Daughter with AS behavior

My daughter is 17 and was always good at anything he tried. Musical instruments reading good grades in school. She should have emotional outbursts in elementary school when she got frustrated with homework assignments. In high school she got frustrated not knowing the kids in the lunchroom and td me she was eating in the bathroom. She found an art teacher who allowed her I eat in her classroom over lunch and she took to this teacher and felt comfortable. She stopped doing homework in highschool but got good grades on her tests. Teachers didn't like this so my daughter wanted to drop out of high school. She told Counselors she hated school and did t feel like it was relevant She purposely started not turning in assignments in her advance placement classes so she could be in the alternative program. She was very focused on a strategy to get out of high school fast. I had been having problems getting her to go to school and even had the truant officer come to the house to pick her up. It didn't bother her and she stayed focused on telling Counselors she didn't like school because she didn't like being around people. I thought she was being a manipulative teenager. She apies for jobs and did well in any position whe worked but doesn't stay long in any position. He is quick to apply for new jobs. At seventeen she has worked four jobs. I felt she enjoyed the rules and proving she was good at following rules. She became obsessed with her diet. First a vegetarian now a vegan and reading every food label to find out if it's organic. She gets frustrated at restaurants especially if they put a vegetarian item on a vegan Menue. She is quick to lecture food servers about dairy items and butter should not be on the vegan Menue. She becomes upset when these violations occur. She is happy when she finds vegan foods that are correct. It becomes a very controlling Situation with foods. Although she is extremely messy in the kitchen, doesn't clean up and spills on counters on floors. It's stressful just seeing her start to cook meal. She allows garbage to overflow rather than take out the trash and keeps her room and bathroom a mess by never putting a thin away including her clean clothes which are in baskets in her room. Sounds like a typical teenager? I thought so except she has violent outbursts if you ask er to clean up or if I put her things away. I believe it actually stresses her out to have clothes out I drawers where she can't see them She currently just completed high school through the alternative program and seems to be happy. She works two part time jobs and says she wants to attend junior college since she blew it in high school. I'm hoping that she will seek out the social situations that are within her comfort zone. I've learned to adjust my own expectations by not providing her too many clothes or things as it stresses her out. She seems happier having few clothes and few demands She is awkward choosing clothes and her hair is usually messy. She asks me if she looks okay because she does not feel confident. I understand she prefers low maintenance so I adjust my expectations so that my daughter feels comfortable. As long as she is safe I have learned to let her determine her comfort zone. I have to learn to think a little differently and try and see things the way my daughter does. I think she is different but she is going to be ok.

2 Replies

  • Hi,

    Your daughter presents blatant signs of Asbergers.

    There is also a rare form of Autism called Pathological Demand Avoidance . You can have a combination of Asbergers, ADHD , ADD, SPD or PDA on its own.

    If you read my previous posts it explains what to look for .

    My youngest son is Musical , he is nearly a copy cat case of your daughter. Late diagnosis at 17 and it's still ongoing .

    With the correct Stratagies in place there is no reason if it's Asbergers why she can't live a normal happy life. PDA will need 24/7 support and the Stratagies are different.

    Good luck xx



  • parliament.scot/GettingInvo...

    I would be delighted if you could sign this Petition and spread awareness of PDA.

    Anyone in the World can sign and if we can get the Scottish Ministers to accept the information presented to them and formally recognise PDA it sets the precedent for the rest of the World.

    The lack of understanding of both Autism Spectrum and PDA is shocking .

    Thank you xx

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