Pregnant with First child and going to be a single mum.

[Sweetheart08uk]

Hi,

I'm currently 18week + pregnant with my first child, and unfortunately the father has decided he doesn't want to be involved in this babies life and the way he's acted i don't think he deserve to be a father either (Very long story sorry).

I have briefly looked into it buts its all very confusing, and would appreciate any help or advise?

I would just wondering what financial help i would get from the government for being a single parent?

i intend on having my full 6 months maternity leave but then will be going straight back to work and the little one with need to go into nursery.

Any help is much appreciated :-).

[2princes1princess]

Hi hun, he sounds like a a**e lol xx

Im not in same situation however when pregnant with our third child I looked on to a website called 'entitledto.co.uk' it tells you what will get and was pretty spot on for us with child tax credis si id definitely have a look on there hun. Hope this helps you a little bit. Xx

[Flossy1688]

Hello,

Its like you have read my mind i have just been looking on the internet at benifits im entitled to, i am in a relationship with the father but he is in the army based 4 hours away, when he does come home hes only here for 2 nights i am still classed as a single parent, but i also still live at home, how come you are only having 6 months off i am having 9 off, (39 weeks) first 6 weeks are 90% of my wage last 33 weeks are SMP? i am currently 26 weeks 2 days

x x x

[Sweetheart08uk]

Um with my work i can take the extra 3 months off but it will be unpaid and i obviously can't afford to do that. Well until i know how much help I'll be getting from the government, i've just assumed best just take 6months and then get back to work.

thank you 2princes1princess i will take a look at that website :-).

[Hidden]

yes go on entitledto.co.uk, very good website, or if u would prefer to speak to someone, try the citizens advice bureau or jobcentre as it is all very confusing and I have trouble filling in forms for the simple things. I have to go back to work after 6 months too as SMP payment is rubbish (in my opnion) compared to my wage now. it wouldn't cover anything. x

[Hidden]

Firstly can i just say what a massive B**tard your ex-partner is.

Im so sorry about the descision you've had't to make but hopfully it will all be for the best.

I also just wanted to say as well all the benefits your entitled to get from the government you should also get the contact details for child maintaince as you didnt make the baby alone & the father should not be able to get away with not providing maintainence for a child he helped to create.

This process does take time though & in some cases you may need to provide proof of paternity depending on how each parent is willing to correspond.

Stay strong & you'll get through it

All the best xx

[cheekymonkey3791]

Like the saying says...'Any Dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a Father!'

Saying that I am sorry that you find yourself in this position and hope very much that you have a good support network around you.

Just because he wants nothing to do with the upbringing of your child does not mean he gets to walk about Scott free....Contact the CSA Hun, he needs to support you and your child regardless of involvement I am sure of it. Xx

[cheekymonkey3791 in reply to cheekymonkey3791]

Can I also say what a lovely face you have...your ex is a Muppet! Keep smiling Hun and we'll support you best we can when you ask for it xx

[Hidden in reply to cheekymonkey3791]

Totally agree. No man should be able to get away with not supporting his child.

Just like you said Any dick can make a baby..........

[Flossy1688]

hello again,

My mother in law has just text me saying she has got some information from the finance department at work and also im going to see my cousin this weekend who was a trained accountant till she had to give up work to care for her disabled daughter she is going to help me look into things, so i will keep you updated.

Also slightly different circumstances by my best friend got pregnant with her second child and was unsure as to who the father was, she did paternity after he was born, although proved to be his dad the father wanted nothing to do with him although he was helping his girlfriend raise her son, My best friend has done an amazing job, she also went back to work and her two children are happy and healthy and want for nothing, my mum did it on her own financially she never asked my dad for anything

Your little baby is very lucky to have one very caring parent and me, my brother and my mum have the closest relationship possible, and everything we have is thanks to her we never went without.

x x x

[Hidden]

If U go back to work ur be entitled to child tax credits. .. and help towards childcare. . If U want to go back to work they keep ur job open for a year don't they? After Ur maternity pay finishes u can apply for income support if urin a rented property u can get help with housing benefit and council tax benefit and then return to work when baby is a year old u can x

[laurah123]

i feel for you. im in same position. the father of my baby left me. he came to hospital to visit me and tell me he didnt want anything to do with the baby when i was about 9 weeks. i had hyperemesis so spent 5 weeks in hospital at that time.

He smashed my phone up so i couldnt contact him or anyone and got instantly banned from the hospital.

im 32 weeks. in full time work and expect to take 9 months off. (the next 3 months after this is non paid). im not entitled to any benefits. not even the sure start grant of £500. as i work full time. the council have now given me a two bedroom home but i have to pay full rent on it. and bills. i know when i finish for maternity i will get child tax credits then when i return im sure its working tax credits. but thats all you get if your a full time worker.

The council suggested i cut my hours but i would never do that. im lucky that i work in the local hospital so my baby can go to the nursery here on site and i get discounted rates. but thats 2/3 of my weekly wage gone still.

xx

[Sweetheart08uk]

thank you so much for all your comments and feedback guys it really means alot i think i may go to a local citizen advise bureau that's just around the corner from where i live and see what help they can give me.

to all those who have said he shouldn't get away with not paying for the child he helped create, you are all correct but the way he's been i don't want him anywhere near me or my child. I may feel different later on but right now i could murder him :-/.

think maybe his ears have been burning cause he messaged me today much to my shock and i think its finally hit him whats he's done.

i shall keep you all updated with what happens.

Thanks xx