Oh Dear

Dear All

Well we went to the woods. My little boy had a turn (I think because he saw some other people by the pond where we were headed - his Autism makes him not cope with strange faces). He went crackers and punched me in the face and pushed me over. This went on for a while. Cheryl, the lady who helps me 3 hours a week, was great. Carried on with the walk but very stressed inside - kept seeing cigerrets hanging off the trees!!! And then began to play with songs in my head -

Wanna Cig (by the Cig Girls)

I tell you want I want what I really really want

So tell me what you want what you really really want

I wanna puff

I wanna puff

I wanna puff

I wanna puff

I wanna really really really really Cig A Cig AHHHHH

(there is more but it's anti-nic)

Anyway got home more stress. My little girl threw a wobbler - lunch on walls, floor, herself and me. Cheryl dragged me outside for a puff - she has the odd one. My husband left a pack of 10 for emergencies - he meant well as I can't get out easily - but on hindsite a mistake. Anyway didn't smoke the whole thing just a couple of puffs - but feel bad about it now - SORRY GUYS!!

Cheryl recons I'm under so much pressure I can't possibly think of giving up smoking now - it's all too much. But I'm going to do this as things wont change any time soon - it's all going to take years and I don't want to be smoking for years. I want to go to Centre Parcs in a month smoke free. That would make me so happy.

Riding was a stress today as well - Matthew (my little boy) ran off and had a paddy. Managed to get him sorted - his instructor is fab. Anyway back home now - feeling not too bad. I'm going to get rid of the emergency pack I think - but then I think maybe I sholdn't but then I think I must and then that will be that.

Thanks to you all - SORRY AGAIN!!!

Poppyfairyxxx(with a rather sad twinkle)

44 Replies

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  • Dear All

    Just to say I've binned the emergencies and the lighter - all gone now - I'll just have to chew the edge of the table instead!!!

    Poppyfairyxxxx(with a bit more gusto)

  • Poppy poppy poppy *Big Hugs* x x x x x x x x x x

    Take it easy deep breathes!!!!

    Ok this is about you x x

    Don't beat yourself up and don't stress any more than neccessary!!

    Can't lovely cheryl pick you up some nrt? or your hubby on the way in?? some nicotine gum maybe??

    Quitting is a positive thing x x not an added burden!!

    while cheryl is around can you take a long bath? read a mag?

    I am so proud of you x x

    How much you have achieved x x

    ~Buffy x x

  • Dear Buffy

    Thank you for your message - it's made me cry (and I don't cry much). Cheryl only comes to help me with the children, she can't look after them on her own as they are too challenging - so I can't get time out. But this is a bit of time out for me. It's just been a heavy duty week - but I can't stop thinking about centre parcs and how I wont have to hide behind the bbq to have a smoke so I wont be seen. Oh why am I crying - silly me. I'm going to have a piggiewiggie now.

    Poppyfairyxxx

  • Crying is great!! :D

    As is laughter, how much good would laughter be if we didn't cry too??

    Enjoy piggy and then smile, just break a smile!

    Even closing your eyes and taking 3 deep breaths can help ease the 'crunchy' feeling.

    :o crunchy? lol that tight het up feeling!? do you know what i mean? :rolleyes:

    Ah man lol you best come along tonight and have a giggle x x

  • Dear Buffy

    I guess because I have to be the really strong one in the family I keep all my feelings inside - and today they've just seeped out. I guess I feel a bit scared about how I will cope on my own without my cigs and I think that's what set me off - and all your kind words. Just eaten my piggie wiggie and pulled it's ears off with a lot of pleasure and had an opal fruit too. That's better a bit of sugar stuff.

    I'll be there tonight with my piggies and moet. At least the kiddies have been out nearly all day so got loads of fresh air and the amount of exercise they can manage - they both have muscle weakness etc. So hopefully it will be story time and then fast asleep time for them - and PARTY time for MOI!!!!!

