that’s life

[bipolarsunshine99]

I’m feeling really sad. I’m honestly a bit tired of how, in life, being a conscious, sensitive, and empathetic person—no matter how much I set my boundaries—still means I have to be the one with more understanding and emotional tools to deal with others.

These past few weeks have been extremely stressful, both because of work and because I’m moving, and I feel like the people around me just don’t have that same level of empathy.

Even when I’m stressed or upset, I don’t lash out or disrespect others. But when the roles are reversed, people don’t hold back with their words or their aggression. It’s depressing to feel like others don’t consider me, and even though I know it says more about them than it does about me, I can’t help but feel hurt and wonder—why do people treat me differently?

Why does my mom treat my siblings differently than she treats me? And why do I always treat her with respect when my siblings don’t?

Life, I guess.

[deValentin]

Our personal judgment isn’t always accurate, as you probably experienced yourself. Our emotions may distort it at times. So, it’s important to know whether our feelings are grounded in reality or not. If I feel afraid, and I know the present circumstances justify my fear, then I need to change the circumstances in order to appease my fear. For instance, if I have reasons to worry about the reliability of my car, the only way to appease my mind would be to bring it to the garage. On the other hand, if I worry about the reliability of my car without reasons, then I need to change my state of mind, not the external circumstances, in order to feel better.

You feel that people don’t treat you right. If based on common sense, evidence, and others’ unbiased opinion, you believe you’re being treated unfairly, then you may need to be more assertive, so others will treat you with more respect. However, if your perception of how you’re treated by others isn’t objective, then you may need to learn to stand back from your situation and be a bit less thin-skinned.

Often, we need to make efforts in both directions to be happier: circumstances need to be improved, as well as our attitude towards them. It’s at least my experience.

“In troubled times may I find the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

[bipolarsunshine99 in reply to deValentin]

Thank you 💗.

[EchoesEchoing]

Your post hits home for me, it's like I could've almost written it word for word. Being considerate of others' experiences has always been my default way of relating to others in most situations, and it's painful to be so sensitive and open when most other people aren't.

I think kindness and fairness are the best qualities someone can have, but many societies in the world do not prioritize such things. What I've found helpful for me is investing time in building relationships with others who are similar and appreciative, and holding onto those relationships by making them a priority. But I know it can be tough to find people like that. Sending positive vibes for more kind, reciprocal people in your life.