Scared - warm hospital to cold house: My partner... - MPN Voice

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Scared - warm hospital to cold house

MaggieSylvie profile image
13 Replies

My partner John has now been in hospital for 18 days. He first went into Resuscitation for two days - after I called for an ambulance. The morning after a hotel stay, after we arrived too late to get a taxi home from a nearby town, he (a T1 diabetic) became unresponsive. He had been showing signs of blood sugar problems for a while but there was nothing I could do and he seemed unable to test himself. I have to say the paramedics as well as the hotel staff at the Travelodge were amazing.

Once out of resuscitation he went into the Intensive Care Unit where a fantastic team brought down his dangerously high blood sugar; brought down his high blood pressure (high blood pressure is something very new to him), and informed me casually that he also had covid (we had just returned from a 2-week holiday together, and our return home was plagued with a heavy travel schedule that turned out to be too much for both of us for various health-related reasons)

When - all masked up and covered in blue paper and gloves - I finally got to see John, he didn't recognise me, was thrashing around, trying to pull off the oxygen mask and all the other plastic bits and pieces; didn't know where he was and was talking in tongues. The next time I visited, he recognised me and I was relieved to find that he was not brain-damaged. Soon he was almost back to normal. Then my predictions about moving to a new ward proved true and I received the phone call to say he was on the move.

When I turned up to visit the new ward (on my last legs and gasping due to a mile hike to the ward) I was turned away. It turned out the ward was a covid ward; I was informed it also had norovirus and was closed. Luckily I was allowed to leave a heavy bag of clothes, etc, that I thought he would soon need, and I went home to wait until the ward opened to visitors. Naturally, I was fuming that they had put an 80-year-old diabetic man into a ward where there were not one but two viruses. From that day, his health, such as it was, went downhill.

He had lost weight and strength; he developed a really bad cough, which I know is a covid symptom but in the ICU he had been symptomless. Over the space of two weeks due to the inability to eat, he has lost three and a half stones. Nevertheless, after so long in hospital, this week he was expecting to be sent home, but two days ago his hopes were dashed when he was told he couldn't because his standing blood pressure was too low. It was, in fact dangerously low. Blood pressure hasn't been an issue in the past.

The nursing staff appears very young and inexperienced. They seem to have been taught how to test blood pressure, blood sugar, and all those things that require electronic devices, but nothing else. There is a young man there who hasn't a clue how to get a patient from sitting on the bed to sitting on the chair and I've never heard any of them ask a patient how they are feeling and the man in the next bed got no attention when he woke up.

They are following a very slow, inefficient routine - in and out of the various bays - interspersed with long spells around the desk learning how to work the phones, showing very little interest in whether John drinks enough fluids or gets any exercise, treating every patient as routine, wandering in and out of the bay without any degree of organisation. The same goes for the delivery of food etc. On one occasion my partner's lunch was removed from his table when he visited the bathroom. He's diabetic and had to wait until dinner without anything to sustain him. Yesterday when I asked about his dinner, I was told "It's being cooked". That must be a standard reply because it was on the trolley with one other. Had I not been there, at some point, he would have got a cold dinner. When he started to feel dizzy, he would never have received the medical help he needed if I hadn't been there to go up to the desk.

The ward is very warm. You can definitely feel the difference when the porter pushes my wheelchair out into the corridor (yes, I finally got help) and I don't think John realises how cold it has become. The main way of heating our home is with our log burner and an air-to-air pump. I am not using the log burner because I'm not supposed to lift anything or do the bending required to clear away the ash. It's warm enough for me but he was cold before we went abroad in mid-November, and he thinks he will be able to bring logs in and light the fire when he comes home. At the moment he cannot even stand up! He cannot climb the stairs and there is no bed and no room for a bed downstairs. What can I do? Sorry this is so long.

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MaggieSylvie
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13 Replies
katiewalsh profile image
katiewalsh

Hi. I’m so sorry to hear about the nightmare you & your partner are going through. I’m not from the UK so hopefully MAZ will reply with knowledge applicable to your situation. My suggestions based on things in the USA, are to ask to have the hospital social worker/support services get involved to help you both in the hospital & figuring out how you can manage at home. I’d also ask your k your partners usual doctors to get involved as much as they can with both inpatient & home problems. Last, I’d see if there are any programs for seniors or the aged where you live (here it would be the geographical area-county you live in) that can help. Of course any help either of your families can provide would be very good. I hope someone from the UK can provide helpful advice. You’re doing an amazing job. Katie

