Adult autistic son with obesity

[Skippymcdoo29]

Hi my son is 31. He has autism (but went thru mainstream schools) and is now obese. He lives at home and was made redundant last year after working as a driver for 5 years which he hates as it made him anxious. He also has depression. He only has 1 gcse, maths and is going to college to retake English for the 4th time but he’s not really interested in it and finds it hard. I can’t motivate him to do anything. He was on wegovy last year and lost 2 stone but got pancreatitis so had to stop and now put it all back in again. He has no friends but doesn’t seem bothered just plays video games. It breaks my heart. I just want him to have a life. No one seems to be able to help. Any advice?

[Haltonmoor]

Hi

Is he receiving medication for his depression? A mild anti depressant might give him a different outlook on life. Does he shop for his own food? Has he had any guidance on healthy eating? If he could have some help with his shopping trolley and an incentive not to fill it with crisps and Mr. Kipling cakes (my 29year old sons favourite). Ask him to cook several times a week or batch cook so he has healthy meals in the freezer. Encourage him out of the house every day for a walk. Is there a local dog charity that needs volunteer walkers? Is there a local litter picking group? Is there a church he might join to give him a sense of community? I find it impossible to motivate my own son to try any of the above he does however walk everywhere and takes himself off to the cinema two or three times a week, goes to a couple of local ‘gin’ bars and chats to locals. He has never been into gaming but spends hours watching dvd’s. Lives with his older sister who cooks healthy meals five days a week and can manage to peel a potato and carrot occasionally. Difficult to change them once they establish a pattern. I think it must be to do with their autism. If he can drive he is higher functioning than my lad, but doesn’t help if he doesn’t walk everywhere. Will he respond to a chart showing his weight then set a target for weight loss? My lad does have scales and is supposed to stay below 15 stone. Just a few ideas but a visit to the GP for a general checkup and a BMI calculation and a leaflet on healthy eating might be a good starter. Also to help his depression. Every person with a learning disability is entitled to a health check every year.

Not easy is it

[Skippymcdoo29 in reply to Haltonmoor]

Many thanks for your reply and no it isn’t easy is it! Yes he’s on antidepressants-he’s on his 3rd kind and although they help him sleep, they also make him hungry! He generally doesn’t eat cakes and chocolate but is over 20 stone now I think although now he won’t weigh himself. He did the nhs tier 3 weight management service for 6 months but lost no weight.

You’re lucky that his sister is happy to look after him. My son has 3 older half siblings but they don’t bother with him. He’s never been assessed for a learning disability. After his autism diagnosis at 4, no one really got involved bar a bit of speech therapy at school. There doesn’t seem to be help for us carers either. It’s nice to find a community here. Thanks!

[49Twister in reply to Haltonmoor]

Great advice

[49Twister]

Agree with Haltonmoors advice. I think an appointment with the GP would be useful regarding his weight and health and any recommendations they can give but it sounds like you've already been down that road. Look up if there is a carers centre in your area. Very helpful regarding support for yourself and opportunity to meet other people in similar situations. Can provide so much useful info I highly recommend. Good luck

[Haltonmoor in reply to 49Twister]

Sometimes there are local hubs? There used to be one in Southwell Notts but we never used it. The Autistic Society or Mencap may have local groups. Your local NHS LD team may have local info. Man sheds? Local inner city farms sometimes have people with LD working or cafes who support people with LF. The local Mencap charity shop may offer support to volunteers. I'm overwhelmed myself as my son doesn't want to do voluntary work but didn't cope in the local Nisa shop (paid employment) who at least tried to support him but when management changed he couldn't cope with having things done differently!

[Skippymcdoo29 in reply to Haltonmoor]

Many thanks for your reply. Sadly can’t motivate him to do volunteer work and doesn’t want to driving work anymore cos he found it stressful. Local carers group is only for parents of v young children or much older people. I belong to local NAS group but nothing has seemed relevant so far but will try again. It is overwhelming isn’t it! There seems to be a big gap in support and advice for this age group in our area. Maybe I need to start a group!