    Thanks ever so for the support and a big hugxx

    Poppyfairy (with dried eyes)

  • Good x x x x

    Ahhh they shall sleep sound :) and you shall go to the ball ;)

  • Awwww poppyfairy!

    you seem to have such alot on your plate!! and to stop smoking with no help is BRILL!!:)

    just think positive and how much better you will feel! how much more energy you will have for all that fun at centre parcs you will have with the family! YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT(SMOKE-FREE) TIME!! just be strong,we are all on this site to help and support one-another:D (it has helped me loads!!)

    i feel soooo much better since not smoking! i've not had to use my inhaler, i don't wheeze anymore! i haven't thought about smoking at all untill today(i stopped on monday night). but the benefits outweigh.... 1)SMELLING LIKE AN ASHTRAY. 2)EASIER BREATHING!. 3) THE MONEY I'VE SAVED. ECT,ECT!the list is endless,and my hubby n kid's are sooo proud of me!!

    Plus it hasn't been as hard as i thought it would be,but thats with the help of the CHAMPIX from the doctor, and i have been reading ALLAN CARRS EASYWAY TO STOP SMOKING book. (it's worth a read and it does help)

    ANYWAY BE STRONG! YOU CAN DO THIS!

    Best Wishes.....poskit16k;)

  • WOW

    I am not worthy of you.

    You flippin amazing woman

    img482.imageshack.us/img482...

  • Dear Boudee

    I tell you what though Babes we are looking to FLY yes FLY down to Devon about April next year for our hols. The kids have never flown before as we anticipated disaster. Matthew is in the car 5 minutes and says 'are we there yet, I've got a headache. I'm getting out - takes off seatbelt tries to open doors. So being in a tin can in the air with a load of strangers seemed kind of a bad idea. However, flying down to the seaside - which only takes one hour - well that is kind of appealing. So I'll let you know when we book up, where we are going to be etc. and it would be great to meet up.

    I just went into the garden to save the washing on the line from the second soaking today and all I could hear were collossal screams from upstairs - all in the garden echoing around the other gardens. I've just lectured Jessi about the importance of taking responsibility and saying sorry. (as she never does) Matthew says sorry for everything - even if I spill a drop of milk! (you can never get a balance) No sooner was said lecture finished then she went bonker again because matthew touched one of her books. At that point I abandoned the peace conference and came down to play on the PS with Matthew and say Hi to you all.

    I hope you're having a good day amid your excitable house - particulalry after the refreshing start of breakfast in bed. I must admit my hair missed out today on it's usual conditioning of chocolate spread roll so that was a RESULT!! Are you doing anything nice this weekend?

    Take Care and Loads of Hugs

    Poppyfairyxx

  • Hi Poppy

    You are doing really well and love your song by the cig girls. Had me laughing out loud.

    Great about you flying to Devon.

    I love living down here.

    Keep it up.

    Barb x

  • Well the Hub is working till about 10.00pm tonight and then goes to work at 10.00am tomorrow and comes back at 10.00pm tomorrow night. So it's just me and the kiddie widdies. I don't drive which I know is totally useless of me - but I lived in London most of my life and you just don't drive in London - it's smelly tubes and armpits all the way! And now at 39 I'm too scared to learn. I did have nearly a year's worth of lessons but I think I made my driving instructor too nervous - she was gripping her clipboard about too hard - I think it was when I went up the curb and on to someone's drive that did it and nearly hit their car! I've accepted I'm one of those best off the road - hey I must be in the record breakers as being the only kid that failed their cycling profisioncy three times - yes three times - and the policeman was virtually giving it to me on a plate - the answers and showing me where to go etc. but I still boobed it and failed. Roads and me are a no no. Hell it's taken me 5 years to learn to steer Matthew's big disabled buggy - you know accidently on purpose banging those ankles when people start on us - whoooooops. So I think I'm trying to say it's going to be quiet but we do things together. No cigerettes today hey hey hey!!!!

