New here, advice needed to support Dad.

[Dad_on_dialysis]

Dad is 81 and is just starting his 6th year on dialysis. We were aware that there would be a time limit to its effectiveness and we think he is reaching that now. He barely eats and I wondered if that's common? Also he is suffering from a painfully swollen stomach in the evening and I wondered if that was common too?

[OperationKidney]

Sounds like there might be some constipation going on and perhaps fluid retention. I imagine at his age in combination with the kidney disease all of that is pretty normal. I'd mention it to his nephrologist next time you see them. In the event this is a sign he's reaching the end of his life I wish you the best through the grieving process ❤️💚 please come back here if you need support!!

[drmind]

Has he discussed these problems with his nephrologist? And, why are they not looking into this at the dialysis center. My thoughts are that he may need some daily assistance with meal preparation and meal planning as well as some help in talking with his medical team about these problems. Does he live alone? Can someone go with him to consult with his nephrologist?

[Dad_on_dialysis in reply to drmind]

It's been very difficultnduring COVID as no-one can attend with him. We can't guarantee what (If any) conversations are happening at dialysis as Dad is forgetful and also afraid. Our local hospital isn't the greatest at access to the higher renal team but I think we will just have to try to intervene on his behalf.

[drmind in reply to Dad_on_dialysis]

If you cant go to the doctor and dialysis appts with him then could you phone them and tell them the problems he is having. These may be easily fixed. Sounds as if he cant advocate for himself then someone in his family has to do it for him. Be persistent. Good luck. Keep us posted.

[Darlenia]

Oh my, I feel for you and your father. I agree with suggestions above that this be brought to a doctor's attention quickly. It's definitely not unusual for seniors to have stomach issues. If it's a stomach blockage, most can be fixed through medications, other times through surgery. Then again, it could be something completely unrelated to that. It's lovely that you're there for him. We all will reach a point where will need assistance from others. Sending encouragement that you find answers soon to the situation.

[RhenDutchess123]

Can your Dad request a Tele-Med Office Visit with his Nephologist and have you attend to help show Doc what his situation is ?...

[07gmctruck in reply to RhenDutchess123]

the drs.at my dialysis center make rounds once a week that is when you can tell them if you have a problem, or they always ask if there are any problems or let the head nurse know and they will tell the dr..has your dad said anything to his dr. or any of the nurses? i am lucky to have a dr. and staff who really care. Good luck

[Dad_on_dialysis in reply to 07gmctruck]

Unfortunately we are learning that Dad interacts minimally with the dialysis team (we think out of fear) so we have to find a way to liaise direct but it's extremely difficult locally to do that.

[07gmctruck in reply to Dad_on_dialysis]

Can you talk to his dr. personally? Sometimes you to have to be persistent. I think stomach problems and constipation are part of dialysis among other things. Good luck keep trying.

[Dad_on_dialysis]

We can't attend with him unfortunately so we are trying to contact the Nephrologist (the only way we can, via his secretary) 🤞🏻

[Juliepkd in reply to Dad_on_dialysis]

Hi. Contact the Sister in charge at his dialysis unit and explain your concerns. She will have direct access to the renal consultants. I am assuming your Dad is under NHS treatment through your local hospital. Most NHS units are nurse led and in my experience are very prompt at dealing with issues, but only if they know about them! I really hope that you can help your Dad resolve his problems, very best wishes, Julie

[Dad_on_dialysis in reply to Juliepkd]

Thanks Julie, yes I completely agree. I live 100 miles away which makes it hard but I spoke at length to mum this weekend and hopefully she is going to try to intervene. We think dad isn't telling the unit the whole truth.

[Randy1805]

Tell them your dad can't remember anyting. And someone needs to be there to explain it to him. Insist that you go with him.

[KellyLS]

Just wondering if you ever considered being (or finding) a living donor for your dad? I’m in a similar predicament w my 79 year old mom

[Dad_on_dialysis in reply to KellyLS]

I'm afraid not. With his other medical conditions, here in the UK he was told he won't be eligible. Plus, both he and my Mum have exactly the same kidney disease meaning my siblings and I have a 75% chance of I Heritage the disease too so we wouldn't be able to donate.

[KellyLS]

Sorry to hear that. I hope all goes well for your dad (and you, your mom, and siblings!)