I had never felt anger or sadness from the very fist moment I was tested pos. I just heard the news and thought. That s it! Another big challenge in my life. But not the biggest for sure. I decided to deal with treatment alone, keep the new situation alone, visit the doctor alone, reestablish alone, survive alone. It was easier than trying to find a partner to share good moments. I found out that it is harder to find a friend rather than deal with HIV.
That was a huge surprise to me. So I start developing activities like swimming, gardening and studying. Alone. Know what? I even forget that I have HIV, I got totally away from that issue and for me is nothing to worry about.
Yet I suffer. From solitude cause, with or without HIV, I find this a true and big disease: not having friends nor someone to share my life happily. Weird but absolutely true.
Maybe I m lucky cause I m strong enough to fight the mental consequences of HIV but I m not lucky cause I get weakened due to solitude...