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie in reply to katiewalsh

Thank you, Katie for your kind words and good advice (which is as relevant here as in the US). I don't really have any family and John's daughters are all miles away working. Even the one who is closest and is a highly qualified nurse, is a bit off-putting when I call and I really need her to throw her weight around a bit. His GP used to be mine but in my case she was making mistakes, so I changed doctors. I think I can talk to the surgery staff, who might have the phone number of the physio/occupational therapist. I have thrown out all the to do lists with phone numbers (I was so glad to have got through them). I feel he needs someone else to visit him and talk some sense into him - not least because I find the drive to and from the hospital very stressful (sun in my eyes all the way there and car lights blinding me going home. I am also unable to leave the ward when I would wish because porters are in short supply (I can't make it to the ward without a wheelchair). Today nobody in their right mind would drive with the snow covering the roads. Hey ho - everywhere we turn there's an obstacle.😀

Trocken profile image
Trocken

so sorry to hear the situation both you and John find yourselves in. Have you spoke. To the ward manager about your concerns, both on the ward and also about your concerns about John coming home. You may find that they can assign a hospital social worker to you and John to identify what help you both may need, with johns reduced mobility, I would hope he would be assessed by a physiotherapist and an occupational therapist to make sure he’s safe mobilising and identify what equipment you may need at home to support you. If your not comfortable speaking to the ward staff, it may be worth speaking to your GP too for advice and support x

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie in reply to Trocken

Thank you for your reply, Trocken. I'm not aware of a ward manager. However, we had an appointment already set up before we went away, with a physiotherapist. We already have what we need and we disagree on the bathroom. We live in a small cottage and we don't need grab rails when there is already something there to grab on to. One of the problems is that we normally use a hospital in the nearby next county but the hospital he's in is in our own postal district. But I think I will get in touch with her again to see what she can do with the present situation. Thank you for triggering the idea.😊

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie in reply to Trocken

I have thought about involving his GP but she has so far shown no interest, and I have this probem that her surgery is in one county, while he is in hospital in another. I was expecting a social worker to be attached to him but I doubt the staff have even thought of it. Perhaps there isn't a social worker that does that sort of thing.

we had a similar problem with my husband’s treatment in the stroke ward and I involved the PALS team. Things were better then. He is now in a different hospital where the nursing is more professional. We were anxious to get him into a nursing home but have decided to leave him in hospital as long as possible in case he needs to go back and no ambulance is available.

dabs121 profile image
dabs121

Sorry to hear about all of this. You need help/ support. Speak to your GP, Social Services, Citizen's Advice, etc or have a friend or relative seek the support you both need. I hope you get the care and help you need soon.

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie

Your last sentence sets out a scenario that we need to be prepared for; it probably wouldn't happen but it has happened before when antibiotics needed to be intravenous but were oral and didn't work. I'm reluctant to contact PALS in a hospital that we don't normally use. I am seeing the results of covid and insufficient staff in this hospital. It's frightening. There's no real warmth in any of the nurses. They always have to look at the sign above the bed to see the name of the patient - which this one wouldn't notice because he's blind. I'm glad you were able to leave your husband in hospital, and hope he gets the attention he needs and recovers soon enough to return home.😊

Mostew profile image
Mostew

Do hope you can find some help. You can always say no , if not suitable .Never expect , unfortunately. Ask about social worker

So worrying for you.

Mazcd profile image
MazcdPartnerMPNVoice

hi MaggieSylvie, I am so sorry to hear that John has been so unwell, and how difficult it has been for you as well. I would agree with the advice above about contacting PALS, they will be able to help you, it doesn't matter that it is a hospital you don't normally use, they will help you. Also with regards to John being discharged and having help at home, this information on the NHS website explains the procedure for getting help and support for both of you nhs.uk/conditions/social-ca....

the PALS team will be able to help you with this as well, so do please contact them and make sure that you get the help and support that is there for you and John.

Best wishes, Maz

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie in reply to Mazcd

Thanks for your reply Maz. That's what I'll do. The surgery is unable to talk until 2.0 and i can't get through to John - perhaps the doctors are doing their rounds. So here goes to find the number.😟

Mazcd profile image
MazcdPartnerMPNVoice in reply to MaggieSylvie

you are welcome and good luck with getting it sorted out. Maz x

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie in reply to Mazcd

Thanks Maz. PALS say that he will be assessed and they won't send him home until he is deemed medically fit. Advised to talk to the nurse in charge but I doubt she will have any understanding that he didn't arrive in hospital at 11 stone; he was 3 1/2 stones heavier - that he came in to ICU with severe diabetic problems and was then found to have covid. I'm wondering whether he picked it up as he was brought in to the hospital, or whether it isn't possible to get a positive result that quickly. The covid has just thrown a spanner in the works (he's had 5 vacs) and now the blood pressure! I'm glad that he won't be sent home yet but at the same time, he is too weak to do much but he is bored and getting depressed. He's not in his usual hospital where they know him and yet I daren't suggest he gets moved because he wants to come home!

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