to do anything oooh but today I wrote a Wordpress plugin just in case any of you have a blog. So at least I've been productive in something.. still haven't been back to school. Next week is a new week says I. How you all doing today?

  • Ahhh.. day 6, think I've turned a corner as things seem to be getting easier, day 3 being the worst so far. Getting used to drinking certain drinks now [like coffee, wine] without the desperate need for one of those little white sticks!

    Strangely enough just the smell of someone elses smoke if they passed me in the street today made me feel very sick. Has anyone else had this happen to them? Is this part of the giving-up healing process??

    Still getting a few cravings for sugary foods which is soooo unlike me! I'm far more of a crisp and peanuts type! I never usually eat chocolate, biscuits, cake or sweets but now find I am suddenly mesmerized by them and at least one of the above items ends up in my supermarket trolley!!!

    Keep up the good work everyone! I'm sure it's going to get easier day by day

    :) x

  • Dah dah dah.. Day 6.. Not feeling weepy today, my chest is still clogged up but every day it's getting better. I got dosh today so guess what I bought? Lots of chocolate.. haven't eaten any yet that's my reward for when I go to bed and watch a movie. Don't care about weight gain yet, will burn it off taking the dog out :) Tomorrow I have a meeting with a psychologist, am not quite sure what to say to her now, yesterday it was all drama (believe me I'm not usually a dramatic person), now it's not so bad. Still having trouble finding motivation to do anything oooh but today I wrote a Wordpress plugin just in case any of you have a blog. So at least I've been productive in something.. still haven't been back to school. Next week is a new week says I. How you all doing today?

    Try and keep a log, to remember those dramatic moments x x

    I do hope it goes well for you tomorrow x x

    These things do bring out a lot! and can be draining but so worth while

    *hug*

    ~Buffy x x

    Bella,

    Ah that corner is the sweetest one ;)

    Well done!

    your strength is a real boost

    ~Buffy x x

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