i was texting with a friend about a concert my husband and I went to(it was the Stones-very amazing)and she wanted to know whether or not we used a chair. i was still texting about the concert itself when she comes back with i hadnāt answered her question. so then she asks whether we always use the chair or a walker like she does(due to illnesses we havenāt seen each other in a minute). at this point itās starting to feel a little invasive. then she asks can i still work or had i retiredā¦i may be overthinking this which is why i welcome all opinions.
you guys are awesome awesome awesome!!! thank you for allowing the much needed ventš
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HouseElfWon
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While it's rude to interrupt your fun story, I think your friend may be trying to find out if you are in similar situations š¤·āāļø I can't tell from that, but I can see it two ways, and I don't want to be a turd.
i was thinking that too-it could totally be that. it just seemed a bit invasive when i read it. i recognize i could totally be overthinking this and iām the problem-lol. ā¤ļø. in the past she has been snarky about some things and that may be affecting my current reaction. she once said that we are so lucky that our husbands didnāt leave us because of our disabilities. i ignored that one because while I know that it happens itās kind of a tasteless thing to sayā¦.
It's hard to gauge negativity sometimes. Did you ever get to report the good part about your concert to her? That's the telling part, if she's able to share in your joy.
Greetings HouseElfWon.. I think your friend is focusing on the wrong thing. We all progress differently. Stress plays a part in it. We're dealing with a chronic disease. Worrying about the progression is not helpful. This is often easier said than done. Seems as though your friend possibly had an exasperation and her symptoms got worse. She's focusing on why me and not you. Mentally this condition is taxing. You have to focus on what you can do and stay positive. It takes work but you can recover some things. Hope you enjoyed the concert. Do what you can while you can . MS is a journey. Give your friend a few days to deal with her situation. Talk to her but more importantly listen. Sometimes you can feel alone in this journey.
sounds like youāre getting some weird vibes from your friend. Can you ask whatās going on? Canāt tell if your friend is trying to compete with you ( chair vs walker) or something else. Thanks for sharing it though. Helps me think through things too.
I have a friend that believes we should always look at the intention behind what a person said or did. Being an over thinker myself, sometimes this quickly eases my mind. Not knowing her, I wonder about a couple of things. Was she trying to have a better mental picture of you at the concert, or of what it would be like in a chair at the concert while you told the story? Was she having a bad day and impatient? As you said she has been snarky before I wonder if she is just plain unhappy. The comment about feeling lucky your husbands haven't left is way out in left field. It is a negative way of looking at it. Gratitude is something to feel for good things in our lives. Not gratitude because something negative didn't happen. Looking at the negative possibilities first is a joy blocker for sure. Sometimes I think being able to predict possibilities in a situation with a friend is helpful. If you know she is not really happy and that her comments will start out from that standpoint, but that she will get to the part where she is happy for you....that would be manageable. See...I may have other thought your over thinking situation! š¤£
historically she has made comments that i find surprising and borderline hurtful. itās so good to be able to come here and get it sorted out in my mindš
We went to the Stones concert last weekend! It was so good! I canāt believe Jagger can still move like he does at 80. Amazing! Iād maybe be a little annoyed at the questions, but give your friend grace. She may just want someone to relate to āŗļø
they played for 2 hoursā¦.i cannot believe the shape they are inš. Iām thinking you are right she was just seeking information and i need to cut her some slackā¤ļø
Maybe your friend was thinking how fun it would be to go to a concert and wondered if it was something she could navigate with her walker. I think she was seeking insight into how you managed the night.
You've gotten some great answers. I'm so glad that you got to have such an amazing experience! I would be super annoyed if I was trying to share my story and I kept getting interrupted. Maybe your friend just "wasn't thinking so good," LOL. Maybe try not to read so much into it unless it becomes a habit, in which case you could worry about it then! Congrats on seeing the Stones! š
Awesome! I've always been amazed by his vitality. Yet he keeps getting older, and he keeps doing it! Must be all that aerobic exercise from jumping all over the stage. š¤£
Don't overthink and go with your gut. When I feel I am being bombarded with questions that are off-topic to what I am sharing, I just tell the person, "I just wanted to share about "x" . . . and don't want to talk about my health/career/whatever right now." A true friend will back off.
I have a friend who gets on the same soap box over and over in just about every single conversation. (She can pretty much steer any conversation down that specific misery road.) When she gets to that point, I let her know I 'm not spending energy on it today. Sometimes I have to say that more than once. Emotional energy is just as important to our health as physical energy and draining one will drain the other. I try to manage those energy levels and use them for real and current issues. Friends who help fill those up are far and few between.
Oh my goodness, I would have been pretty annoyed with being asked those questions while telling a happy story. If the questions were asked after the story, I wouldāve been more receptive to them.
I have a friend who looks at life more from the negative than the positive. When sheās not feeling well she will say things that can be hurtful. As was said earlier, āmisery loves companyā.
Iām so happy for you that you got to see the concert! Hold onto that joyful feeling š
it may be that she just wanted helpful information but it was initially offputting. i love this place cause it truly helps sort stuff out. šI think the asking the question a second time was the problem. if i didnāt answer the first time maybe i donāt want to talk about it(i was always going to answer - she asked again before i had the chance). for myself(as i continue down this rabbit hole) it helps to know just what it was that i found bothersomeš
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