Who has had a rainbow baby? - Pregnancy and Par...

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Who has had a rainbow baby?

Desidel profile image
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I’m really struggling... I want a baby!! I’ve wanted another for the past like 9 years. I’m still so damaged from my last two miscarriages.. first one was in 2019 I was 7 weeks when they told me I lost the baby. I miscarried at 11 weeks. It wasn’t so so bad we found out pretty early that the embryo and fetal pole didn’t develop. The miscarriage it’s self was ok at first, then I lost too much blood and had to be rushed to the hospital and had a d&c. 7 months later we tried again and got pregnant! Baby had a heart beat it was growing I was starting to feel him move! But I kept bleeding I kept going to the dr and they just said he’s alive... I ended up having a hematoma (blood) behind my cervix and it was detaching my placenta. My body went into labor the baby dropped down and I started to loose him. Hospital sent me home but I had to come right back the labor was so bad!! Just like a normal labor the contractions were getting closer and closer I was bleeding so much!! And finally he came out but alive... I got to hold him as he passed <\3. I was still in pain I couldn’t push the placenta out and I ended up passing out. They gave me blood then went for another d&c then needed more blood.. it felt so so bad to not be able to move or get up and the pain!!!!. I never ever want to go through that again!! But I want another baby.... I’m just so damn scared! I’ve even had to get therapy.. we cremated our son. This past may 27th was a year since we lost our Christopher. How how can I get over this and try again????? I just don’t want to feel that way again it’s so bad!! Should I just give up on the dream?? I have two kids, boy and girl. My youngest is my daughter with Down syndrome. I don’t want to take a chance and die for another kid but I see so many people having rainbow babies...ughhhhhh

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Desidel profile image
Desidel
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4 Replies
Bigblueskies profile image
Bigblueskies

I’m so sorry you had to go through such traumatic losses! It is no wonder you feel so scared to try again. We have such little control and ability to predict what our bodies and our babies will do as they develop into a pregnancy, there is no real reassurance anyone can ever give us. Every attempt is a step into the unknown but there is always hope it will be ok next time.

I had two losses, 3 babies as the last was twins. I had a healthy lovely daughter in between and I’m pregnant now and all seems to be going ok (touch wood!). The losses never left me, each pregnancy after is full of anxiety and worry.

Frankly I thought I might want to try for a third one but the experiences of pregnancy and loss are too much for me. I hope this baby is born healthy and then I can put this reproductive roller coaster behind me and focus on my children and my life.

I hope with all my heart that you will find your happy ending, only you know what the best rainbow is for you and what uncertainty you can cope with, after all you’ve been through. You might simply need more time before trying again to get stronger and clearer on how to cope with the inevitable risk pregnancies bring.

Big hug! Xx

SRA8 profile image
SRA8

I'm so sorry for your losses. It sounds very traumatic.

I’ve just had my rainbow 🌈 baby after 3 mmc at 12w and 2 chemical I also have 2 kids 15&13. Miscarriages are so hard emotionally and if you’ve had an awful experience physically aswel I can understand you still wanting but scared something might happen again x

Olivecraven profile image
Olivecraven

I had a miscarriage last March, it was the worst experience ever, at the time it feels nothing will ever be the same again, you’ll never be happy again or even love again….. you feel such a connection with your baby right from the start and it’s devastating when that comes to an end. The best advice I can give to you is wait until your body is ready, I went months taking tests, panicking when I wasn’t pregnant, having mental breaks downs etc until one day I decided to let nature do it’s job, j stopped taking tests and putting myself down when I wasn’t positive and a week later I had a strange feeling I was pregnant and turns out I was.

6 weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, my little rainbow baby 🌈

I will never part with the memory of my angel baby 👼🏻 but my little boy sure has filled that part of my heart that was missing.

Let your body recover and see how things go, see how you feel and then do whatever feels right for you! Only you will know whether it’s time or not. Don’t give up ♥️

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