    Have a great meal out and hopefully it will be excellent this time around. Are you going to dress up and look totally amazing - I think you should.

    Poppyfairyxxx

  • Jeans are the best - I don't have anything but jeans (all skirts etc have been relegated to under the bed). I'm drinking red bull with double wings as I have been feeling a bit dozy - just helped Jessi finish her chicken pie. I think it may be piggie wiggie time or a cup of tea and a biscuit yum yum. And tonight the dilema of dilemas what to tape. Dance X or X factor? I am hoping I can get Dance X on catchup (but a lot of the time it doesn't work) so I can tape X Factor - as when these are on it's bed time for the kids. I think DanceX has been great - Bruno's team is the best!!!

    Poppyfairyxx

  • Oh yes something to laugh at is great. I loved The Vicar of Dibley when that was on; the oFFICE, Blackadders, etc. etc. There's this show on a Saturday we have caught a bit of occassionally about 5pm to 6pm on BBC1 and they set people up in really funny ways - really simple but really funny. It's good for the soul is laughing. Silly things tickle me and like Pringles once i pop I cannot stop (laughing) - I guess that's why I got so many detentions at school writing lines - I must not laugh at Mr McCallister (500 times).

    Keep Laughing and Smiling

    Poppyfairyxx

  • Hey Boudee

    Phil Mitchell has just stayed at a hotel in exeter where a friend works. He only stayed thursday night with his 2 kids.

    I love eastenders and x-factor and bb and emmerdale and corrie and the list goes on and on.:D

    Barb x

  • Ohhhhh yes Johnny Dep (Captain Jack) is deeeeeeelishhhhhhhh!!!! I also think Ewan McGregor is really cool too as he's so rugged.

    Great Taste Boudee!!!! (does your hub look like Captain Jack???)

    Poppyfairyxx

  • COOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRR OR WHAT!!!!!

    THAT IS THE BEST PIC OF EWAN -HE'S SO SCRUMMY YUMMY!!!

    I don't know how to do the pic thing on here I'm going to have to fiddle to get it sorted.

    Anyway thanks Boudee that has made me feel loads better cos I was just feeling the crunchy cig feeling like I want one when I have Ewan instead - there is NO choice - It's Ewan night tonight!!! Way Hay!!!

    Loads of Hugs

    Poppyfairyxx

  • Oh yes just remembered Boudee we stayed in the same hotel as Barry from Eastenders a few years ago - (bit miserable though) - but does that count as FWOR or a BLURT??!!!

    Poppyfairyxx (have a great night)

  • Gosh Captain Jack just blows the wind out of your sails!!! But yes I'd be happy with Ewan - even with his enormous long beard that he has grown since doing his motorbike trek across Africa!! He looks a bit like David Bellamy!!

    Poppyfairyxxx

  • nothing wrong with a nice beard, if I may make so bold.. :D :D

  • I fear that Jack's is nothing more than a little lost facial whisp which at best could be described as a minor affectation. Now Brian Blessed's must be the model for what a beard should be IMHO:D

    Mine, I am reliably told, no longer smells of smoke, which is nice :D

  • now that's what I'm talkin' about... none of yer whispy second thought attachments hanging on by the skin of their folicles to be blown hither and thither by the slightest breath of breeze from the nearest weather system. Not, of course that Sir Jack's would fall into that category. Oh No.:o

  • Steveh

    Have you thought about beads and ribbons in yours?? (like cap'n jack)

    Poppyfairyxx

  • Well - he could always go for a change of colour - like old Billy Connelly?? How about a nice shade of purple - very funky? I wonder if you could get a glow in the dark colour????

