Hello everyone - Does anyone know of a therapist who has experience helping people with transplants and the donation process? I'm having difficult feelings I don't feel proud of related to who in my life has or has not offered to get tested...and then who has followed up with the testing; but cognitively, I'm well aware that donation isn't for everyone. I don't want to feel critical though. I have people in my life I'm close to and would usually talk to about my feelings, but in this case I'm reluctant because I don't want them to think that unless they volunteer to get tested I'll have feelings about them too. In a nutshell, I want someone to talk to about my feelings who is out of my circle.
Any leads on therapists who have experience with what we're going through?
Thanks,
Jen
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wonderingjen
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The whole lack of mental health support through the whole process of CKD is lacking. I am finding that I want support too while I grapple with my life on dialysis. I would suggest you call your GP and see if they have any recommendations for someone who is versed in this arena.
Try asking at your renal centre. I have 3 different hospitals that I attend regularly, and every nephrology department has a renal psychologist that they can book you in with. They're not there to talk about the actual medicine, but they're more aware of the sideline issues than a normal therapist. I've seen my renal psych a few times to discuss life in general and found it to be helpful.
Even if your centre doesn't have one on staff, you won't be the first person to have asked and they'll have someone they can point you to.
I am so glad to hear that there are some centers that have renal psychologists - and that the term even exists!
I have been very frustrated by the lack of mental health care through the ckd and transplant process. I have asked at my transplant center (which is highly regarded) more than once and there really isn’t any help. There are social workers there whose job appears to be to make sure people have the support to take their meds on time and doesn’t seem to go beyond that.
I have also asked what search terms to use to look for that expertise. The third time I asked the social worker finally said to look at Psychology Today online and use the search term “chronic disease” in their specialty list.
I have a friend who had a major cardiac issue at the same hospital. They have specialized psychiatrists and therapists as part of their department who are available for ongoing help. Why not in the transplant department?
I appreciate this topic and any help people can offer about how to get connected to a therapist with expertise in renal issues/transplant. I will search for renal psychiatrist as a start. Thank you for sharing that term.
Hi TeacherMommy, I also appreciate the suggestion of using the term chronic disease or illness. I'll look using that too. And hope you are able to find some support as well! Take care.
If all these suggestions failed, try contacting the Psychological Association in your state and ask for list of psychologists who work in the health care area. Health Psychology is a whole area of practice and exists mostly in or around hospitals. BTW I thought there were counselors associated with this forum who may be doing this kind of work. I guess you could contact one of the administrators to find out. Bottom line most experienced psychologists/counselors could help you dealing with these difficult feelings. Good luck. Hope you can get some help soon
If you’re in the United States, you need to find someone licensed to provide therapeutic services in your state. Therapists are generally not universal and cannot provide services across state lines if they’re not licensed in a particular state.
Hi Jen. The transplant hospital was extremely protective of all doner info. Some who offered were open and others not. It was quite the process. I remember feeling guilty for needing someone's kidney. Asked my family on Christmas 1986. Started dialysis the next day. Really hope you find what you need!
Thanks for your response, twicerecipient. It appears from your name (the "twice") that you may have eventually gotten a transplant? I hope you're doing well!
I have used Betterhelp and continue to use it to this date. I got lucky I got a Therapist with primary care experience. You can always try and switch your therapist easily if it is not a good fit
I literally just yesterday looked on the BetterHelp website! Good to hear you've had a good experience with them. Thanks, AvatarState - I appreciate it.
You are doing wonderfully because you are fully aware of your unusual mixed feelings, and you care deeply about feelings of others. The urge to find a therapist to support you is the sign that you already began the self care process for yourself and that is great. Not knowing your insurance situation or location I don't have any specific advice to give on who to contact, but your transplant care team definitely can and should give you referral.
I would like to stress that any new and mixed emotions you are going through is normal and expected when we go through major changes in life. The tips that I find helpful to keep myself grounded is to increase self care, do more things that brings joy to life, allow your mind to wonder to feel guilty or bad, but remind yourself that they are normal responses to new situation but the negative feelings do NOT control you. Treat them like passing clouds. Observe without responding.
Take care and I hope you feel more supported with a trusted professional soon.
When I was preparing my 4 kids for my death from kidney failure I was alone tell a coworker had me come to a support group at her church for mental health. I had a lot of anxiety at that time. I also my husband had left me for another woman because I was dieing of kidney failure. My kids and myself didn't have much family they had either passed, lived far away, or didn't talk to us. That group help me a lot just to talk and we even talked about my kidney failure and why I was choosing not to do dialysis. With all of this chaos I decided to try dating! LoL I ended up meeting someone who offered me his kidney. He was a match and 5 months after we met I got my transplant. The emotions you go through are crazy but I did find a therapist that I really like. She does not specialize in dealing with transplant patients. I will say you might have to try a couple different therapist to find the right one for you but don't give up. Your mental health is important! Oh the day of my transplant my ex husband had our divorce finalized so I didn't have his health insurance that was my parting gift no insurance but life! Good luck and if you ever need to talk message me.
Hello littlelinda50 - Thank you so much for your response! You've been through so much. I'm so happy for you that you found a new love; and what an amazing man to give you his kidney too! What a beautiful love story. I'll keep looking for someone. I really appreciate your offer of support. Thank you! And best wishes to you!
Thank you and I am not with the wonderful amazing man that gave me his kidney! We are still friends and email often. I actually met someone on the same dating site and he is amazing too. I thank God everyday for my donor being so selfless. I have a picture of us in the hospital a day or so after my transplant we are both smiling it's one of my favorite pictures!
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