time off: I recently been invited to a week away... - Mencap

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time off

Anonymousdoglover profile image

I recently been invited to a week away birthday celebration for a very good friend of mine.

I requested cover for my daughter, whilst I’m away, so far, I managed to get two days cover by a charity organisation I regularly use for overnight stays however, social services are not supporting the rest of the week cover, bearing in mind, the daily care agency would be willing to do it for an extra cost.

I am a single mum with no family.

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Anonymousdoglover profile image
Anonymousdoglover
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9 Replies
Inside profile image
Inside

oh that’s so difficult for you especially hard when you have no one else to support you, can dad not step up to the plate? I really hope you get it sorted so you can enjoy the birthday celebrations.

Anonymousdoglover profile image
Anonymousdoglover in reply to Inside

I feel truly alone looking after my special girl…

Fathers is never been on board, she hasn’t seen him since the first lockdown.

Inside profile image
Inside in reply to Anonymousdoglover

That’s awful. It must be very hard for your daughter too. I’m sorry I can’t suggest anything. Sending you and your girl lots of Love.

Anonymousdoglover profile image
Anonymousdoglover in reply to Inside

Thank you, however is better this way somehow….

TPrider profile image
TPrider

I raised mine on my own and respite was not something available to me generally speaking. On the occasion I got it then there would be a call, sometimes before I got home saying I needed to go collect him as he was too difficult to look after! I got to ignore those calls.

One particular meeting and, I wouldn't recommend this, I had booked to take my other 3 to Disneyland Paris leaving in two days. Had the respite booked for my eldest when a social worker toward the end of the meeting said that they'd had to cancel the respite because she wasn't able to get the funding request in on time! I asked could she not do it today or tomorrow and said that she couldn't because she was going on holiday.

I was at rock bottom at the time so I got some chairs and locked the door. I said that if she is going to cancel my holiday I am going to cancel hers unless the respite is sorted right now.

To my shock, it was sorted and we had a great holiday.

We should never have to do something drastic to get something so simple.

When they keep pushing carers eventually it collapses. It is the last thing we want but we get to a point where we cannot reasonable cope any more. That tiny amount of money those respite days would have cost then become a 6 figure care budget which they seem to be able to find the money for!

Why do carers have to be driven into the ground before they release the money?

The only hope is this ... if they assessed the respite as a need yet, cannot agree the funding then, you agree it with the care provider and send them the bill. Legally, once assessed as a need, social services are obliged to fund. (As much as they try and pretend that is not true, it's in the care act)

HolisticMum profile image
HolisticMum in reply to TPrider

Well done you for doing that. Great job and this is how they push and push until you can take no more.

Anonymousdoglover profile image
Anonymousdoglover in reply to TPrider

Absolutely agree with you, they just push you to the limits!

I only started receiving respites 3 years ago, because I wasn’t backing off and made lots of complaints, I was taken to a child protection case, it was unbelievable!!!

They used old information regarding my mental state against me, instead of helping they tried to make things worse for me.

They wanted to take my child to assisted living just because they were refusing to send me some home support ….

In the end, they agreed a small package, sadly is not always fulfilled, due to staff shortages out of my control. When I ask the missing hours to be fulfilled they just answer, if you don’t use it, you loose it…. Absolute joke!!!

Lockdown I was left on my own, therefore out of 3years over a year I was without support….

Then as you the social worker went on holiday and then went to look after a member of her family and didn’t see her for the rest of the year…

Deputy application to the court, questioned what I needed to do, she refused to answer…. She didn’t even tell me I had to make the application….

I have no faith in the system that it’s supposed to help us…

HolisticMum profile image
HolisticMum in reply to Anonymousdoglover

No definitely no faith in their system. All paying lip service. My one sent an email about 2 weeks ago, it wouldn't open cos it said it was Encrypted (whatever that means). Wrote back straightaway because I think it is important to know what it is about the budget. Of course no reply. Wrote to her Manager, she replied but didn't answer the question. Wrote Thursday to said SW, back comes an automated Out of Office reply. They cause me more problems than when I never had to rely on the self directed budget. We only have it for our boys so that they get contact with others. But I've never had so much stress and anxiety since my youngest left school 4yrs ago. Wish you all the luck and here's to all us parents who are pulling their tripe out, keeping their heads above water, saving the country billions and getting no thanks for it. You are Brilliant. Merry Christmas. xx

sidarnio profile image
sidarnio

going back to the original post, could you look at booking a supported holiday for your child? We use a company who are based in Manchester and they are brilliant. There is a cost to it but I use direct payments for this.

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