So i haven't wrote for a while
My emotions are like most; some days i'm good and other days I'm low and let things effect me
I am so grateful for the people around me who truly have shown that they are there for me and although ive still struggled in all ways they helped and i wouldnt be here without them; especially as you clearly see whos there and whos not and that some people just dont understand what you've been through or how to deal with it or how to react or show that they are there. To anyone going through it i'd say think of it being the other way round and take everything with a pinch of salt. Sometimes being stuck in four walls you really overthink things and worry about stuff but just don't. Think about yourself and focus on something and allow yourself to heal/recover and time to do this. Especially as stress isn't a great thing and also after the stress I've been through and my body my hair's falling out and so i can't overthink, worry or allow myself to stress at all over anything; keep calm and think positive, its hard but force it you can do it! Be brave! haha. Sometimes its also the people that make a difference thay you prejudged/expected not to care that were there or that said the right things that just clicked!
I hope to show once im out and about more and if i ever get any wages/decent money haha to show all the people that have held me up how special they really are!
Anyway (i do go on 😂🙈) ... My headaches are quite the same; sometimes quite bad other times I'm sure i think i forget about them or at least now I'm getting better im distracted from them. So they're continous aswell as ear pains. I/my family asked the GP to refer me for pyhsio; ive just started this but its started to improve my back and neck which the girl said is very stiff; the bones and muscles and there's still a lot of pain/soreness and clicking there, so thats ongoing. My ibs is still bad im hoping on my next GP appointment they can refer me to sort this. My eyes are quite bad which i didn't notice loads until i started to do more and be more active so I'm getting referred to an ontologist for that. The circulation in my hands, arms and legs i feel isn't great and is like pins and needles but i imagine the more i move/become active that'll stop in time/get better.
My memories definately been effected and what i think doesn't always come out of my mouth right as though i stumble my words but wishfully thinking that will get better the more i interact/be out and about and get back to work.
Im still deaf in my right ear but not as bad and the ent specialist said that your body just adjusts to this; so hopefully as i get on to doing more I wont notice it as much and he also said sometimes with this much damage and nerve damage/pressure your nerves/brain still sends pain/signals that can be helped with medication and theres exercises that help with balance if i need it but times a great healer so ill see how it goes. He said my ear drum has mended itself and there's scar tissue so as thats healed that's obviously whats improved my balance/dizziness etc
I still have off & on pains, pressure pains, throbbing and weird sensations especially the one from my head to top of my back that stop me leaning back but i feel loads better than obviously i once was and after feeling so low at times in and out of hospital i now feel like i should be positive and i'm trying to think about being/getting really fit and mobile completely and all the things i can eventually get up to, things to look forward to etc.
But also i still am bearing in mind ive still got issues but little by little i never thought i'd be like i am now When i first came out of hospital i was skin and bones and could barely walk or sit and never thought that would ever happen or that id get better.
Im not a victim but a survivor, accept what you've been through, allow yourself time, accept the normal what once was is never going to be the same and be positive, get strong and help others, that's just what i think.
Anyway ill let you know how starting work for a couple of hours goes and how i am after moving more etc.
Thanks for reading; take care guys!🤗💋💛