Confused? Not pregnancy related

Hi ladies, wanted some advice, just come across something which leads me to believe my partner has lied to me about his past. Just come across a receipt for an abortion clinic dated 2 years before we met with a girls name on it. He claimed before they were only friends although she wanted more & although she isnt around anymore I also saw emails were she has been trying to meet up, I didn't mean to snoop was just looking for paperwork. Should I ask about it or let it go? I know everyone has a past just hurts that he didn't tell me the truth.

7 Replies

  • if its going to eat away at you and potentially cause problems in your relationship then I would ask him. I would do it in a non-confrontational way though as this all happened before he met you. good luck.

  • I agree with the 1st comment/reply made by coney-em.

    I had a simular problem with my other half a few years ago, i knew he had a past but whenever i would bring it up in a conversation he would get upset about it which obviously made me think he was hiding something from me.

    It turned out that he's last partner (before he met me) was abusive towards him & would lie about it whenever someone tried to help them.


  • thanks ladies, im still not sure if its worth bringing it up, i know there is stuff about my past i dont like talking about so everyone has a past. I have no doubt he loves me and the little man just as I know he would never cheat on me, would bet my life on that and I saw he didnt reply to the emails asking to meet up etc so still trying to weigh up is it worth the hassle whne its so long ago and I do believe that there is not really any need to go into too much detail about ex's anyway. Its just the shock that he lied about it when hes been so completely open about alot of other stuff.

  • Hey! If I were in your shoes I'd not say anything because I hate confrontation in every way shape and form! If you are confident he would never cheat and has ignored this woman's attempts to contact I'd feel it's just not worth the hassle (but that's just me!) I would imagine it was a difficult time for him and perhaps not speaking about it, trying to forget about it is how he dealt with it. Another option is to drop into conversation you were looking for something and found the receipt and if he feels he wants to speak about it then that's fine but if he doesn't then that's also fine and you won't push him. X

  • Why would someone keep an aborion receipt? I agree that it's probably best not to bring it up (as if he's wanted you to know he'd have told you about it), but it's whether you are Nle to let it go or not.

  • If it was me I would calmly confront him about it. You are right, we all have a past but be prepared for whatever he is going to say. He could very well deny it and say he went with her as a friend to support her. You wanna make sure you are willing to believe that if he says so.

    However, it does seem odd that he would keep such a receipt. Especially in a new relationship. So could very well be completely innocent.

    He may very well have had a quick fling with her and because she was wanting more hes backed off and not given you the full story to make you paranoid (which is understandable).

    Either way hun, good luck.

  • thanks ladies, I've been thinking about it all night, I dont think he intentionally kept it, it was bundled up in a load of old paperwork and when I was looking for something else I came across it. I've decided I'm going to let it go, we all have a past and I can kinda understand why he didnt tell me especially since when her name first came up I was pregnant so I would have found this all very distressing. I know he loves me and I know he would never cheat on me and whatever went on between them I know it hadn't gotten to the meeting the friends and family stage so whether it was a fling or a relationship starting I dont know but have decided to let it go. I appreciate all your advice and help. I knew I could count on you ladies for honest advice and support x

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