Any advice welcome

Hi everyone, yesterday my dear friend (who was due 3.5 weeks after me- May next year) phoned me to say that she'd had some bleeding the night before and having gone into hospital yesterday she was told that there was no heartbeat. From the size of the embryo,this happened about a week ago when she was about 7.5 weeks pregnant. She has now been told that she has two options: to wait for the baby to naturally abort; or to go under general anaesthetic and have it removed. She is really scared of general anaesthetic so they've said she can have up to 2 weeks waiting. I spoke to her this morning and she's still feeling all the symptoms of pregnancy, sore boobs, nausea etc although her baby has died. Is it not possible for her to take something to speed up the miscarriage? Does anyone know anything about this or have any words of advice? This would have been her third child, she has an 8 and 10 year old and I don't think she's worried for future pregnancies at this point, just how long she may have to wait for this one to finish ending, if you see what I mean. Thanks for reading, any words of wisdom would be appreciated.


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9 Replies

  • I let nature take its course with mine, took about three or four days after the initial bleed, plus I think medical intervention could do more harm than good sometimes unless really necessary so unless there's good reason I'd personally wait the two weeks...I think if the body is bleeding already then it knows...

    Bless her though, I know how it feels xx

  • Thanks sootysgirl, that's reassuring :) apparently she's stopped bleeding, since the little bit on friday night but a friend of ours has offered acupuncture which could help start it up again I guess. Thanks again xx

  • Are they definitely sure that there's no heartbeat? I would want them to make doubly sure before they do anything as it has been known before that a heartbeat has been found before a d&c, I read that somewhere.... X

  • I also let nature take it course wth mines . I bleed for abt 5 days after

  • Yes I also think she shuld wait for abit then I have anther scan.

  • I second what Sootysgirl said... A friend of mine had a scan before an ERPC and they found a heartbeat. It is a terrible time for your friend

  • I too have found myself in this position twice before and on both occasions I wanted nature to take it a course, the 1st took a matter of days as I felt at the time this is directly linked psychologically and the 2nd took about 6-9 days, I believed that whilst most of the pregnancy had passed on day 6 I was still having a great deal of pain so I think my body was still trying to expel and so the Monday after Friday MC I has one enormous sharp pain and then no more.

    I hope for your friends sake this is no dragged out and MC is a very lonely pain & heartache, no one Truely understands it unless they have been through it themselves.

    I wish her well and all the best with your pregnancy Xx

  • Hugs for your friend. It truely is a horrible and lonely thing to go through, I've had 3 miscarriages, the 3rd just 2 weeks ago. I had excessive bleeding with mine so was booked in for an emergency d&c. My other 2 miscarriages were over 17 years ago now - times have changed since then though. All you can do is be there for her. She will have some good days and some that are shocking. Regardless of how many children you have, or if the pregnancy was planned or not - the loss causes a heartache that words can not express. Sending your friend much love. xx

  • Thanks everyone, I've directed her here to see your kind comments.. I'm so sorry those of you who have been through this before. Thank you fopr sharing your stories. The first step seems to be a second opinion since she's still not actually bleeding and her pregnancy hormone level was sky high on Friday when they checked... will keep you posted xx

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