Parenthood

[Scottishboy]

Parenthood, anyone else struggled after becoming a Dad? 8 weeks in and getting worse not better, my head is all over the place.

[Steviemay]

When I first had my little girl 7 years ago I struggled myself. I ended up having severe depression because I felt like having a child completely changed my lifestyle. But after talking to my wife and explaining how I felt it helped. I'd suggest you talk to someone who's been in same situation or maybe a therapist but if u ever need a chat send me a message and I'll try to help

[Scottishboy in reply to Steviemay]

I have spoken to friends who keep telling me it get's easier/better, I just can't see how it gets better? My life has been switched on it's head and I was not prepared for it at all. I had a great social life especially at the weekends and now it's all gone. My wife was my best friend and now we just just fight and nip at each other, have tried speaking to her about how I'm feeling but shes not interested only in our daughter. Really really struggling and cannot see any light at all at end of tunnel. There is no going back now though and that adds to my worries

[hypercat54 in reply to Scottishboy]

Well of course your life has changed but I bet not as much as your wifes has! Don't forget she also still has her 'baby' head on with hormones still racing round her body. This will settle down in time though.

Now there are two ways you can go. The first one is to carry on as though you are still childless and regretting the loss of your social life. In this scenario you feel neglected and storm out when you have words (this is when she needs you most though) and eventually you might have an affair to get some attention.

The second is to have a calm chat with your wife showing concern about how she is coping and making sure you take some of the burden off her. She is probably very tired and stressed as taking care of a baby is very hard work. I bet she misses her old life too and is finding it just as hard or even harder to adapt to than you. Don't forget she hasn't got her social life anymore either.

it is natural she has to put the baby first especially if it is your first one. This should be pulling you together not apart. There is no reason why you still can't both have a good night out in the future - ever heard of babysitters? Probably not though for a while as she would be worried about leaving the baby while so young so be patient. When things settle down both of you can also have a night a week apart too doing your own thing if you want. x

[welly10 in reply to Scottishboy]

Hi mate a child changes all the dynamics of your life.you seem to argue more yes your social life gets kicked into touch you start to prioritise different things but just try and stay the course it dissent help your wife not listening as her priorities are around the child.my daughter is nearly 9 now I didn't have her till I was 40 I'm ex forces I've travelled for a few years and was very selfish.i used to blame my daughter as I looked at her as taking it all away.but as your child grows you want to nurture them a try to teach them it's a beautiful scary ride but when she's older I'll go travelling with her life always comes around.good luck get sleep.

[welly10]

It's hard pal all the pressure hits you like a ton of bricks.go see doctor men get depression just as much as women after a child.it could be just low mood.seek advice from a professional.

[Redrosejmp]

Being a new parent is the hardest thing in the world because nothing prepares you for it. The most important thing is getting enough sleep because lack of sleep affects your hormones and can make everything seem worse. Also talk to your wife and work out what you both want and need. It's all about compromising so that you make quality time for each other, baby and for yourselves. If its still verwhelming don't be afraid to talk to your GP.