Vacation from hell almost killed my Mom with a stroke

[LostGenius]

Hi Everyone,

I had my first real vacation since accident and the pandemic. I went with my parents since they are getting older and thought it might be there last to this particular spot.

Every day something went wrong… so bad that I thought maybe we should stay another few days to de-stress… and my parents thought so too our flight was in about 12 hours so let’s go for dinner and relax.

On the way to go back to our hotel room to change for dinner we waited in line and got one of those casino gambling points cards. My Mom was very angry (unlike her) and raised her voice at the man. Very odd. So I got her to sit while I finished up.

The all of a sudden my Mom felt very tired and says she couldn’t walk to the room so we got a wheelchair at the front desk. They had a nice young man wheel my Mom all the way back to the room.

As I was closing the door I saw my Mom’s arms flailing in arm oddly when she went down the 2 steps to the lounge area so I ran over. She looked like she was passed out drunk but with open eyes on the sofa. I instantly knew something was wrong and though OMG SHES HAVING A STROKE. She kept saying she was just tired. My Dad was yelling at me that she’s just tired and leave her alone. Then the scary thing that confirmed my fears was she said “I can’t hear you to see you” omg I thought as I stood in front of her!

I ran to call 911 but I was in a huge hotel so I call the instant service line and they said would send EMTs. Then when they arrive and couldn’t get a read for blood pressure I argued get the ambulance SHE’S HAVING A STROKE. No one listened… then finally after who knows how long and useless neuro tests where they thought she was ok (she was slurring but they couldn’t hear it) they tried to get my mom to stand… she couldn’t even get up. Then these idiots finally listened and called an ambulance but it shouldn’t have taken so long.

Longer story to this hellish experience but to make it short we spent 8 days a foreign country hoping my mom wouldn’t die. The fancy insurance she bought was useless in getting her home safe… they were supposed to transfer her acute bed to acute bed but out her in red eye flight with a shitty travel nurse from hell. The admin hospital messed up repeatedly to allow an unsafe transfer.

Now she back home dumped in an ER starting the hellish ER process to admittance again. I think I had a TIA from the stress and no proper sleep for over a week but healthcare is terrible here so I’m just taking aspirin and trying to calm down to help my Mom as my careless family wants to shove my parents in a home now because they even know if my mom will let alone survive or even recover.

I’m done. Just know stroke signs in women may be different and if you’re a woman no one will listen they’ll just think you are ‘worrying’ fir nothing,

Sorry if this makes no sense…I’m so stressed as my Mom has an M2 blockage and her left side is messed up and I know with the visual neglect and executive function how hard recovery will be for after fighting 6 years in this hell myself from my accident.

Please pray for her (or do whatever you think will help!) Positive thoughts she will live through this! ♥️ Thanks for listening.

[1949liz]

What a dreadful situation your in and your poor mum. It’s unbelievable how your situation was made worse by the medical plunders. It’s a message to us all to check out our holiday insurance and make sure they cover every eventuality. You sound like you need a restful holiday or a day at a spa. Families we can’t change them have to live with them. It’s so sad, because as parents bring us into the world and in the not too distant past all families looked after each other. Mums looked after nana and grandpa and children looked after mum and dad. Life has totally change and not for the better. Take care and we’ll done for all the good you are doing. Love and Blessings Liz and Shelly 🐾🙏🌹

[LostGenius in reply to 1949liz]

Thank you to you and Shelly for the kind words. ♥️ I will need a vacation when this nightmare is over but first I’m hoping we will get my Mom the care she needs with the hospitals being in such a bad state here.

[cat3]

Thinking of you LG and sending best wishes for better days ahead for you & your mum.. Cat x

[LostGenius in reply to cat3]

Thank Cat! ♥️ Here’s to hoping that better days are indeed ahead of us all.

[cat3 in reply to LostGenius]

Do try to make some time for your own care & needs in between the upheaval of all that's happening. Easy to say I know, but try to avoid dwelling on possibilities which might never arise ; everyone is unique and there are no text book outcomes for stroke.

Keep us updated on your mum when you can m'love and sincere best wishes for signs of improvement soon.... Cat x

[Alibongo60]

Hi Lost Genius, hope the situation has settled a little now and you are able to get some rest, what country are you in, it can be very frustrating to compare different levels of care between different countries. I went on holiday to Majorca a few years ago, and ended up in hospital, I had every brain test going as I have a very large brain aneurysm, it was frightening, and distressing, in the end we were transferred to a public hospital when our insurance was querying further payments, and then the neuro man said investigations could continue at home, couldn’t get out quick enough, and never been back. All our holidays now are spent in this country, well actually in Wales, beautiful country and can get back to Manchester in an hour if I need to. Hope you get the help you need for your mum, but like Cat says make sure you don’t over do it, lots of love Alice xx

[LostGenius in reply to Alibongo60]

Thanks Alice. I was just able to visit my Mom again today after a week away as I’m living 2 hours away.

I’m a little concerned as here in Canada the hospital care isn’t really good and where she is the orderlies (those that assist the nurses) run your care and day. There is one orderly that is treating my Mom so badly (my sister mentioned last week she yelled at my Mom when she required assistance ). Apparently she threatened her that if she isn’t nice to her she won’t be nice to her. This lady doesn’t seem to understand that when you have stroke your words and speak aren’t perfect which means you might be misinterpreted. I know that happens to me with concussion issues.

I’m concerned that with this mistreatment and stress my Mom’s recovery will be hindered.

My Mom is so upset that she won’t even call for help as she is getting yelled at. Unfortunately this terrible lady is on shift 5 days per week with my Mom. I’m almost thinking to pull her from this hospital and take her to where I live but I’m not sure if the province will pay for her care. I just want to cry when I think what this one single person that doesn’t give a shit is doing to her. If I complain I’m afraid this lady will do worse things. As it is she isn’t dressing my Mom in clean clothing or helping her get ready by washing etc. Canadian healthcare is a disgrace and if it’s going to cost $300/day for a bed with poor treatment it’s ridiculous.

Thanks for listening at this point I can’t even sleep thinking of this horrible treatment. 😭

[Alibongo60]

hi LG, oh dear, it’s bad enough your mum being poorly without the worry if she is getting the proper care. Is there no one on that ward that you can speak to, we have a complaints procedure in each hospital that you can contact and they will look into any complaint and procedure and act as intermedia we are very lucky to have our nhs, and our bespoke brain injury wards, with staff who understand how to care for us. I was a senior care assistant in a residential home I would have been mortified if a member of my staff had shouted at my residents, they are in the wrong job and it is ABUSE, please try to find someone to speak to, your mum needs protecting from that evil person, lots of love Alice xx

[LostGenius in reply to Alibongo60]

Thank you Alice. ♥️ I will see what I can do. In the province my Mom is in they are short staffed and they seem to hire people right off the street for those jobs. I spoke to my Dad to see if he can do anything when he goes in for a visit. I really don’t think the hospital will do anything and the lady wouldn’t tell my Mom her name and she’s wearing her name tag backwards so I have zero clue who she is. Maybe my next trip up I will take a photo and say ‘this evil woman’ 😜. Thanks again.

[Alibongo60]

Hi LG, this evil woman needs stopping, and the hospital must have some sort of safeguarding and complaining in place I am sure. My other concern is for the people who can’t complain if she is being like that with the ones who can complain what is she like with the people who are combative or confused due to their strokes, I dread to think. The fact she’s hiding her name worries me, she knows she’s in the wrong, this is Canada, not some backward country, there must be something in place, please LG check, your mum is in danger, lots of luck and love xx