    Poppyfairyxx

  • hehehehehe, these posts are hilarious, steveh after seeing your pic you would definately suit a rainbow beard I think, and looking in the mirror would brighten up your day! what more could you ask for? (only jokin)

    poppy im sorry you have had such a rough time of it, you are an inspiration, coping at home whilst going cold turkey?? wow thats fantastic, dont think i could manage that myself so hats off to you, dont forget though nrt is always there so should you still need it.

    Well done, charlene.

  • An informed source tells me that Jack's beads are in fact droplets of saliva and dribble:eek: :)

    Thanks for the suggestions guys.. dye, beads, ribbons.. mmm, I'll be back later, I have an appointment at the local poodle parlour, the only place which would take my booking :cool:

  • HAHAHAHAHAHA, that post gave me a real belly laugh steveh, I havent laughed like that in a long time! thanks.

    charlene

  • cant stop picturing you with a dyed beard and ribbons and things in your beard hahahahahaha.

  • boudee, you are a wanton hussy!

  • Morning Steveh

    Is the saliva and dribble because he says 'ooooooarrrrrrr' out of the corner of his mouth? Maybe it's a special type of conditioner - to make it all nice and glossy and shiney!!!

    Have fun at the parlour - wish I was coming - my hair is in urgent need of attention. I'm hopefully getting it done on Thursday - and getting some red - yes red put in it. (I was a punk in my younger years with a big black mohican and still crave those heady, or baldless moments).

    Have a great day Steveh and report back later with pic please!!

    Poppyfairyxxx

  • yes steveh we definately need a picture heheheh!

  • Morning Boudee

    Hope you're well and had a great eveing (with no interuptions) last night.

    Lots of hugs

    Poppyfairyxx

  • I thought you was going for the freebie meal?

    Poppyfairyxx

  • Charlene's going camping too!!! It must be something in the air - that adventurous spirit. Are you all going - kids, hub everyone? Have you been before and did your boys love it? We have a tent but we've not gone anywhere in it yet - kids are too cagey- but I'm up for it!!

    Poppyfairyxx

  • 62

    nuff said I think. Starting legal proceedings to get my money and self respect back. Managed to stop them before they started the tail clipping.:eek:

  • 62

    nuff said I think. Starting legal proceedings to get my money and self respect back. Managed to stop them before they started the tail clipping.:eek:

    ROFL Very good!! :D lollol very good!

    I am laughing loud

  • STEVEH

    You look amazzzzzzinng!!!!! Did you decide to not go for the ribbons and beads?????

    Captain Steveh has arrived!!! ooooooooarrrrrrrrrrr (mind the dribble though)

    Poppyfairyxx

  • 63

    I think, on closer examination, combined with a minimal knowledge of naval ranks, that you'll find I out-rank Jack.. Dribble or no dribble. Personally I've always favoured the controlled drool:cool:

  • Eye Eye Admiral Steveh

    Does that mean you get to be the driver on the boat and steer that big wheel thing? OOO and you would decide who walks the plank................................................................................(oops forgot about that)

    Poppyfairyxx

  • I know Boudee - just needs a few ribbons and beads and bells!!

    Poppyfairyxx:)

  • hehehehehehehehe lovin the "do" steveh its very becoming, could do with some beads like mr depp though i think........

    lol, charlene.

  • my son just saw your picture steveh, hes only five and he is literally rolling on the floor laughing saying look at that silly man witha a rainbow beard! hehehehe

    you made his night.

  • thanks Charlene, think I might give the beads thing a miss actually.. though it does take me back to Haight Ashbury in '68!:D

  • Ah how i miss my parents tales of hippiedom! :p lol albeit i don't think they went to san Francisco! my dad used to hang out in spain and the pub :p lol

  • Stress

    Hi there

    I have a son with ADHD so i know how stressful things can get. However all i can say to you is smoking saps the energy big style and you like me will need all the energy you can get to deal with it. I probably started smoking again due to the stress of my lad but in hind sight it doesnt help , it hinders. Thats why this time i am determined...... GOOD LUCK TO YOU

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